INEVITABLE

Warning: this is rated PG-13.

            Smith could scarcely manage to watch...or to not watch. Robinson and West had torn into the two hostile aliens with a vengeance. The aliens had come up on them out of nowhere, attacked without warning, and his younger companions had ripped into them with no hesitation. Smith stared, wide-eyed, at the fray, and then grabbed the nearest blanket where he still sat at their campsite and threw it over his head. He could no longer see the battle, but he could sure hear it. The gruesome cracking sounds and the grunts of the participants reached his ears all too well, whereupon he peered out from under his cover, saw horrendous blows and gory blood, and hastily ducked beneath the blanket once again. He continued like that for some time: first hiding and then peeking. It was like seeing a car accident from the road: first he couldn't look, and then he couldn't not look.

            At last, the hostiles were driven away from the campsite.

            Smith stared, wide-eyed, at his returning companions as they approached, brushing themselves off in the process. Their eyes fixed on him in return. Only then did he hastily look away and down, intimidated, no longer able to meet their eyes.

            "Well, that was invigorating," West commented.

            Smith couldn't help but turn and stare anew. "Invigorating?? That was your word for that???"

            "Sure, why not?"

            Robinson agreed, "Certainly gets the adrenaline pumping and the blood flowing."

            "In more ways than one," Smith couldn't resist adding in a murmur, once again hiding his face from them. "Blood flowing, indeed."

            West's eyes glittered at the prospect of having a little fun with his favorite victim. "What's the matter, Smith? You couldn't decide whether you wanted to watch or not watch?"

            Smith ducked his head still lower. "I...thought you'd be...too busy to notice."

            Unsolicited, Robinson helped. "Of course we noticed."

            Unwillingly, Smith met their eyes, first one and then the other. West was smirking. Robinson regarded Smith openly, waiting.

            Smith ducked away again, whining, "You two are scary!" He heard both of them chuckle in response. "Why must you torment me?!" he flared.

            "Torment you?" Robinson questioned.

            Smith dared to challenge, "Let's speak plainly. I'm the one you really want to do it to; no point in denying it!"

            Robinson and West exchanged raised brows and suppressed smiles.

            Smith went on, "You both know that I'm terrified of you, and you're all smug and amused by it!"

            Robinson said carefully, "Now really, Smith, I think we've shown admirable restraint with you."

            Smith snapped, "Except for the half-dozen times that you've threatened me, and the several dozen times that he has!"

            Robinson eyed him sternly. "But we've never hurt you; you know that."

            "Not yet. But I'm doomed, and it's only a matter of time! It's not a question of if it'll happen, but only when!"

            "Do you really believe that?"

            "If you're that sure, then maybe we should just go ahead and get on with it," West said with a grin.

            Robinson tried to resist smiling along with him.

            "Must you two torment me?!"

            They sat down on either side of him, Robinson to his left and West on his right.

            Even so, they could barely hear his whisper, "What's it like?? Can you just tell me???"

            Robinson said diplomatically, "Everyone would describe it differently. I'm sure that you would find it plenty terrible, as sensitive as you are."

            Smith sniffled. "As scary as being surrounded like this? Don't think I didn't notice that you've surrounded me on purpose."

            West suggested, "Come on, Smith, you can't blame us for a little good-natured teasing now and then. Like John said, we haven't hurt you. And I think our teasing is pretty mild."

            Smith countered, "Can you imagine what it's like to live with the fear of that all the time??! It's like a giant weight hanging over my head, waiting to fall and crush me."

            "That sounds rough," West admitted. "Maybe we should just get it over with," he offered more gently. "Rather than keep you in the misery of suspense."

            "No!!!" Smith was panicky."You don't know what it's like to fear that like this!"

            Robinson responded matter-of-factly, "No, I don't."

            "It's worse because you two threaten me so often!"

            Robinson asked evenly, "Oh, so now it's our fault?"

            "Huh?"

            "It sounds like you're blaming us."

            Smith's timidity reasserted itself. "I...didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Please don't punish me!" He began to cry. "Don't do it to me, please don't!!" His voice was helplessly tearful. He hid his face in his hands, whether emotionally or for self-defense, they couldn't tell. He sobbed into his hands, "I'm so afraid of you!!!"

            Gently, Robinson put an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, now, take it easy. We're not going to just do it, for no reason. You're safe."

            "Really???" One blue eye peeked out at Robinson from between fingers.

            The latter chuckled good-naturedly. "Of course. We've only been teasing."

            West smiled gently at him and patted his shoulder. "Relax. Like John said, it won't happen without a reason."

            "But you've both had so many reasons for the near-misses that we've had."

            "Valid reasons, do you think?" Robinson queried meaningfully.

            Smith met his gaze, and his breath hitched in a slight gasp of fright. "Maybe," he acknowledged. "But...I can't...!" He dissolved again into tears.

            "Shhh, it's all right." Robinson gently jostled Smith, with his arm still around his shoulders. In response, Smith rested his head on the offered shoulder.

            "Smith!!!" Robinson bellowed the next morning, not for the first time.

            "Now why would he run off like that?!" West groused at his side.

            "I don't know. Was he that scared???" Robinson wondered, as they searched.

            "I thought he knew we were just teasing him. Smith!!!"

            They continued on like that for some time.

            When at last they came upon him, he was hiding in the brush. Smith rose in apparent joy at the sight of them...until he saw their expressions. Alarm entered his eyes as they moved aggressively toward him and backed him up against the wall of rock behind him.

            They watched his expression fall apart with fright. "What's wrong?? What are you doing???!"

            "Where the devil have you been?!" demanded Robinson.

            "Running! And hiding!!"

            "Come on! You knew we were only teasing you!!" West yelled at him.

            "What??? No, not running from you! From them!!!"

            "Them?? Them, who???"

            "Those aliens! The ones you defeated yesterday! They're angry! They were going to take it out on me!! I barely got away! And hid!! I was so pleased to see you two find me!! Until I saw that you were angry!! Why are you angry with me???!"

            "Why were you wandering around loose in the first place?!"

            "I had to...pee...in the middle of the night. They nearly caught me! I had to get away from them! I screamed, but I guess you didn't hear me! Please don't be angry with me! Please don't you take it out on me, too!!" Smith implored.

            Robinson and West both sagged in realization.

            Robinson sighed. "So this has been going on since the middle of the night???" It had just begun to register on him how very haggard Smith looked.

            As if Smith were only just realizing it, too, he nodded tiredly and leaned back against the rock wall.

            Forcing himself to be kind, West reached for him. "Okay, come on. Let's go back to the campsite."

            Smith hesitated momentarily, but then accepted, and leaned on West for support as he and Robinson took the older man back with them.

            It was only when they were safely back at their campsite that Smith gave in to his emotions. He dropped to sit at his spot and instantly began sobbing, as if that location itself were the trigger. Robinson and West once again seated themselves on either side of him.

            "I've been...terrified all night! They were after me! They nearly caught me several different times, and I barely slipped away each time! It was such a relief for you two to find me! Until you moved in on me as angrily as they had! Oh!! I'm so scared!! I'm so tired of being so scared!!!"

            Robinson and West both slipped arms around him from opposite sides, with only a slight awkward jockeying for position.

            "We're sorry," Robinson told him sincerely. "We didn't realize what was going on. We wouldn't have frightened you, had we known."

            "I know!" Smith nodded breathlessly. "I realize now...how it must have looked to you. I was so desperate! I was only thinking about being rescued, not about what you two would be thinking!"

            "I guess we all made too many assumptions," West admitted. "You should probably sleep."

            "I can't! I'm too upset! Too keyed up!" Smith turned and eyed West directly. "They...made fists at me! The way you always do!" He turned toward Robinson. "Thankfully, you've only done that at me a time or two. But that was scary enough!" He sagged in emotional exhaustion. He dropped his face into his hands as he'd done the day before, and sat trembling.

            "You know...," Robinson began hesitantly. "I've long wondered just how you've managed never to get into a fight with anyone at any time during your entire life. That would be quite an accomplishment. But you really never have, have you?"

            Smith's eyes rose to his. "Never," he confirmed.

            West was baffled also. "Not even when you were a teenager?"

            "No."

            "Most boys do, you know, at one time or another. How did you avoid...?" Something in Smith's expression made West trail off unfinished.

            Smith confessed, "I had a...near miss...once. It was hideous!"

            "Tell us," West prompted. "Unless...you don't want to."

            "I don't mind. But you'll be revolted."

            Forcing bravado with a slight grin, West said, "We can take it."

            Smith nodded slowly. "Don't say I didn't warn you." He sighed deeply. "When I was in junior high school.... I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that by far my worst subject was...phys ed...you know...gym...."

            Robinson and West managed not to guffaw, but they nodded their lack of surprise.

            Smith continued, "The...jocks...were.... Well, their main goal was always winning the game. Mine was always...surviving the encounter. Trying not to get knocked down or run over by the big jocks.... Trying not to get hit in the head by the ball...."

            Robinson and West struggled again to stifle their reactions. Both had been like the afore-mentioned "jocks" of Smith's narration in their day.

            Smith continued, "Well, some games, it seems, were more important to the jocks than others, for some unfathomable reason. On one day in particular, we lost the game, and they blamed me. It was afterward; we were in the locker room, and we were required to take showers. I always hated that: undressing in front of others. Disgusting! Anyway, the jocks were furious! They were blaming me, and aiming fists at me...like those two aliens last night did...like you two do.... Anyway, they backed me into the wall, and I was terrified out of my wits. I begged them not to hit me. I said, 'I'll do anything if you'll spare me!!' I probably shouldn't've said that. And yet, I'll always still say it...to you two...or anyone...in the same situation. The jocks...took me up on it. They ordered me to get down on all fours...."

            Robinson and West were beginning to realize where this was going, and their worried frowns met across Smith's lowered head.

            "They raped me," Smith whispered, barely audibly. "Four of them."

            "Oh my god, Smith," Robinson commented.

            "Oh jeez!" West exclaimed, revolted. "But...!" He struggled for words. "You're always so afraid of being hurt! That had to hurt!!"

            "Oh yeah!" Smith confirmed, meeting both listeners' horrified eyes. "But at least...it stopped hurting as soon as...he got out. Each man. Each time. And I doubt if the same can be said for...." He demonstrated a half-hearted fist.

            "Well, no," agreed West. "But I'd still rather...."

            "Yes, I'm sure you would," Smith concurred. "However, I would not. I would always choose...the lesser of two evils."

            "But we disagree on which is the lesser," Robinson clarified.

            "I suppose we do," said Smith.

            "My god!" West marveled, in horror.

            "I'm truly sorry that happened to you, Smith," Robinson offered diplomatically.

            "Thank you. But...at least, I got out of...." He eyed them again. "Well, you asked," he finished lamely.

            "Yeah," remarked West ruefully. "And I said, 'We can take it.' Poor choice of words."

            Robinson made a face at that. Then, he assured Smith, "Well, I think I can safely promise you, Don and I will never rape you."

            "Thanks. I think. But, I wish you could promise that you'd never...do anything worse."

            "Sorry."

            Smith sighed.

            Robinson showed uncharacteristic hesitation. "While we're on...this awkward subject, Smith.... I've long wondered.... Actually, my wife and I have always wondered...."

            West raised his brows at Robinson, clearly suspecting where this was going.

            Robinson quickly blurted, "Smith, are you homosexual?"

            With a fragile smile, Smith huffed out a puff of air, and answered slowly, "Actually, I'm...neither."

            "Neither??" West prompted.

            "I'm not...drawn to either...gender."

            "Oh." West sounded more mystified than enlightened.

            "Not really. That is, I've never...done...either way...."

            "Never??!!" exclaimed Robinson.

            "No," he admitted softly.

            Robinson stared, and then said, "You know, you're...missing something...."

            Smith shrugged. "I suppose.... I'll admit that my...fantasies...are always about...men. But, I've always been too afraid to ever...act...on them."

            "Whew!" was West's comment as he shook his head, still mystified.

            Robinson said, "You can't live your whole life around fear!"

            Ruefully, Smith countered, "Apparently, I can." Then, he shook his head, and added in a more normal tone, "Obviously, you're going to tell your dear wife about this, Professor, since you said that you and she had wondered, but please, both of you, don't tell any of this to any of the children."

            "Don't worry!" Robinson hastened.

            "No way!" West seconded.

            Smith thought for a moment, and then added wistfully, "Besides, even if I am...as you say...missing something...it's too late now, anyway." He eyed them both meaningfully. His implication was clear: there was no one here for him now, anyway.

            In the middle of the night, Smith awakened suddenly to feel a presence...actually, two presences: one on each side of him, and quite close. He gasped.

            "It's all right," Robinson soothed from his left.

            "You're safe," West consoled him from the right.

            Robinson whispered, "You are missing something. And you said that your fantasies were always about men. Do you want to try it?"

            The meaning sank in, and Smith gasped again. "Your wife...."

            "She wouldn't mind. You're not another woman," Robinson explained softly.

            A hand touched Smith from his right, and he gasped louder.

            "Shh, we won't hurt you," West said comfortingly, as he explored. "Don't be afraid."

            Tremblingly, Smith asked, "When...did you two...plan this???"

            "While you were asleep," Robinson explained, and then he silenced him...gently.

            As their manipulations raised his ardor, Smith offered breathlessly, "Want to hear a secret?"

            "Sure," Robinson invited. "Tell it."

            "I love you two."

            There was a brief pause in activity as they pondered his words. Then they resumed.

            Smith continued, amid gasps of passion, "I've loved you...nearly as long as I've...known you. When I told you my...fantasies are always about men, they are...always about you two."

            West suggested slowly, "Then..., you must love it when we tease you."

            "Yes!" He had become breathless. "I love it when you dominate me! When you...take charge! And even though I...fear you as much as I say, there is a...thrill connected to it!"

            "Why you little devil!" concluded Robinson. "So..., you might actually...like it...if we clobber you a bit."

            Anxiety returned in his voice. "Just a little! Please, not bad! I really am fragile! But...yes."

            West gave a diabolical laugh. "Sounds like we might have to get...just a bit...rough with you soon!"

            Maybe it was only a coincidence that Smith reached climax at that exact moment. Maybe not.

            As his passion cooled and he calmed, Smith murmured, "Uh oh." He could see Robinson's and West's grins in the dark, thanks to the firelight. "Did...I...really...admit...?"

            "You really did." Robinson's grin could be heard as well as seen.

            "Uh oh. Uh oh!"

            West's grin was just as broad, and just as audible. "Passion as truth serum. I wonder what else we could get you to confess to? On another night, perhaps."

            "Please...be...careful...with...me...!"

            West laughed. "You know what they say: 'it hurts so good!' You'll soon know! You're going to get it!"

            "No! No!!"

            Robinson contradicted. "Uh uh, too late! Too late to back out. You can't deny it now. We have a new way to thrill you. And we're going to use it!"

            "Uh oh!!!" he whimpered.

            West laughed again. "You're loving it!"

            "How bad are you going to hurt me??!"

            "We'll let that be a surprise!"

            Robinson playfully traced Smith's jaw with one finger. "This explains a lot. This is why you always caused so much trouble. You wanted to get our attention. Well, you certainly got it!"

            Smith shivered at the tickling sensation, and gasped unsteadily at his words.

            The next day, Smith's panicky panting was at full force as Robinson and West surrounded him. They were playing, teasing, and pretending, but his out-of-control fear seemed real.

            At length, so were their blows. Feather-light, but genuine.

            As Smith sat on the ground, gasping and doubled-over, Robinson groaned slightly as West said, "How about that? You're no longer a fight-virgin...or any other kind, either."

            After Smith had calmed and they had soothed him, he told them wistfully, "Now I hate to have to go back to the others."

            West smiled gently. "And to think, you didn't want to come with us on this jaunt."

            "That's because I was afraid of you. I was afraid of being alone with you, without the others to talk you out of getting rough with me. I never dreamed that my fantasies about you two could come true. I had never imagined that you could want me. Or that you could...clobber me gently without malice." He turned melancholy. "I don't suppose we'll often have chances to venture out alone like this, just the three of us."

            Robinson answered, "Not real often, no. Occasionally. But usually Will comes with us."

            "I know," he acknowledged without resentment. "And I adore the dear boy. But I know we mustn't let him find out about any of this."

            "No. Nor the others, either. As I said, I wasn't betraying Maureen, but we still mustn't shove this new relationship in the others' faces."

            "Of course not. But I don't know how successful I could be at pretending to still have an adversarial relationship with you two." He eyed them doubtfully.

            Robinson smiled, genuinely pleased. "You don't need to. We can certainly admit to having developed a friendship, a camaraderie."

            Recalling a time when he and Smith had briefly tried to be friends, West smiled, and said, "Right, Zachary?"

            Smith all but glowed. "Yes, Don. And yes, thank you, John."