Fairfield Follies

After enduring forty-six years of littering, trespassing, theft of “No Trespassing” signs, and the ignoring of the (at least figurative) barrier of a split-rail fence, I faced the inevitable fact that a more substantial fence was in order. With great regret, I declined the beauty of a PVC-vinyl privacy fence, for the transparency of chain link, in order to prevent anyone from being able to claim that my fence was any obstruction to view at the upper left corner, which unfortunately (by no fault of my own) happened to reside at an intersection, that of three streets, in my neighborhood.

Several someones complained to the Bureau of Permits and Inspections, and claimed that a transparent object could obstruct view.

I invite everyone to bask with me in the supreme irony of yet the latest in a long series of infringements upon my property, and violations against my absolute rights as a property-owner, even after my carefully-constructed preventive of settling for a less attractive fence. People never cease to amaze me.

I growled, gritted my teeth, and dealt with the nuisance value of phone calls and letter-exchanges involved in setting my attorneys upon the tedious task of dispensing with yet that additional harassment. I troubled myself to amass the necessary photos to prove that, as the dictionary definition says, a transparent object is that which is no obstruction to vision.

As the French existentialists are fond of saying, life is truly absurd.

One of my friends astutely observed that if she were too blind to see through a transparent fence, she certainly would not admit it to public officials, because then, if they were sensible, they would realize that she did not belong behind the wheel of a car, and would lift her license.

Since this began, I have heard from several different sources that there is a group here in the Fairfield Development which has been harassing individuals here regarding their private properties for many years, and that I am not only not the first victim, but not even the only one right now. This naturally strengthens my already strong conviction that your true motive had nothing to do with a vision issue, but was the only way that you could think of to complain about my fence, with even a shred of a chance of being taken seriously. Several people have suggested to me that you are simply arrogant, petty, lord-it-over-everyone types who are never happy unless you are imposing upon the rights of others. But I know that it’s more than that, because you gave yourselves away right from the beginning. Instead of being discreet, you bragged to way too many people that you were going to “get rid of the fence.” Therefore, I’m quite convinced that you simply do not like chain link, and you don’t like the fact that I’ve cut off the trespassing route. Due to your obvious gall, I find it easy to imagine that you were the very same ones who had trespassed and littered here in the first place, and thus caused the very fence to which you object. Such irony!

Also, since your other current target is someone who has mulch and tree stumps in his yard, I have to surmise that your real problem has more to do with appearance of the development than with anything else, that you have your own conceptions of what is and is not attractive, and that you have the peculiar notion that others will either possess exactly the same standards, or will somehow be inclined to comply with your standards and priorities instead of their own. What nonsense.

I have no doubt that this sort of thing happens all of the time, in neighborhoods everywhere, and that there have been numerous victims. But I also strongly suspect that most of them do not share their stories afterward with the public. I firmly feel that this type of fiasco needs to be exposed, and that the people of our county have the right to know all about presumptuous neighbors and Bureau buffoons. Besides, nobody puts me on the defensive for ten months without seeing me come back at him and say that now, it’s my turn to put you on the defensive.

If you had treated me with courtesy, I would have granted you the same common decency. If you had come to me personally, politely, and told me respectfully that you had a concern about my fence, and that you hoped to speak with me about it, even though you knew that I had a perfect right to erect a fence on my own property, and that it was technically none of your business, this entire situation would’ve gone very differently. The reason that I am angry and insulted is because you abused and disrespected me with your harassment-approach.

When I speak of littering and trespassing offenses on my property over the years, I don’t just mean to a minor degree. Throughout four-and-a-half decades, violators have freely mistaken my vacant lot (adjacent to my house-lot) for a hiking trail, a bicycle trail, a little-red-wagon trail, a sledding run, a ball-field, a destruction derby, a parking lot, and even the town dump! They have also long mistaken my private driveway for a public turnaround. More than once, coming home, I have even been unable to turn into my own driveway due to a trespasser using it as such a turnaround. Granted, we all endure horrible traffic on every road everywhere, but I absolutely refuse to tolerate a traffic jam in my own driveway. I fenced in self-defense.

Now if you-all are quite through hassling me with your destructive efforts, I suggest that you begin to apply your excess time and energy to some constructive efforts for a change. Join me in my fifteen-year-old fight to impress upon the county that that intersection is, always has been, and always will be, a dangerous one, until such time as the county bothers to furnish a four-way-stop there, just like the one that it managed to long since provide a mere block away, at a less busy intersection. As I have long since pointed out to the county, at school-rush-hour, the main road traffic just keeps coming nonstop from both directions, and anyone trying to either cross or turn onto the main road must take quite a risk. Over the decades, a fair number of vehicles have not made it, as all of us know who have lived here for any number of years, as we have all congregated up there at every screech-and-bang. Let’s get this straight: a transparent object cannot make that busy intersection any more or less dangerous. But a four-way-stop would render it very safe. Now, how about if we all work together to make it clear to the county that we want that four-way-stop now, and that we will tolerate no further delays.

While we’re at it, I would like to ask the innocent majority, who have never littered, trespassed, stolen, or harassed here, to please join me in conveying the message to our local busybodies that their attempted interference in our right to govern our own private property is not only not welcome here, but will avail them nothing, and will no longer be tolerated. I also ask folks in other developments with similarly intrusive people to speak up against this kind of offense. We cannot allow these cowardly violators, who don’t even have the courage to face us and identify themselves, to think that they can rule the rest of us, or to continue to sneak around behind our backs with their lowly letters and petty petitions, whining to the county like tiresome tattling ten-year-olds. For my part, now that I know how eager they are to mind my own business, I have switched to a privacy fence like I should have had in the first place, and shut out the prying eyes.

If you complainers are not thrilled with how my ironically message-laden red, white, and blue privacy fence has turned out, then you have only yourselves to blame. Despite my aggravation over the years regarding all of the trespassing and littering, I had kindly provided a fence through which you could see. You thanked me with an anonymous conspiracy and an unprovoked legal attack. So I have now eliminated the transparency. Instead of looking through my fence, you will have to look around it. If you don’t pull up your car far enough to do so, you’ll be out of luck. Now I ask you: was this really such an improvement? Was it worth all of this?

Unlike the nosy upstarts, I have the courage to sign my name.

Yours truly fed up,

Jeannie