Vulcanization

"Captain's log, Star Date 7095.7. After an exhausting and altogether too eventful mission on Delfin, we are on our way to Earth for a much-needed shore leave."

"Your performance on the survey expedition that we just completed on the planet Delfin."

"Your highly emotional response to the cave-in only made a difficult situation that much worse."

McCoy sat up straighter in his chair. "Well excuse me for being concerned. You and Jim might have died in there."

Spock looked dubious. "That was hardly likely, Doctor. A cavern that large certainly contained more than enough air to sustain us for the duration that it took the rest of you to phaser us out of it."

"But it took time and careful planning to decide exactly where to aim our phasers, and at what intensity. We didn't want to start another landslide. Besides, I didn't know whether you or Jim had been hit by falling rock when it happened."

Spock conceded that much with a slight tilt of his head and brow. "Perhaps so, but you would have been of more help to Spencek and Spornak in effecting our rescue if you had kept your wits about you."

"By Spornak, I'm sure." McCoy sneered the name. "I suppose that in some ways I've gotten used to having fifty additional Vulcan crewmen aboard, although there are plenty of moments when I wish that we could go back in time and prevent the explosion that killed off our original, mostly human, science department. And blast Starfleet anyway for 'honoring' us with the 'best possible' scientists as replacements! But I'll never get used to Spornak! He picks on me!"

"Professionally, you do. Emotionally," Spock said as he shook his head, "never."

Spock continued, "However, you are correct in your assumption that it was he, and not Spencek, who brought the matter to my attention."

McCoy nodded. "I knew it. Spencek likes me better. He has always been kinder to me. I don't know the specific reason for it, but I'm glad of it."

Spock speculated, "It might possibly be a reactionary response to the extreme anti-human prejudice of his uncle, that makes Spencek rather tolerant of humans and curious about them."

"Please! Don't mention his uncle Spacek! Now there was the nastiest Vulcan that I ever knew!"

"True. His unreasonable intolerance of your species was a violation of everything in which my people believe. Even so, Spornak's request for future moderation in your hysteria is reasonable."

"Okay, frantic! But that's as far as I go! I was definitely not hysterical!" He waved his arms in emphasis.

"As you wish." Spock turned and departed, leaving a flustered, unsatisfied McCoy to fume alone.

Spencek and Spornak entered the ship's gym to see a very happy Sulu and a not-really-unhappy Chekov engaged in the human sport of fencing. The latter two noticed their observers, and lowered their swords.

"I have at last decided to allow him to teach me," Chekov announced, and with a reasonably sincere smile, added, "and it is not too bad."

"It's great," Sulu corrected, grinning his pleasure. "And you're getting the hang of it quite well."

"Possibly somewhat better than you have been 'getting the hang of'...Vulcan combat with the ahn-woon?" Spornak suggested.

Spencek pointed out more diplomatically, "It was our understanding that we were to give you further instruction today."

Spornak replied, "You will need to work much harder with the ahn-woon if you ever wish to achieve the level of mediocrity."

Spencek fetched four of the Vulcan slings. The two Vulcans proceeded to opposite sides of the gym. A disappointed-looking Sulu followed Spencek, and a dejected-looking Chekov trailed Spornak.

Ensign Lisa Hollister sat gloomily at her post in the science department of the Enterprise, and brooded on her undeserved misfortune at being one of only two humans assigned to the otherwise all-Vulcan section. It was extremely difficult to work with such relentlessly demanding, inflexible, unyielding supermen. And intimidating, she thought, cold-hearted and intimidating. She had just had the questionable privilege of witnessing a close-up, multiple demonstration of the nerve pinch, inflicted on several natives of the planet Delfin, during her recent landing-party assignment there. As she gazed around the room at the various Vulcans walking purposefully or working studiously, two of those who had inflicted the painful procedure on the hapless aliens, Spencek and Spornak, newly-returned from their off-duty pursuits, entered her field of vision. She looked at them and shivered in remembrance.

A hand closed on Lisa's shoulder. She shrieked and came nearly out of the chair, and then sat back down abruptly and whirled in horror.

The friendly, innocent hand belonged to Tony Hardesty, the only other human in the department.

All of the Vulcans in the room, including the two new arrivals, looked ruefully at her, in obvious comprehension of her mistaken impression.

Tony looked apologetically at her, instantly realizing his mistake. But she would have to forgive him. He was the only person in the department whom she trusted, and her best friend anywhere on the ship. They had even gone through Starfleet Academy together; but even that had not been the beginning of their friendship. As ten-year-olds, they had been 'business partners,' selling cookies and lemonade to the neighbors in the summertime.

"H and H" they had called themselves then, for Hardesty and Hollister. But lately, Lisa had been mournfully declaring that the "H and H" stood for "Human and Human," since the pair felt so alienated within the department.

Feeling the Vulcans' cool green stare upon her, Lisa struggled to calm her hot reddened panic. She self-consciously fluffed her long blonde hair protectively around her shoulders.

Of course, Spornak did not even have to be telepathic to correctly interpret the gesture. With calculated irony, he informed her, "That would not prove an adequate defense."

Lisa's color deepened again at his having called attention to her fright, although she realized that he could have guessed the reason for her fear from her expression, even if he could not have read her unshielded thoughts.

She commented dryly, "Are you sure that you Vulcans have no sense of humor? Because what masquerades as one is maddening."

Joining the conversation, Spencek responded, "I am sure that no humor was intended. Would you care to test the impenetrability of your hair?" he offered, taking a step toward her.

Lisa's reply was surly, but she stood up and stepped back a pace all the same. "Those of you who don't have emotion sure love to tease those of us who do. You know, among humans, the gesture of putting one's hand on another's shoulder is for comfort and consolation and reassurance. It's disconcerting that you use the same gesture as a threat." She walked out, leaving Tony to shrug self-consciously at the Vulcans.

Lisa strode into the sickbay and poutingly told McCoy, "Those Vulcans get on my nerves!"

Lisa's hand went to her shoulder in immediate comprehension, and she surrendered to the slight humor of his question with a rueful grin.

Leonard McCoy parked his slender frame on the corner of James Kirk's desk. "Hoo boy, am I ever ready for this shore leave! Are you as sick and tired of hearing 'Illogical' and 'Fascinating' as I am?"

McCoy started to chuckle, and almost told Kirk about the pun, but then didn’t bother. “Not only on mine. They’re just about driving half of the crew crazy. You'd think by now that we'd be used to having fifty-one Vulcans on board. But I don't know; maybe there're some things that you just can't get used to."

"We're doing all right. But it's true that a little time on Earth should be the perfect cure."

"Well." McCoy flashed a crooked smile at him. "That's my business, after all: cures."

McCoy frowned. "Now look here, Spock, after the ordeals that we've been through on our last few missions, we could all do with a little R and R, you included."

"That may be so, Doctor, but Earth is not exactly my first choice for shore leave."

Kirk and McCoy exchanged unappreciative expressions, silently communicating that it would even be good to get away from this one for a while.

The two humans ran up the grassy bank in the exhilaration of long-overdue freedom, and sprawled happily side by side in the meadow. The air was fresh; the sky was crystalline blue; and the day was warm for early April.

“I don’t know, Jim.” McCoy pulled a handful of wildflowers and deeply inhaled their fragrance. “I’m not so sure that I want to go back to the ship. Ever.”

“Oh, for the…!” McCoy’s face darkened briefly, and then lit up brighter than ever. “Jim! That’s it!”

McCoy seemed in ecstasy. “Let’s play a huge April Fool joke on those humorless thinking machines! Shake ‘em up a bit! They’ll be natural fools for it; they probably don’t even know about the custom!”

But McCoy was on a roll. “They’ve been getting on our nerves; let us get on theirs for a while; it’ll be fun!”

"Before we beam back up, let's make it a point to talk to all of the other humans who beamed down with us, so that they'll be in on it, too. We’ll all act like Vulcans when we get back to the ship! We'll give 'em a taste of their own medicine! We'll be unemotional, unfriendly, unsmiling, cold, heartless, logical, in other words, annoying as hell!"

"Meanwhile, whenever any of us gets the chance, he must quickly spread the word to all of the other humans on the ship to do the same. We can't risk a general announcement; they'd hear. So it'll have to be gradual, but it shouldn't take too long before we're all in on it."

"Well, it's against my better judgment, but it seems too good to pass up, doesn’t it?"

"And here's the best part! When they get exasperated enough to demand to know what's going on, we'll...," he whispered to his captain.

"Yes, I did, Mr. Spock. Those biological scans that you obtained on Delfin two weeks, three days, and seven hours ago were inaccurate."

"Since returning from Earth, I have had the occasion to peruse them in more detail, and I find that there was insufficient data for you to draw the conclusions that you reached."

"I would have anticipated greater efficiency from an officer of your experience, Mr. Spock, and more careful attention to detail. If you expect me to complete the customary bio-compatibility reports for Starfleet, more thoroughness would be appropriate."

McCoy stood his ground, unruffled. "I fail to see how changing the subject to a discussion of my health can be relevant to this conversation. Such a diversion is illogical."

Spock stopped cold. His brows lost themselves in his hair. "Doctor McCoy, I demand to know what this is all about."

The question for which McCoy was waiting. And not only McCoy. All other humans who were working their calculated efforts on various Vulcans all over the ship awaited this special reward.

Keeping his voice steady with effort, McCoy intoned, "Mr. Spock, I do not believe that such an emotional display on your part is warranted."

"You summoned us?" Sulu asked, deadpan. He and Chekov faced Spencek and Spornak in the gym.

"Again, you did not report on time," Spornak observed. "Is human memory really so poor, or are you frightened of the procedure?"

"Frightened?" Chekov managed to look coldly haughty. "We are disdainful of it. Engaging in such primitive violence is beneath the dignity of evolved beings."

Spornak proposed, "And I suppose that your fencing training does not fall into the same category?"

With effort, Sulu assured him, "Of course it does. We have abandoned it for more cerebral pursuits. As you should."

It was Spencek who asked the magic question, "You will immediately explain your atypical behavior."

It was Sulu who had the privilege of answering, "Your highly emotional reaction is not welcome."

Two offended Vulcans left soon enough to grant two relieved humans privacy for their hysterics.

Lisa Hollister found herself alone with one Vulcan in a small lab off of the main science department, and saw her chance. She was perversely gratified to note that it was another one of those who had brutally nerve-pinched a native on Delfin. She decided that she could use that against him.

"Spivak," she addressed him coolly. "In the future, you Vulcans should carefully research in advance the physiological effects of your nerve pinch on a new species. Your failure to do so endangered the life of one of the Delfin natives."

"There is no 'however' about it. You injured one of them. Or maybe not you personally. It might have been Spornak. Or Spencek. Or any of several others. There were so many of you, pinching natives so liberally that day."

"To do otherwise would be illogical. It is too late to change anything. It is done. And the victim will recover."

The Vulcan blinked at her. "This is not normal human behavior. We are discussing a grave situation."

Lisa thought, Bull’s eye! Aloud, she stoically said, "It is improper for you to have such an emotional response."

Three days and hundreds of ship-wide tortures later, Spock, Spencek, and Spornak entered the bridge with something nearing well-concealed dread. The suddenly peculiar humans were by this time a presence to be barely endured.

As the three Vulcans emerged from the turbolift, a ripple of awareness seemed to pass through the humans.

Kirk in his command seat, McCoy at his side, Sulu and Chekov at their console, and Scott at his station all turned simultaneously to face the three new arrivals.

"April Fool!!!" they chorused loudly, and fell to giggling helplessly with all of the pent-up emotion of three tension-filled days.

The force of the shout nearly knocked the Vulcans physically backward. They watched the totally about-face reaction in stunned amazement.

When Kirk at last managed to get hold of himself, he attempted a halting, marginally-successful explanation, punctuated with guffaws, some of them his own. "We're…we're all right, Spock! We haven't really...turned into Vulcans at all! It was a joke! A practical joke! It's a custom! A human custom! On the first of April! We really had you going!" His slight control broke, and he dissolved into near-tears.

McCoy took over, "It was great, Spock! You should've seen your face! I loved it!" He collapsed onto Kirk's chair-arm.

Sulu contributed, "You were terrific, Spencek! When you raised your eyebrows at me...!" He lost it, and gave up trying to talk, laughing helplessly instead.

The three Vulcans watched silently, and waited patiently as the hilarity died down gradually.

Kirk stared, suddenly sober, unable to believe what he knew that he'd heard. "Spock! Can't you take a joke?"

McCoy's blue eyes pierced the first officer accusingly. "Are you threatening us?!"

Spock straightened. "Threatening? Not at all, Doctor. I am simply cautioning you that there will be unfortunate repercussions."

Spock clarified, "In response to your aberrant behavior, I sent a distress call to the planet Vulcan, and to the new starship Intrepid."

McCoy paled. "Manned exclusively by Vulcans. Just like the old, destroyed Intrepid."

"Quite correct, Doctor. I informed them that either all of the humans on board had fallen prey to an unknown malady, or all of you had been taken over somehow by alien forces. I have since ruled out the former, after having taken careful tricorder readings, thus leaving the latter. I so informed the Intrepid and Vulcan."

"The Intrepid is already on approach. I do not suggest that you resist them. They have orders to destroy this ship at the first sign of hostility."

"They will order us to accompany them to Vulcan, where one thousand eighty-six Vulcans from the planet and from the Intrepid will beam aboard to handle the situation."

Spock stated matter-of-factly, "That's assuming three hundred seventy-nine humans aboard the Enterprise; they're sending enough Vulcans for there to be three of us for each one of you, and allowing for the fact that there are already fifty-one of us here now."

"Yes, Doctor." Spock explained, "The intention is that you will each be mind-probed by a group of three Vulcans in order to determine the cause of the affliction, and to provide a remedy, if possible."

Kirk's own head reeled. "Spock, surely we can just hail them. And explain this whole thing."

The shake of Spock's head dashed Kirk's hopes. "I instructed them to ignore any further transmissions from this ship, not knowing how much farther the infestation would spread. They will disregard your explanation."

"Oh god." Kirk's suddenly-heavy head leaned on his hand. "Then there's no hope of getting out of this."

"Captain." Scott spoke with infinite reluctance, "I'm picking up a ship, coming into scanning range. It's the Intrepid, sir."

McCoy trembled, out of control. His helpless shuddering made his muscles spasm and his bones ache.

Three Vulcans stood in front of him: Spock directly before him, Spencek to his right, and Spornak to his left. Each raised a hand with spread fingers, to reach toward McCoy's head.

"B...b...b...but you don't have to! You already know that there's nothing wrong with me! With any of us! You have nothing to eradicate! Look, I'm being emotional, see?! There's no alien control! We weren't being influenced!"

"Spock! Don't! Please! Stop it! You're scaring me!" The first tickle of probing brushed his mind. McCoy screamed.

Spock leaned his face quite close to McCoy's, and said, "April Fool." The Vulcan allowed himself to smile.

An uncomfortable, preoccupied McCoy walked down the corridor. His discomfort increased upon sight of Spock, approaching from the opposite direction. The memory of the previous day's fear and humiliation at the hands of this and other Vulcans still burned painfully in his mind. He blushed unwillingly.

Spock tried to pretend that he was not amused. He was not entirely successful, which did nothing to soothe McCoy's jangled nerves or smashed dignity.

But there was more at work on McCoy's tormented thoughts than the unpleasant events of the day before, and he gave Spock a wide berth as he passed him, not wishing to get too close.

Spock regarded him quizzically, sensing that there was more to the doctor's evasiveness than an April Fool joke, however effective it had been.

McCoy saw Spock's puzzlement, but decided that the Vulcan would not understand why the human was still shaken from a nightmare that he'd had the night before, and so McCoy went on past him without explanation and into the turbolift.

The sight of Spock in the hallway, however, had unleashed a flood of painful memories of his bad dream. With astonishing clarity, the horrifying visions came rushing back at him. McCoy knew why he'd had the nightmare. It had been triggered by the traumatic, psychic horror of hearing Spock really say, "You will regret this." The unreasoning dread caused by the apparent evil in that misunderstood sentence, a dread which had lingered only a moment in reality before Spock's explanation had dispelled it, had been thrust dangerously into McCoy's subconscious, and had festered there, heedless of the milder outcome which had truly followed. And then it had pounced on McCoy in his sleep.

He leaned against the turbolift wall as he relived the terror of that diabolical nightmare….

Without another word, Spock, Spencek, and Spornak went below to inform the other Vulcans that the humans' erratic behavior had been nothing more than a joke, and that the humans must be punished. Like two armed camps, the humans remained in the upper levels of the ship while the Vulcans inhabited the lower levels. Just as their primitive, superstitious ancestors of centuries before had feared the depths of hell, the humans were afraid to go below; Satan's look-alikes lurked there, waiting for their helpless human victims. And then, as can happen only in a nightmare, McCoy was propelled below-decks involuntarily. Not by any person. Just by the dream itself. Spock, Spencek, and Spornak were suddenly before him: Spock directly in front, Spencek on the right, and Spornak on the left. Each raised a hand toward him.

Spornak's reaching hand descended to McCoy's left shoulder and gripped it in the nerve-pinch position.

McCoy looked frantically from it to Spornak's face. "Get it over with!" he pleaded raggedly.

Spencek's grasping hand took hold of McCoy's right shoulder and poised there in position.

McCoy's head leaned back against the wall. "Oh no! Well, what're you waiting for?!"

Spock's expression transformed into a smirk. "Interesting that you should use the word 'kill'." His hand slipped around to the back of McCoy's neck and found the delicate spot on the bone where the pressure of one strong Vulcan finger would snap it instantly, in the technique known as tal-shaya.

Simultaneously, all three leering Vulcans pinched or pressed their various points of attack, and McCoy found himself lying on the floor at their feet, with neck broken and shoulders bruised, and yet somehow, impossibly, alive and conscious. He moaned in agony.

And now he almost screamed again as the turbolift doors snapped open in front of him. He caught himself just in time, and nearly stumbled onto the bridge.

Tormented and distracted, McCoy fumbled his way through the rest of his day, as well. Until at last it was bedtime. He didn't know whether to be glad or sorry. On the one hand, it offered oblivion from the foibles of the day. On the other hand, it offered the undesirable prospects of further wicked nocturnal adventures. But McCoy was exhausted from emotional strain and had to chance it. He drifted off to sleep.

As McCoy's mind floated away from reality, a fleet of starships sailed into his sight. How majestic they were! Then McCoy looked closer. The ships assumed a definite "V" formation. He looked even closer. The name on the lead ship, front and center of the grouping, read, "Intrepid." He looked still closer. The faces inside of the ships were Vulcan. All of them. Every one.

The fleet whose very pattern in space proudly announced its origin and species, hovered suddenly over a planet. Earth. McCoy recognized its continents and oceans clearly.

The Vulcan ships fired upon it. The phaser-barrage continued unmercifully until the tortured planet burned in space.

The derelict hung alone in space, like an ugly, clumsily-assembled child's toy. And just as lifeless. But Kirk had to take a look. He assembled a team consisting mostly of members of the security department, and he included McCoy, in case they'd been wrong about survivors. For his part, McCoy welcomed it. He needed a diversion. He'd become almost obsessed by the nightmare about the ships whose very formation brashly proclaimed "V" for Vulcan, since he'd now had the horrible dream for three nights straight. And he was frankly joyful at being part of any mission on which there happened to be no Vulcans.

The inside of the derelict was dark and dismal, and as quiet as a tomb. But no bodies were in evidence, living or dead. They had beamed directly to the bridge, where Kirk immediately became interested in seeking records of some kind, to learn about the ship's former inhabitants, its purpose, and its fate. All of the humans had the unexplainable but irresistible feeling that that fate had taken its toll a very long time before their boarding. If there were records, they were well concealed, or so totally alien in nature as to be unrecognizable as such. Realizing that his research would take a while, Kirk sent the security teams on to search the rest of the ship. McCoy remained with Kirk, after carefully reminding the men to call him at once if any survivors were found.

"I don't know. I can't even tell if it's something that should be read directly, like a book, or inserted into some kind of mechanism, for scanning."

McCoy nodded. “Those peculiar symbols there could be telling us what happened to the ship, or they could simply be saying, ‘Insert this side up’.”

Kirk glanced around, and said, “Well, I don’t see anything obvious to insert it into, do you?”

“No, but this whole place is so weird that I’m not sure that I’d recognize a viewer if it bit me.”

Kirk decided, “We’ll have to beam back over and let Spock take a look at it.”

McCoy grunted. "Just once, I'd like us to be able to do something on our own, without him and the others."

A muffled explosion from somewhere below-decks cancelled any reply that Kirk might have made. And although the blast was well-muted on the bridge, the very air around them rippled, like a subtle shift in position.

Spock entered the briefing room of the new Intrepid, and was greeted by the Commander-of- Armed-Forces of the Vulcan strike force. The other looked Spock over approvingly.

"Your first assignment will be the defeat, and, if necessary, the destruction of your former ship, the Enterprise."

"True. The crewmen of that ship have always worked uncannily well together. Their impressive rapport will be somewhat damaged by your absence, although we cannot count on it being completely destroyed by that. Therefore, we must take additional measures to insure success. We must behead the Enterprise by removing its captain, and, if possible, his other chief advisor: the doctor."

Spock nodded. "I will abduct them both and bring them here to you. It will be easily done. At this moment, they will still trust me, as Earth knows nothing yet of our plan."

A badly frustrated Kirk propelled himself onto the Enterprise bridge with a confused, worried McCoy dogging his heels.

Kirk startled Scott, who was placidly seated in the command chair. "What is going on here? Why did Spock leave his post in the transporter room? He was supposed to stay there in case we got into trouble. Well we had trouble a-plenty! Now where is he?"

Scott was as confused as the two new arrivals. "Why, I thought that you knew, sir. Mr. Spock was beamed aboard the Intrepid under sealed orders from Starfleet a little while ago. I dunno why, but…."

Kirk gave up that route as hopeless. "Well the fact remains, Scotty, that the derelict suffered some kind of explosion while we were over there. And after that, we were unable to contact our security detachment."

McCoy interrupted, "They were probably injured in the explosion! But we couldn't pick up their readings on our tricorders. So we called the transporter room to ask Spock to scan for them, and he wasn't there!"

Kirk took over, "Kyle answered instead. He said that there were no lifeform readings but ours, and that he could barely even register ours. So he locked on and beamed us out while he still could."

"You've got to do something!" McCoy insisted vehemently. "Those men need our help!"

Kirk chanced to look at McCoy. As he did so, his eyes swept past the turbolift doors, and then did a double-take back to them. "What...?"

Then Kirk and McCoy looked at each other, wondering if yet another elaborate April Fool joke was in progress.

Upon his return to the Enterprise, Spock did not proceed to the bridge, but instead went directly to his quarters, from which he called the bridge. "Captain? May I see you and the doctor privately in my quarters? I have something rather extraordinary to tell you."

"We'll be right there." Kirk thumbed the switch off and muttered, "I have something rather extraordinary to tell you, too, like how I am very thoroughly…."

"Jim," McCoy interrupted him. "If he had sealed orders from Starfleet, it's not his fault."

Kirk lowered his volume, but kept on muttering as they passed through the blue doors.

"Look, Jim." McCoy kept trying. "Spock was obviously following orders from higher-up. But if you want to be upset, we have worse things to be upset about. Like those security men who are probably dead by now."

The lift doors opened. The two continued on to Spock's cabin, where Kirk rang for entry.

Kirk began diplomatically, "I understand that you were on the Intrepid on official business."

Kirk frowned. "Spock, what's wrong? If you're still annoyed about April Fool, I thought that we…."

Kirk and McCoy exchanged a glance. Something peculiar was definitely afoot here.

"Captain, I have been promoted to captain of the Intrepid," Spock declared suddenly.

If that was not literally the last thing that Kirk had expected to hear, it was definitely a runner-up. At least it explained Spock's awkwardness: he had been reluctant to tell his friends that he was leaving. Kirk tried to be gracious about it, and to avoid displaying the chasm of loss that he was beginning to feel opening within him. "Well, I'm...happy for you. I'll miss you…."

"It has been decided, for complex reasons, that Vulcan must conquer Earth," he announced with a sidelong look at the two humans.

Spock continued, "There is a fleet of Vulcan ships preparing to attack Earth and all human ships. You will find the Enterprise and the Intrepid at odds. That is the assignment that I have drawn."

Kirk's jaw worked ineffectually, and then he managed, "You would do this to us?! After….”

Kirk shook his head, realizing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with that question. He tried a different approach. "You and I? Go against each other in battle? We'll be dangerous adversaries; we know each other too well."

"I know that, Jim." Spock looked regretful, and raised a consoling hand toward Kirk's shoulder.

It was only at the last moment that Kirk remembered that it was not typical of Vulcans, even Spock, to offer consoling gestures. And by then it was far too late.

McCoy bolted for the door. Spock gave chase, caught the human by the wrist, and spun him to face him. McCoy shrieked as he was caught, and backed into the wall. Spock reached to pinch him. McCoy grabbed Spock's wrist with both hands, but couldn't hold back the attack. The human was still hanging on and yelling as he was pinched. The pinch shut off the sound like the slamming of a door.

Kirk awoke to the sound of McCoy's loud, "Ouch! Damnit!" Kirk sat up to the tune of McCoy's grumbled, "I don't care what they say; Vulcans have a cruel, sadistic streak a meter wide! And I wish that they'd find a new part of the body to victimize!" He rubbed his sore shoulder.

Kirk shook his head meaningfully. "He couldn't. Not if we were still on the Enterprise."

"Then where...?" McCoy's voice faded to a hushed horror. "The Intrepid?! Oh god no!"

"Oh lord deliver me!" McCoy intoned. "Let me get this straight: you and I are the only humans on a shipload of Vulcans?! Vulcans who are about to attack the Enterprise?! This has got to be a bloody nightmare! My worst one yet!"

"Yeah, too much! That doesn't mean that I want to face that character again, Jim!" He smiled wanly.

Kirk hastened to add, "Well at least there's no blatant evil in evidence here among the humans on the Enterprise bridge. So it's definitely not the 'Mirror' universe."

"No. But it's not our universe, either. So how shall we play it? Dare we interfere? If we get the chance, I mean."

"We did with the Halcans, in the 'Mirror' universe. We kept them from being destroyed."

"Yes, but then we only had to buck Starfleet Command. Good night, Jim! This time it's Vulcan!"

McCoy was sheepish. "Yeah, I...really did say that, didn't I? Well, I guess that it's always been in the back of every human’s mind that if the Vulcans ever turned nasty, they'd be nightmarish enemies. You and I are living that nightmare, Jim."

Kirk had a sudden thought. "I wonder if the Vulcans here have any of the same past memories of you and me as our Vulcans at home. Because, remember, they hadn't had the April Fool joke."

"You might be able to get through to Spencek, if you get to see him. You and he had several good moments in the past, Bones."

"Our relationship wasn't that good!" McCoy protested. "Not good enough to make him help us!"

"I'll try, but it's hopeless! He was just kinder to me than the others, not friendly in the objective sense. Not compared to humans. He was just the least of the evils." That thought reminded him of Spock. "Jim, why do you suppose that Spock brought us here with him?"

"Because he thought of us as a threat." Kirk cocked his head at him. "That should make you feel good."

"What?? The two of us? Humans? Are going to be a threat to all of these Vulcans??" McCoy muttered to himself, "Bad enough that I'm in the brig, but that I have to be in here with a crazy man."

Kirk ignored him. "We've got to sabotage the engines. We must get to engineering."

McCoy looked around him. "In case you hadn't noticed, there's no guard in here."

Kirk was not so easily foiled. "They'll have to feed us. Sooner or later. When the guard comes in, we'll make a ruckus."

McCoy leaned forward. "A ruckus? What're you going to do, complain about the food?!"

"But with a new wrinkle! Vulcans are vegetarians, remember? You think that they'll serve us meat?"

"All that'll get you, is that Spock'll come down here and chew us out. We'll be the meat!"

"We'll discuss meat in explicit terms and horrify the guard. One’ll distract him that way, and the other one’ll jump him. Which role do you want?"

"That's twice now that you've called me that. Would you rather just sit in here?"

"Oh all right!" McCoy relented. "I'll distract him. You jump him. But whatever you do, make sure that you get him in time." He rubbed his shoulder again. "One pinch per day is more than enough."

Kirk was pensive. "We may get worse than that before this day is over." Then he saw McCoy's expression. "Sorry, Bones, we'll do the best that we can." He sought to lighten the mood. "Actually, I don't want you nerve-pinched again, either. I don't want to have to carry you."

"You're all heart." He resumed massaging his shoulder. "Well, mine probably hurt worse than yours; I was foolish enough to fight him."

Kirk's eyes popped in astonishment and more than slight humor. "I'm sorry that I missed that!"

McCoy examined the tray, steeled himself, and loudly announced, "Vegetables?? Fruits?? I want meat! Food fit for an Earthman! I want juicy, runny meat! I want it to flow bloody red! Or excuse me, in your case, bloody green!"

McCoy backed up, but kept on talking. "I want the slippery, smooth, gooey texture of rare...or better yet, raw…."

Kirk brought a double fist into his kidney. The Vulcan bent at the waist. Kirk brought his knee up into his opponent's stomach from the side. The enemy bent double. Kirk presented an encore of his clasped fists, this time into the middle of the adversary's upper back. The Vulcan hit the floor.

Kirk and McCoy stepped cautiously out of their cell, anxiously peering left and right. No pointed-eared apparition greeted them.

McCoy turned to Kirk. "We can't just go roaming through the ship." He tugged at his own rounded ear.

Kirk nodded. "And then there's our pink skin." He looked closer at McCoy. "And your blue eyes."

"That's right, blame me. At least my hair color is more like it than yours." He saw that Kirk's attention was no longer on him.

Kirk's eyes had been drawn to the nearby grill that opened into a ventilation duct. He went to it, pulled the grill open, and stuck his head inside of it.

"You've got to be kidding!" came his companion's indignant reply from without it.

Kirk withdrew his head and looked at him. "Would you like to stay out here and wait to be nerve-pinched?"

"You always did know what to say to charm me," was the sarcastic response. "All right, I'm right behind you."

The tunnels, of course, were not lighted. The faint illumination which had filtered in from the passageway outside of the brig rapidly dissipated. Occasional grills that they passed shed feeble light from the various corridors into which they were set, but in general, the two humans crawled through darkness.

"What are you complaining about? I have to lead. Have you ever tried to find engineering through a crawl shaft? With a nervous friend behind you?"

Kirk's strained whisper came back, "Keep your voice down! Remember Vulcan hearing!"

McCoy whispered obediently, “Jim, do you have any idea of what they’ll do if they catch us in here?”

"Uh, Bones?" Kirk spoke in his normal tone of voice. "We're not going to make it to engineering."

"Uh, nothing personal." Kirk tried his most charming smile. It was wasted on a Vulcan.

Spivak's attention fixed on him. "Would you like to tell me again about meat, human?"

McCoy attempted light-heartedness. "No, not particularly. I don't suppose that you and I will ever be dinner companions."

Spivak turned to Kirk. "Would you care for a rematch?" He advanced slowly, ominously.

Kirk's pride fought with his common sense. He refused to back away, despite McCoy's tugs on him, but he knew better than to provoke an alerted, prepared Vulcan. He compromised, "I'll concede the next round and the entire match to you. You've no need to prove anything. We surrender."

Spivak nodded. "A wise move." He touched a button on the intercom panel on the wall. "Captain Spock? Spivak here. I have them."

Instantly, Vulcans began converging on them from two separate directions: Spock, Sarek, Spencek, and Spornak.

Alarmed, McCoy mumbled to Kirk, "If they're trying to intimidate me, this is definitely the way." He backed up carefully against the wall.

Kirk knew what McCoy was trying to defend himself against, and understood, but he wished that the doctor would not be quite so obvious about it.

Spock understood, too. "We will have no need to nerve-pinch you, Doctor, if you will behave yourself."

For Kirk's part, he was trying to look resigned for the moment, but still determined. He hoped that he was succeeding. Having already failed, on the Enterprise, to make any progress with Spock, Kirk turned his attention to Sarek. "How can you be part of this, Ambassador?"

Sarek replied easily, "That is no longer my correct title. I am now Commander-Of-Armed-Forces. And I shall soon take you to our Commander-In-Chief."

Kirk looked away from him, and to Spencek and Spornak. "I outrank you two. And by Starfleet assignment, I am your captain. And I order you to help us."

Spencek answered smoothly, "We now respond only to the orders of our own planetary government. Your Starfleet rank is irrelevant."

Kirk glanced at Spivak and looked away again. That attempt would definitely be useless. He faced his former first officer with an edge of bitterness. "Well, Spock, you've won. For now."

Spock nodded acknowledgment of both the surrender and its impermanent nature. "I know that you are one to be watched very carefully." He added almost conversationally, "And I am not surprised to see you out of your cell."

But Spock disparaged, "However, I understand that you employed a rather vivid approach in overcoming the guard." He glanced at Spivak. "A bit crude, don't you think?"

"Indeed." Spock turned to McCoy. "However, Doctor, you will not find meat such as you described, or of any other nature, anywhere on this ship."

McCoy shrugged self-consciously. "I...I don't really care. I was just following orders." He glanced at Kirk.

That hurt McCoy, so he forced bravura himself. "Besides, I really do prefer mine well-done, anyway."

"In any case." Spock straightened. "Spivak, I must ask you to prolong your contact with these so-called savages."

On the bridge of the Intrepid, Kirk and McCoy stood together, flanked by Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak. Kirk chafed at the obvious lack of opportunity to go on the offensive.

"Not at this time, Spivak," Spock replied. "Nor do I wish for Spencek and Spornak to return to helm and navigation as of yet. For now, you will simply guard our prisoners."

Kirk and McCoy exchanged a meaningful look which communicated: Science station? Then Spivak was obviously a great deal more than just a guard.

But aloud, Kirk said, "What's the matter, Spock? Afraid that we'll cause trouble?"

Spock shook his head. "No, Jim. But I am afraid that you'll get hurt attempting to cause it."

Spock said to them, "And now, the two of you will have the privilege of witnessing our battle with the Enterprise."

Spock proceeded to his command seat. Sarek stood next to the railing near the helm. Kirk and McCoy and their three keepers formed a cluster behind the rail in front of the communications station.

Kirk's ship appeared there in all of her majesty. His heart jumped, and he felt a lump beginning in his throat. He attempted to clear it, then softly said, "Spock. Surely you don't mean to destroy her."

Spock looked around at him. "Not if we can avoid it. We would prefer the ship in our possession and the humans under our control. But if we cannot have that…." He left the thought unfinished. He faced forward once again and instructed, "Arm phasers."

"Aim carefully. I want to disable her. Go for the engines, weapons, and shields."

Kirk retorted bitterly, "I'd expect that to be all that a Vulcan would think about, but I care about my ship, too!"

Kirk was desperate. "At least give them a chance! They don't even know that there is a war!"

Spock raised a brow. "Warn them? And thereby create a longer, bloodier battle? Illogical."

“Not precisely. It is a takeover: as quick, as painless, and as merciful as possible.”

“If you had any mercy,” Kirk proclaimed with hate, "you wouldn't force me to watch you hurt my ship!"

The human captain made a desperate lunge at the helm, so suddenly that he slipped through his carefully constructed guard. Spock rose from his command seat, but Sarek was faster. He reached Kirk as Kirk reached the helm. Sarek got Kirk by the left shoulder and pinched hard. With a painful out-gushing groan, the human collapsed at his feet. No damage at the helm had been done.

Spock looked a challenge at McCoy. But the human doctor was frozen with horror over the fates of the Enterprise and Kirk, and unmoving.

Kirk moaned and stirred and opened his eyes. He looked up into the worried face of McCoy bending over him. Kirk was still on the floor, McCoy kneeling next to him, but he'd been deposited back near communications where he'd started. He winced and rubbed his twice-bruised shoulder, and McCoy helped him to sit up slowly.

Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak were paying less attention to the two humans. Their eyes were drawn to the viewscreen, where a frustrated, tired, fed-up, end-of-his-rope Montgomery Scott was displayed.

Kirk grabbed the railing and pulled himself up to peer over it. "Scotty!" he shouted. "Destroy this ship!"

"Close communications," Spock ordered. He then told Kirk, "He is welcome to try." Spock addressed the helm, "Ready photon torpedoes."

Kirk called to him, "Spock! Stop it! Those people are your shipmates and your friends!"

The same group which had previously ridden the turbolift to the bridge now rode back down on it. Kirk's eyes were downcast. He was greatly subdued after witnessing the death of his own ship.

That got McCoy. "Alone?! Nothing doing! I wouldn't separate from you for anything!” He glanced at the Vulcans. “Not voluntarily, that is.”

Kirk had a question. “Mr. Ambassador. I mean, Commander-Of-Armed-Forces," he stressed with a nasty tone. "If your people have a whole fleet of ships out against us, why are you personally here on this one? Merely because your son is here?"

"Not at all. Because this is the flagship of our fleet. It therefore also carries our Commander-In-Chief, to whom we are now taking you."

Kirk and McCoy exchanged a look that said that here was more evidence that they were not in their own universe.

The turbolift let them out at the guest quarters, where they immediately proceeded to the best suite on the ship. Sarek rang for entry and was answered. They entered. Vulcan heat and redness of light and strangeness of artifacts assailed them. One lone figure stood patiently in the center of the room.

Kirk could hardly take his eyes off of the apparition, but he delivered a quick glance at McCoy. "Oh, that's right; you weren't with Spock and me when we fought four evil figures from history, with Lincoln and Surak at our sides."

"Well, I met Lincoln on the ship, and now that I think about it, I remember you referring to a Surak whom you'd met on the planet. You mean that's him?!"

Spock was startled. "Not at all, Doctor. Surak lived thousands of years ago. But we have never allowed him to die."

Sarek explained, "We have kept him in stasis all of these many centuries. And once every hundred years or so, we take him out to live among us for a few months, to judge for himself that we are on the right course, following our proper destiny."

Kirk accused Surak, "And you, the great peacemaker, condone this?! The attack on my ship, and on my planet?!"

Kirk broke in with an edge of bitterness, "You needn't call me Captain any longer; I'm captain of nothing. My ship is gone. By their hands." He launched a poisonous look over his shoulder at the other Vulcans.

Unperturbed, Surak continued, "As you wish. At any rate, Kirk, as Sarek said, I am taken out regularly to insure that all is well and that our society is still on the right track. It is considered that I, with thousands of years of experience, have the perspective to judge. And I judge that all is not well this time. It is the first time that I have ever had to make such a pronouncement. And the problem is with you Earth-humans."

Surak proceeded, "I am credited by my people with having a certain clairvoyance in addition to my historical perspective and wisdom, a certain ability to see fairly clearly into the future. My ability has been amplified during this, my most recent emergence, by an invention, a device created by one of this time's most gifted Vulcan scientists: one Professor Spacek of the Vulcan Science Academy."

Kirk remembered that McCoy had had a run-in with Spacek once before, and that Spacek had been cruel to McCoy, and had performed a destructive mind probe on him. Kirk put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Steady, Bones. Easy." He turned back to Surak. "Go on, please."

Surak continued as if there'd been no interruption, "Now with this mechanism, I can scan the future with fair accuracy, and what I find is highly disturbing. Earth-humans, if left to themselves, are soon going to commit a series of tragic errors that will trigger a galactic war. Your people, at least certain individuals among you, will bring down the fury of several empires upon the Federation. We will be attacked by the Romulans, the Klingons, and at least one other: a thus-far-unknown tyrant, whose involvement will also be triggered; I believe that they call themselves Cardassians. The war will end with the entire Federation: Vulcan, Earth, Tellar, Andor, and the rest, being completely conquered and subjugated by those fearsome powers. They will then dominate us for centuries, centuries that will include countless slaughters, tortures, and sadisms."

"Well then have you at least tried informing the proper Earth authorities of the danger? To warn them? To try to keep them from making the mistakes?"

Spock answered that one, "Humans do not believe in 'Vulcan mysticism'." His disdain of human skepticism was clear.

Sarek added, "Besides, we could not even tell them what specific errors they must avoid. We know only that you 'trigger happy' emotional humans are destined to inadvertently set off a galactic war...unless someone stops you." He looked at Kirk directly, his eyes penetrating Kirk's.

Sarek spread his hands expansively. "We are the ones who know that it must be done. Therefore, it has fallen to us to do it."

Sarek was unruffled. "Tell me Kirk, whom would you rather have rule you: the combined empires of the Romulans, the Klingons, and another as-yet-unknown but ruthless force? Or Vulcan? And one way or the other, you will be ruled."

Spock joined in, "And if your people are allowed to proceed unchecked, you will bring down the wrath of those empires on us as well, and on all of the rest of the Federation."

Surak pointed out, "We find it distasteful to use force against you humans, but we must, for our own preservation as well as yours. You will find us by far the more benevolent masters."

Spornak spoke for the first time. "You humans are irresponsible. You need masters."

Sarek spoke placatingly, "It is true that some of our people have long felt that your people should be under our control. But most of us did not seriously contemplate such an aggression until this present emergency. And most of us still...wish...that we did not have to do so."

Surak went on, "We see no other way. So it is with great reluctance that I have given the order to my people that Vulcan will conquer Earth. Humanity will be our subjects, our slaves. Our rule will be benevolent but firm. We will kill only when we have to; we will avoid it when possible."

The Vulcans exhibited near-amusement at the predictable transparency of the doctor’s anxiety.

McCoy hurried to change the subject. "That reminds me of that old sick joke that if there were ever a war between Vulcan and Earth, what would the battlefield look like? Christmas!” He made a face. "It should've remained just a joke! I never thought that I'd have to live it!”

Spock observed with thinning patience, "I have always considered that particular...joke...to be in exceptionally poor taste."

Kirk had even less patience. "Let's get back to the previous subject: just what are you going to do with us? Are you going to kill us, too?"

Kirk clearly felt like being contrary. "Why? We might prove to be your undoing."

Kirk accused, "Sentimental, Spock? About us? Why couldn't you have been sentimental about Scott and Sulu and Chekov, too?" He was bitter.

Spock was unruffled. "Sentiment has nothing to do with it. We simply do not have to kill you. You will merely be controlled."

McCoy had been watching the two of them, his eyes traveling back and forth between their faces, but at Kirk's last remark he lost patience, and barked at him, "Will you shut up?!"

McCoy shot back, "You're not a captain anymore, remember?! So from one human being to another, stop trying to get us killed!" In a renewed effort to change the subject, he turned in a new direction. "Spencek, please! Surely you can't approve of all of this! Help us!"

The latter was puzzled. "You appear to expect something different from me than from the others. Why?"

Spencek considered that, and then said, "I have, on occasion, attempted to understand you as an experiment, in order to determine my own comprehension skills in regard to other species. If you choose to define that as 'kindness,' then I accept your definition."

Kirk shrugged back, and then turned peevishly back to the Vulcans. "You think that you can control and enslave all of humanity? Humans won't just take it; there will be constant rebellion. Every time you turn around, you'll have a revolt on your hands!"

Surak told him, "We will employ the principle of 'divide and conquer': we will separate humans into Vulcan homes for private enslavement. And many Vulcans will go to Earth to enslave the humans that will remain there. In addition, we will exercise control on an individual basis by using the mind meld to suppress human emotions."

As Surak spoke, the eyes of his two human listeners grew wider and wider, Kirk's with fury, McCoy's with horror.

Sarek took over, "We have long believed that it would only be a matter of time before you humans would embrace our philosophy of non-emotion and logic yourselves, willingly, but we can no longer wait for you to do so on your own."

Spock agreed, "You should make such a decision for yourselves, but since you have not done so yet, and since this crisis is now upon us, we will do it for you."

Spencek pointed out, "And once it is done, there will be no revolt against us. You will see that it would not be logical."

Spornak chose more cruel phraseology. "Your people are overdue to mature. Your infantile emotions show a marked lack of racial adulthood and responsibility."

Spivak concurred, "We have been patient with your childish species. But we can no longer afford to be."

Kirk raged at the Vulcans, "Why you sanctimonious, egotistical, holier-than-thou...!"

Spock watched McCoy and smothered a smile. "The doctor fears that we will use the technique on the two of you right now."

Kirk pulled free of him. "Well, I want to know!" He steeled himself. "What are you going to do with us?"

Surak said, "Since Spock is...friends...with you two, you will be permitted to be slaves in the house of Sarek and Spock."

McCoy muttered miserably, “To be enslaved beneath skies the color of human blood.”

"It is," Sarek stated firmly. "If you were placed in the general slave pool, you could end up being the property of anyone."

Kirk shrugged it off unappreciatively. "That doesn't answer the other part of the question, though, does it?"

Surak said, "You mean, will you be...disemotionalized?" He paused, then said, "Yes. You will be."

At that reminder, something that Surak had said a moment earlier suddenly registered on Kirk, and he turned to him and blurted, "Wait a minute! You said in the home of Sarek and Spock? What about Amanda?!"

Sarek answered before Surak could, "My wife's behavior has been exemplary: she has, with only a small degree of reluctance, yielded to the logic of the situation, and has submitted willingly to the alteration at my hands. It has already been done."

Spock was near amusement. "Yes, you will undoubtedly provide more resistance than most because of your highly emotional personality."

Sarek observed, "But you seem to doubt the feasibility of the procedure. We must provide an example. Bring her." The last part was directed to Spivak, who nodded and left.

"They liberated me from the burden of my emotions, if that is what you mean, Doctor."

Kirk, for his part, had more questions than he could get out at once. "Why...?! How...?! When...?!”

Spencek anticipated his meaning. "We needed someone on whom to experiment. We took her from the Enterprise when we ourselves left. It was easy to take her because you assigned her to work in our department."

Kirk muttered in self-recrimination, "My fault…all my fault...exposed her to you."

McCoy accused, "And she certainly didn't go with you willingly! I know her; she wouldn't have!"

She couldn't have chosen a more unfortunate term. McCoy sputtered wordlessly for a moment, and then demanded, "Can you change her back?!"

Spock shook his head. "Reversing the process would not be possible, even if it were desirable."

Kirk shouted at her, "That means that he's dead! They destroyed it!" He deliberately tried to shock her.

McCoy grabbed Lisa by the upper arms and shook her, and looked like he wanted to shed the tears that she no longer could.

Kirk turned on the Vulcans. "You vicious...! How could you even consider such a thing?!" He advanced on Spock. "What about the Vulcan privacy etiquette; you've violated it all to hell!" he bellowed, heedless of McCoy's alarmed warning tug on his arm.

"You should welcome it, Doctor." Spock turned to him. "Your fear must be a most unpleasant sensation."

Surak told him almost conversationally, "We were much as you, long ago. You must mature as we did."

Spock took a few steps toward him. "You may not resent your fear, Doctor, but I see no reason to prolong it."

Spivak came up on McCoy from behind, and poised his fingers on McCoy's shoulder to threaten a nerve pinch, and thereby make him hold still.

Spivak continued to hold the position while McCoy chafed nervously and Spock continued his approach.

Spock was amused. "This will not truly turn you into a Vulcan, Doctor; it will just get your emotions under control."

Kirk forced his way between Spock and McCoy with his hands defensively up in front of him. "All right! Look! Maybe you do have the right to do this: to your own Kirk and your own McCoy, but not to us! We are from a different universe."

Spock allowed himself to be temporarily interrupted, and cooperatively took a step in retreat so that he might more easily look Kirk full in the face. "Jim, I will admit that I expected you to try something, but this…fabrication…."

McCoy put in plaintively, "Spock! Please!" With his eyes he indicated Spivak's fingers where they still rested on the human's shoulder.

Spock turned back to Kirk. "Allow me to reassure you, Jim: the procedure is painless; all of your feelings of fear and frustration and anguish will vanish: I will remove them ever so gently. And you will find new ways in which to define your humanity; surely you do not consider emotionality to be your only trait. Your blood will still be red; your ears will still be rounded; and your heart will still be more centered in your chest than is ours."

"Spock! Please! We knew that something was wrong while we were still on that derelict. Something...shifted." He snapped his fingers. "That must be when it happened! And we went back to the Enterprise, and you weren't there; you'd been there when we’d left! And none of you remembered the April Fool jokes that we’d played on each other! And the turbolift doors were all blue instead of red…." He paused, realizing how silly he sounded.

With exaggerated patience, Spock informed him, "Jim, the lift doors have always been blue."

"Precisely my point!" Kirk exalted triumphantly. "In our universe, they've always been red! And in our universe, Surak is dead," he declared pointedly in the latter's direction.

McCoy dared to speak, "And in our universe, Spacek is dead." He glanced in Spencek's direction.

Kirk bit his lip. "It's a short list, and they're mostly subtle, I'll admit, but…."

Kirk roared in frustration, "It's true!! What do I have to do to convince you?!”

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all realized the answer to that in the same instant. The only way would be to allow Spock to perform a mind probe on one of them. Which was the very thing that Spock wanted to do. And the very thing that Kirk and McCoy were trying to prevent him from doing. The method was their only hope, and their worst dread.

Kirk realized and went pale. "Oh. There is only one way to convince you, isn't there?"

Kirk forced his way between them again. "No! I'll do it!" He pushed McCoy back a bit.

"I have to, Bones." Then he faced Spock. "Mr. Spock, in our universe you're a man of integrity. I'm going to gamble that you are, here, too. Will you give me your word that you'll only probe to prove the veracity of our claim, and not to alter my mind?"

Spock considered, and then said, "I give you my word that I will begin with that intention in mind, and that if you are telling the truth, I will go no farther, for now. However, if you are lying.…" He raised his brows significantly.

Spock tilted one brow. "If you choose to put it that way, yes." He approached him.

McCoy murmured, "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be the only one." He cast a distraught glance at the mild expression of Lisa Hollister, who had watched the entire scene dispassionately.

McCoy watched the pair for a moment with a painful sadness in his eyes, and then he turned and looked scared at each of the other Vulcans in the room. Presently, he began to fidget. After a while, he began to pace. The Vulcans watched each new stage in his suffering with interest.

Finally, he looked uneasily at them. "It's taking too long...isn't it? What's he doing to him?!"

"You will not be," Sarek assured him. "Not for long. If Kirk is lying, you will be next."

McCoy made an agonized choking sound, and then corrected, "On second thought, I'll settle for being the only one. You could keep me as a...as an emotional pet. Or as an interesting specimen. Or as an historical object lesson." McCoy didn't need a reply. He saw in their eyes how likely it was that they would accept his suggestion.

McCoy rushed to his side and looked searchingly into his face. He whispered tensely, "Jim! Are you all right?!"

McCoy stared at him penetratingly, and then, still unsatisfied and at a loss, he insisted, "Do something emotional!"

The order was so oddly phrased and so startling, that Kirk laughed spontaneously. "What?!"

Sarek agreed, "It is amazing to see how desperate humans are to retain their unpleasant emotions."

Spock admitted reluctantly, "Yes. But unfortunately my belief is not sufficient to return you to where you belong." He addressed Kirk, "You seem to feel, Jim, that if we were to take you back to the derelict, that that would send you home."

"I said, or rather I thought to you, that it would be a start. After that I don't know. The one person who could've helped us you've killed: Scotty. I'd count on him to get us out of any wrong universe." He glanced at McCoy.

Spock held up a restraining finger. "But you will have to face the possibility that it might not work. The effort might even land you in still a different universe altogether."

Kirk squared his shoulders bravely. "We'll be pleased to accept your offer that we can be slaves in your house, and not in that of strangers."

McCoy begged, "But if we have to stay, please promise that you won't tamper with our minds; let us stay normal!"

Surak shook his head. "Not possible. If you stay here, you will have to be readjusted."

"Bones, Bones," Kirk soothed him. "That won't get us anywhere." To Spock, he asked, "When can we try?"

Kirk and McCoy waited nervously on the bridge of the derelict, as the Vulcans prepared to detonate a below-decks explosion by remote control from the Intrepid. The explosive was hoped to duplicate the conditions which had caused the warp in the first place.

To add to his tension, Kirk was wondering uncomfortably if he'd done the right thing in his farewell to this universe's Spock. The last thing that he had said to him had been, "If I never see you again, I'd like you to know that I guess that I understand why you feel that you have to do what you're doing. Make no mistake: I feel sorry for your universe's humans. I sure don't envy them. But, much as I hate to admit it, maybe you are doing what's best for them as well as what's best for the rest of you." Spock had accepted the comments graciously and with admiration for Kirk's insight. But Kirk had left feeling dissatisfied and uneasy with his own words. Intellectually, he meant what he'd said. The Vulcans' logic was inescapable. But emotionally, his whole being rebelled against what these Vulcans were doing to their humans. And Kirk felt vaguely guilty, as if he'd let those humans down in his failure to find a solution for them.

"Five seconds to detonation," Spock's voice snapped Kirk from his reverie. "Farewell, gentlemen. Three. Two. One."

A muffled rumbling was heard and felt underfoot. And seen. Slightly. The air rippled. Something shifted.

Kirk said, "Wherever we are, Bones, I don't believe that we're where we were." He tugged out his communicator.

Kirk flipped open the communicator. "Kirk to Enterprise." He almost stumbled over the last word.

McCoy was excited. "It's the right ship! But how do we know that he's the right Spock?!"

Spock was perplexed. "Captain, as I'm sure that you're aware, Surak died over…."

"I'm sorry that I confused you, Spock." Kirk stepped down from the platform. "I asked those strange questions because we'd been stuck in a parallel universe, and I wanted to make sure that we'd come back to the right home port."

"No. That one was more horrifyingly evil. But this one was more profoundly disturbing."

McCoy shivered. "I sure wouldn't want to live under their rule! I'm glad to be back with our own Vulcans, April Fool notwithstanding."

Kirk and McCoy quickly began to fill Spock in on the basics, including what had been done to Lisa Hollister and presumably also to Amanda, and how close they'd come to facing the same fate themselves.

Kirk finished, "We ended up having to more or less condone their solution as the lesser of two evils, and I'm not really comfortable with that ending."

Kirk and McCoy sat in Kirk's quarters, despondent over the way that they'd had to leave the other universe.

Kirk tried to justify it to himself and to McCoy. "Well, this is not that different from the way that we left the universe of the bearded Spock: I left that Spock convinced that he must take over and change the system, too. And if I know Spock – any Spock! – he'll succeed."

McCoy grudgingly acknowledged, and added, "And if the humans in that most recent universe are truly destined to be as careless and reckless as Surak said, I guess that they had to be put under somebody's control. I just wish…."

"No, but my counterpart does." He shivered. "Maybe it was his nightmares that I was having, as we drew close to the warp." He looked even more uneasy. "Jim, one thing, though. Those colossal mistakes that those Vulcans said that their humans were destined to make: you don't think that we're going to make them, too, do you?"

Kirk squirmed uneasily. "Let's hope that our Vulcans don't think of that, anyway."

"Well, they won't see it coming and they couldn't prove it, because Surak and Spacek are dead. But, uh, I agree with you just the same: here's hoping that our Vulcans don't think of it."

Just then, Spock entered, accepting Kirk's previous invitation to join them in his quarters as soon as he finished prior business.

McCoy covered, saying, "I had a ridiculous urge to be obedient and subservient to you."

"We suspected that something was amiss when they both kept demanding to know why the turbolift doors had been painted red, but that was all."

"Oh. Well our universe didn't give them too many shocks. Pity that I can't say the reverse. You can't imagine what it was like, Spock, having to see a human, a shipmate, that those Vulcans had converted forcibly to non-emotion, particularly one that we've always thought of as especially emotional."

"Hm. I can think of worse fates for humanity than following our Vulcan example."

"All right," Kirk acknowledged, "but as your slaves? By disemotionalizing us by force?"

"I will admit that I find that part of it...distasteful, Jim, but perhaps the Vulcans there simply felt that they had no choice."

Spock eyed him, and added, "But on the other hand, I regret that I did not think of it first."

McCoy asked hesitantly, "Is it really possible to do that, Spock? What the other Spock was going to do to us?"

"In theory, yes. However, we would not presume to…." He broke off as he saw McCoy's stricken look, and evidently realized that the opportunity for teasing was irresistible. Spock's eyes twinkled as he approached McCoy. "On the other hand, Doctor, in your case, it might be worthwhile to…."

McCoy regained his composure, and carefully said, "Well, I certainly hope that you don't plan on spreading this nasty tale to our other fifty Vulcans."

"It would be difficult to keep this to myself, Doctor." A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

Kirk finished for him, "They'll find some unpleasant way in which to take advantage of the information, if only to use it to needle you, Bones."

McCoy had a sudden thought. "Spock, you know all of the Vulcans aboard, don't you?"

McCoy muttered, "Another nerve-pinch-lover! And I thought that Spornak was my own personal devil!" Then he grinned. "Of course, all of you look the part."

Spock countered, "I find it exceedingly ironic that your April Fool joke on us was that you pretended to be stripped of your emotions, and then you very nearly got that personality change forced on you in reality."

"So I guess that we can stop worrying whether they'll decide to play it safe and disemotionalize us. And after all, like you said, they have no proof that we'll be dangerous to have on the loose here." He yawned.

"True. Well, if you don't mind, Jim, I should go check in on my department, see if anything's amiss. And you should get some rest. That mind probe had to be very tiring."

McCoy checked in first at the lab for a while, and then went on to sickbay. Spencek and Spornak were waiting for him there. His pace had been rapid, and their appearance brought him up short, but he did his best not to look concerned.

Spencek began, "We have been thinking about the day that Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock were trapped in the cave, on Delfin."

"I am sure that you recall how emotionally upset you were, during our rescue operations."

"And then I am certain that you remember how unemotional you were, for three days after leaving Earth."

"Perhaps you have not made the connection that the situation at the cave-in would have gone ever so much easier, had you already assumed the personality of the April Fool joke."

McCoy was beginning to see what was coming, and remained by the door, moving no farther into the room. "Make your point."

Spornak took over, "Perhaps there might be a way to disemotionalize you, for future advantage."

"I knew it!" McCoy fumed. "Now you listen here! I just left one insane universe! I'm in no mood for another!"

"You see?" Spornak spoke conversationally to Spencek, "He is indeed in dire need of our calming, mind-melding services."

"But this is serious, Doctor," Spencek said. "How do we know that you humans won't cause a war here?"

McCoy gulped. "I was afraid that you'd think of that. But you have no proof of it, and you can't talk your people into attacking another Federation planet just on a wild hunch from another universe. There were important differences between that universe and this one. Surak was alive! And Spacek...!" He stumbled self-consciously over the name, looking uncomfortably into Spencek's eyes. He rallied, "And so maybe the number and nature of human mistakes will be another major difference!"

"Perhaps." Spornak nodded. "So possibly we should settle for just disemotionalizing humans on this ship, in the interests of greater efficiency, and leave Earth alone. Shall we begin with you?"

"Incidentally, Doctor." Spornak ignored him. "We have someone whom we would like for you to meet."

The door opened behind him. McCoy didn't want to turn his back on Spencek and Spornak, so he threw a quick glance over his shoulder. And saw Spivak. His horrified eyes returned to Spencek and Spornak. Spivak placed a hand on the human's shoulder and left it there.

McCoy reached to try to pull away the unwelcome hand, but then thought better of it.

When the three Vulcans had had enough of tormenting and humiliating McCoy, they decided to proceed to the science department. McCoy guessed that they would see Lisa Hollister as another irresistible target, and followed them discreetly, muttering under his breath at Spock every step of the way.

He told her in detail, and her eyes widened steadily with the telling. He finished, "Perhaps conversion would suit you well; it would render you less jumpy when Ensign Hardesty lays a hand on your shoulder."

Spornak was astonished. He addressed Spencek, "She took that as a threat, instead of the simple question that it was."

Spencek explained, "I have become...rather well accustomed to humans." He gave further proof, saying, "Do not be concerned, Ensign, none of us has a reason to pinch you at this time."

Lisa snapped, "I don't think that I'll turn my back on you three for the rest of the day!”

Spencek countered smoothly, “That would not be a deterrent; we could separate and circle you, or one of us could perform it from in front of you."

Lisa's fear dissolving in her annoyance at their teasing, and her courage strengthened at seeing another human, she challenged them, "Has it occurred to you that tal-shaya is a trifle inconsistent?"

Lisa rolled her eyes and crooned exaggeratedly, "Ooooh! I wouldn't dare say that to them! They might demonstrate the method on me!"

McCoy's eyes grew wide. He changed the subject. “Well, anyway, I came in here to check on Lisa, and make sure that she was all right.”

Lisa grew bolder. "I'm keeping my distance. Like all humans, I know that if a Vulcan reaches for a human's neck, the human is in big trouble! Either way!" She put one protective hand on the back of her neck, and the other where the neck met the shoulder. She quipped, "Do you know that humans fear the nerve pinch so much that when you do it to us, we faint." She waited.

Spock returned to Kirk's quarters after setting Spencek and Spornak on McCoy. He found the Captain lying peacefully on his bed, but with open eyes.

"No, don't go; I'm not sleeping," Kirk raised himself up on one elbow. "Where've you been? No, let me guess: setting McCoy up by having a little talk with Spencek and Spornak. Where are they waiting to ambush him?"

Kirk nodded. "Appropriate. I'll bet you even found Spivak for him and got him in on it, didn't you?"

Kirk sat up and confessed, "Your teasing of Bones aside, I feel terribly guilty leaving those humans in that predicament."

Spock sat down next to him. "Would it have been better to allow them to be conquered by Klingons and Romulans and others?"

McCoy entered in a fury. "Well, Spencek and Spornak are at it already! You didn't waste any time, Spock! And you even had to sic Spivak on me! That was a low blow!" He turned to Kirk explosively. "Do you know what Spivak did to me?!"

McCoy's features relaxed. "You're right; what does it matter if they tease me? We're home."

Well rested and feeling much better, Kirk charged energetically onto the bridge. And did a rapid double take at the blue turbolift door.

"Of course, Captain," Spock agreeably noted, and removed himself from the captain's seat.

Kirk's eyes shot daggers into Spock's back as both proceeded to their customary places on the bridge. He irritably activated a switch on his chair-arm. "Captain's log, Star Date 7096.3. We are in standard orbit around the planet Omicron Delta Five, where we are about to pick up Vulcan Ambassador Sarek and the Lady Amanda following their diplomatic mission there. It was thought that the Enterprise would be an especially good choice to transport them, because on this ship they will function as visiting dignitaries to honor and support the large Vulcan contingent now doing so well on the Enterprise." Kirk carefully deactivated the recording, and added, "Some of the time."

Spock's rapid turn in his seat and raised eyebrows satisfied Kirk's desire for revenge.

Spock helped his parents settle into their comfortable guest quarters. When Amanda inquired politely into any recent interesting missions that Spock might feel free to discuss, Spock yielded to the temptation to tell them about Kirk's and McCoy's recent ordeal in the parallel universe, with emphasis upon Amanda's cooperative conversion to non-emotion. Sarek grew immediately interested, and the two watched Amanda curiously for her reaction. If they expected intimidation, they were to be disappointed. She listened calmly, with none of the symptoms of human alarm.

Sarek teased her, "Perhaps it might be a worthy experiment, after all. Will you volunteer, my wife?"

"Oh, admit it, Sarek! You like me to be emotional! That way you can tease me and spar with me. You Vulcans have your lives too well ordered. You need discord to keep your existence lively. And we humans provide that discord."

She turned her attention to her son. "You, too, Spock! Why do you suppose that you like McCoy so much? Because he argues with you! And he's passionate about it. Your relationship with him bears certain similarities to Sarek's and mine. In each case, it's the human who provides counterpoint to your logic, and it's never dull. If someone had disemotionalized McCoy, you'd feel a terrible loss, Spock."

Amanda stated firmly, "If you'd wanted a Vulcan wife, you'd have chosen one. So why change me into one now?" She looked into Sarek's and Spock's eyes and saw that her statements were true. She laughed musically at her victory, and they gracefully acknowledged their defeat.

The next "day," by ship's reckoning, Spock was conducting Sarek and Amanda on a tour of the areas most typically frequented by Vulcans, a tour which inevitably included the ship's gym. But if Spock had expected to reveal Spencek and Spornak engaged in practice combat with the ahn-woon, with or without human pupils, he was to be amazed by an altogether different, and totally unexpected, sight. Somehow, small, timid, unathletic Ensign Lisa Hollister had been lured into the area, and she was being expertly provoked, not by Spencek, Spornak, or Spivak, who were indeed watching the altercation, but by a Vulcan female, T'Rethe.

The Vulcan was saying, "Why do you not understand that I do you honor? I merely challenge you to practice combat; it will not be to the death."

The human fidgeted and fretted, and cast nervous glances at the men. "Why would you want to fight me?? Because if you're trying to prove Vulcan superiority over human, defeating me will prove nothing; I'm no worthy opponent. Most of my own people could defeat me. If you want to prove something, challenge one of my people who is an athlete, n...not a wimp like me."

All of the Vulcans were shocked, including Sarek, who accused her, "You have no pride?"

Lisa started violently; she had not previously been aware of the three new arrivals by the door. Intimidated worse than ever, she stammered, "Sure, I've got pride. About the things that I'm good at. But fighting's not one of 'em."

"Well, sir," she said stiffly. "Some say that to fear Vulcans is not cowardly; it's sensible."

Spencek, who had up until now, remained quite reticent, incongruously requested, "Ensign, I would like for you to go back to the lab at once, and complete the experiment that we started earlier."

Lisa was grateful for the escape. "Thank you, sir." She departed eagerly, keeping her eyes down, looking at no one.

All of the rest of the occupants in the room turned to regard Spencek in silent bewilderment.

Sarek and Amanda granted Spencek's request for a private audience with them in their quarters.

Sarek greeted the visitor, and then said, “May I express my regrets on the death of your uncle, Spacek.”

Spencek nodded. "I respectfully acknowledge. But that is not why I have asked to speak with you."

Ensign Lisa Hollister trembled, weak-kneed and shivery, outside of the ambassador's quarters. Why would Ambassador Sarek summon her to see him? It was unprecedented. Did he intend to lecture her on her part of the unpleasant scene in the gym? Could she endure such a lecture from a Vulcan, and such a famous and legendary one as he? What if she broke down and cried in front of him? Wouldn't that make his evident disgust at her human frailty all the worse?

Lisa summoned her wits with effort, and reached timidly for the door-chime. The prompt, efficient, commanding "Enter" from within set her insides fluttering anew. She slipped doubtfully inside, struggling to control her jittery, jangling nerves.

And stopped cold, facing not one, but three individuals. Ambassador Sarek, his wife Amanda, and First Officer Spock. What little confidence Lisa had left evaporated, and she stumbled awkwardly on the smooth floor. She caught her balance quickly, but blushed apple-red, and then grew more embarrassed at that.

Lisa's face relaxed in relief, in a soft smile and a quiet sigh. "Hello, Ma'am."

Spock drew her attention back to him. "We have something serious to discuss with you, Ensign."

Reassurance and smile melted away, once again to be replaced by an expression of barely-controlled panic, as Lisa's eyes returned to the two Vulcans. "Yes, sir?"

Sarek turned a perplexed face to Amanda. "Why is it, my wife, that you can always put them instantly at ease, whereas our son and I invariably manage to alarm them?"

Amanda's eyes twinkled and her upward-curving lips threatened to break into a full-toothed smile.

Sarek just shook his head. "No matter." He returned his attention to the scared girl before him. "There is on board this ship a young officer in the science department named Spencek. A Vulcan. I believe that you know him." It was not a question.

But Lisa couldn't help answering, "Yes, sir." She knew full well that the ambassador had seen them exchange brief words during her disgrace in the gym.

"Oh," was all that she said. But she was thinking, Why are they telling me this?

"This means," Sarek continued, "that he is free to select his own wife, since his parents chose not to select one for him. He finds you...interesting. He has asked my wife and me to intercede on his behalf, since his own parents are not here on the ship to fulfill their responsibilities in this matter. This is not quite strictly proper procedure either, of course. By custom, we should be approaching your parents, not you directly, but they also, for obvious reasons, are not available."

Lisa's head reeled. Her heart rate soared. She fell back against the wall for support. He couldn’t be saying what she thought that he was saying! He just couldn’t! Lisa gasped for breath.

Amanda glared at both Vulcans in pretended anger. "I told you that this wasn't the right way to handle it, didn't I? But would you two listen? Oh no!"

Sarek regarded her with what he obviously considered to be long-suffering patience on his part.

Spock was still approaching the terrified human. "Ensign? Do you need assistance?"

Suddenly Lisa knew that her most immediate concern was that she did not want Spock to get any closer, and that it was her reticence that was provoking him to do so. She fought to find her voice. "Why…why...why didn't he...Spencek...talk to me himself...alone...if he...if he...felt...I mean...not felt...I know that you all don't feel...I mean…."

Spock halted where he was and replied, "As my father told you, this procedure follows custom. My parents are assuming the role of Spencek's parents in their absence."

"I...well for one thing…we don't know each other that well...not really…we work together, but...and I don't l...love him." She blushed at the emotional term that she knew that they would view as irrelevant.

"Don't discount it, Sarek." Amanda clearly enjoyed needling him. "I would have said no to you if I hadn't been in love with you."

Sarek drew himself up in Vulcan dignity, and Spock quirked a brow in disdain. Amanda chortled.

"Then your answer is no?" Sarek demanded in disbelief. He obviously could not imagine that any human woman wouldn't feel tremendously honored to be married to a Vulcan.

"Sarek," Amanda interrupted. "Now that you've mishandled it your way, and seen the result, how about letting me take a crack at it? The human way."

At a loss for another means of reaching the apparently irrational human girl, Sarek nodded reluctantly. "Very well. Proceed, my wife."

"Shoo!" Her hands illustrated the word. "Leave us alone! Girl talk!" Amanda's eyes sparkled.

Father and son exchanged looks, and with one more glance at the never-rational portion of their family, they departed.

"Now, sweetheart!" Amanda beamed. "Come sit beside me on the bed." She sat and patted the spot next to her.

Lisa almost collapsed with relief at the Vulcans' absence, and gratefully accepted.

"Why not marry a Vulcan?" Amanda began jovially. "They're endlessly entertaining: look at my two!"

"Seriously, dear." Amanda took her hand. "You really don't know Spencek all that well?"

She shook her head. "We work together. He and a few of the others tease me a lot. I guess because I'm the only human female in the department. And because they know that they can frighten me. Or get my goat! Sometimes my temper flares and I tease back. Whenever they aggravate me enough that my annoyance overcomes my fear. Or my good sense!"

But Lisa was becoming upset again. "So why is he doing this?! Why a human?! And why me?!"

"Oh brother! Great basis for a relationship! And how can he find me interesting anyway? I thought that they disapproved of our emotions?"

"In general. At least they're supposed to. At least that's the official version. But I really believe that some of them find our emotions...intriguing...a curiosity...the forbidden fruit."

Lisa shook her head. "But I don't see how he can even have any respect for me. You know what I mean. You were there.”

“Yes. Well, what happened may have been unfortunate in regard to T'Rethe, which will only matter when you have to work with her. But the outcome was enticing for Spencek; it made him feel protective of you. You saw how he reacted. He gave you an out: an escape."

"Yes, and I appreciated it, but I didn't understand it. He has joined with the others in teasing me before. He has often led the teasing.”

“There’s a big difference between gentle teasing, and what happened to you with T’Rethe. Teasing is one thing, and cruelty is another. And Spencek couldn't tolerate cruelty to you."

Lisa's heart warmed to him unexpectedly. But she reined in her feelings with effort. "That's sweet, but the fact remains that I’m afraid of Vulcans."

"I think that we all have a small degree of that," Amanda said carefully. "We tend to hold Vulcans somewhat in awe, and that can translate to fear under some circumstances. They are alien. They are stronger than we are. They do have somewhat mysterious abilities that we lack. And even now, there are still some things that I don't understand about them. But I’ve married one, I’ve borne one, and I’ve lived among them for most of my adult life. And I’ve never been sorry. Give him a chance, Lisa. Get to know him better. Then decide."

"I thought that I would find you here," Amanda acknowledged her husband and son in Spencek's quarters. Then she walked directly to the subject of all of the discussion.

"Spencek, this has been handled all wrong. She's human. You'll have to follow human customs if you want to win her. Now, she says that you two don’t know each other nearly well enough to marry, and I’m inclined to suspect that that’s very true. You must see her alone. Get to know her. Teach her to trust you."

Amanda sighed deeply, and shook the head that had been beaten against the wall of Vulcan stubbornness for far too long. "Spencek, this isn't a bargaining table. I can't say that if you spend 'x' number of hours with her, you'll automatically be rewarded with the merchandise that you seek. She's a person! With feelings," Amanda emphasized, with a glance at each man in the room, simultaneously taking in the trio of rolled eyes. "Yes, feelings! And you'd better learn to cope with that right now, if you ever hope for a relationship with a human."

"Maybe. If you remember to deal with the fact that Lisa is a delicate, fragile, sensitive little thing. She's got spunk on occasion. But that spunk, more often than not, hides a terrified little girl. She's the exact opposite of you Vulcans. Maybe that's why you like her," Amanda teased. "She's an enticing spice in your life."

Spencek chose to ignore that. "I shall endeavor to follow your advice," he said simply.

For the next few days, Spencek and Lisa spent much time together. In many of their conversations, they tediously tiptoed around each other, carefully skirting the main issue between them. Ultimately, however, Spencek made his proposal. He reached for her temple for a brief mind touch.

Lisa pulled back in alarm. "No! I know about the bonding-meld! I'm afraid that you'll bond with me against my will, and hypnotize me and brainwash me and enslave me, and drag me away to Vulcan with you!”

Spencek sighed. “I promise you that I will not probe that deeply. And I would never carry you off without your consent."

Lisa relented, although nervously. To her surprise, she found the mind meld quite pleasant. And more than that: soothing. Through it, he calmed her somewhat. After he withdrew from her mind, he cupped her face in both hands, and slid them past her throat to cradle the back of her head. Lisa flinched.

Spencek suppressed a smile. “Do not fear. This is not the position for tal-shaya.”

"I do this for the human reason: for comfort and consolation and reassurance," he quoted her.

Lisa remembered, and smiled, and knew in that instant that she'd made the right decision.

News traveled fast on a starship. When Amanda received word of the engagement, she was conversing with Dr. McCoy.

She admitted to him, "Vulcans have a mystique about them. It's seldom that they can't charm a human woman if they want to badly enough."

The athletic activities that Spock might have expected to show Sarek and Amanda during the tour earlier, were taking place now. Spencek and Spornak were instructing Sulu and Chekov with the ahn-woon. Spock and Sarek were there to watch, as was Spivak. Amanda was not present this time. She was sharing more "girl talk" with Lisa in her guest quarters, and was giving her pointers on coping with day-to-day living with a Vulcan.

Kirk entered behind Spock, Sarek, and Spivak, and joined them to watch. The competition was interesting, but Kirk, ever-sensitive to the nuances of the feelings of other humans around him, quickly realized that Chekov was tired, and nervous at the presence of the audience. He evidently did not like having other Vulcans watch him work out with one. Their silent judgmental scrutiny clearly made him uneasy. Kirk, on the other hand, would enjoy the opportunity to show off, and he was feeling frisky. He decided to bail out Chekov.

Diplomatically, Kirk made no mention of his perception, and apologized. “I’m sorry to push you aside, Mr. Chekov, but if you wouldn’t mind too terribly….”

Chekov's far greater, but silent, appreciation was in his eyes, for only Kirk to see. He handed him the ahn-woon.

The match recommenced with the substitution. Chekov watched by the door. He noted with evident surprise that Kirk had good moves even with this peculiar weapon, and clearly wondered when his captain might have ever previously worked with an ahn-woon.

Kirk managed to get behind Spornak, and snapped the sling over his head and around his neck. But he was standing a little too close to the Vulcan. Spornak bent suddenly in half, catching Kirk onto his back, and flipping him forward over his shoulder to the floor.

The moment that Spock saw Kirk fall, he obviously knew with a sickening certainty that the human was landing wrong: when he came down, his head was twisted at a crazy angle relative to his shoulders. Spock had his tricorder in his hand, and was by Kirk's side, by the time that the captain cried out in pain.

All of the Vulcans looked at each other; none of them missed the monumental irony in the nature of his injury.

Kirk was conscious and breathing hard. Spock bent down to him. "Don't move, Jim. You must not move."

"I can't stop shaking," Kirk told him tremulously. "I have to hold still and I can't."

Spornak approached gingerly. "Captain, my sincere regrets. I certainly never intended to…."

Spock, still holding Kirk's head, reached out with a careful mind touch. "Calm. Be calm. Relax."

Kirk's rapid breathing slowed somewhat; he tried to smile up at Spock. "Thanks. That helped."

"I know. If it severs the cord, I'll be paralyzed…or killed." He closed his eyes, and then opened them again. "Is this it, Spock? Am I going to die?"

McCoy's accusing eyes quickly stabbed Spock, Sarek, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak. "Do I need to ask how that happened?!"

“They didn’t do it, Bones,” Kirk assured him. “I mean, not the way that you think.”

McCoy grumbled and pulled out his tricorder. He knelt beside Kirk, next to Sarek.

The Vulcan observed the readings over McCoy's shoulder, and remarked, "Interesting. The break is, by coincidence, in the tal-shaya position."

"Great," Kirk responded, and then asked curiously, "Does a tal-shaya victim ever survive like this?"

Spock went on, "We do it with sufficient force to make sure that the cord is severed."

"Now hold him steady," McCoy instructed, as he positioned his bone-mending laser with exquisite care, and activated it. Within minutes, it was mended.

"All right." McCoy stood. "He can be moved now. But it'll be delicate for a while. No strenuous activity for you, Jim."

Sarek and Spock carefully lifted Kirk onto the anti-grav stretcher that the quiet, up-until-now-unnoticed orderly had brought. They watched as McCoy and the orderly took Kirk away, and then they stepped out of the gym into the corridor.

Sarek asked without preamble, "Why did you say no when Kirk asked if he was going to die?"

"Granted. But that was not what he needed to hear. Human survival chances are often increased by optimism."

Sarek conceded Spock's point with his eyes, and said nothing further on the subject.

"Nothing doing!" McCoy left no room for argument. "Whatever happened to 'happy to be alive'?"

"M'Benga can take care of me. You said that I'm healing well. I shouldn't need doctoring."

"Yes, but has M'Benga perfected the fine art of keeping you in that bed? Medically, I trust him to take care of you, of course. But you need a doctor who can out-stubborn you. And I may be the only one."

"Getting you stuck on a planet all alone with all of those Vulcans, as payback for driving me crazy this last week."

"Just for that, I'll put a Vulcan in here to make you behave, and if you annoy him, he can re-break it."

"I should like to go along in your stead. Not in command capacity, of course, but as an observer. I would like to see your men in action on a mission. If I am here to lend support for your Vulcan contingent, I cannot best do that by remaining on the ship while they go and carry out their responsibilities elsewhere."

Kirk was surprised. "Your point is well taken, Mr. Ambassador. I can't argue with your logic." He caught himself on the last word and winced.

Kirk looked rueful. "Well, think of me while you're all off having a good time. Actually, you won't miss me; you'll have McCoy to tease. In fact, I'm counting on it."

The desolate, rocky, barren environment into which Sarek, Spock, McCoy, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak materialized was certainly not conducive to the idea that Kirk was missing much. McCoy looked around and sighed.

Spencek moved to comply. He never completed the action. A huge blur of fur charged, roaring, into their midst, ferocious fangs flashing. Several Vulcans drew phasers and attempted to fire, without result.

Spornak bravely lunged at the creature's shoulder and pinched, also to no avail. Five pairs of brows would have risen if there had been time. But by now the animal had zeroed in on the human as its target. McCoy struggled to escape, stumbled, and fell backward, the fuzzy behemoth practically upon him. At the last instant, Spivak ran between them, seized the monster's neck in his hand, and snapped it. It collapsed into a giant bear rug at his feet.

McCoy looked away, trembling. He stammered, "Th…thank you, Spivak." But his ashen face was turned aside, and his chest was heaving breathlessly.

The Vulcans observed him in concern. Spock went over and touched his arm. Startled, McCoy looked wild-eyed at him.

"No. No, it's just…. I've never seen it done before. And so close-up, too. I always thought that it would require more effort. You only use one finger. And you do it as easily as you do the nerve pinch. You're all that good at it, aren't you?" He looked from one to another of them.

"Hardly, in the way that you mean. After studying anatomical diagrams, we practice on dummies. But we can practice on each other in a limited way: in finding the correct spot; we just do not complete the action."

"Seems to me that it takes a great deal of trust: to just let someone take hold of you in that way. Look, I’m sorry. Seeing it just made me nervous, that’s all."

McCoy glanced at the carcass. "Well, what do we do with this thing anyway? It might make an interesting dinner if it’s edible." He pulled out his tricorder to analyze it.

McCoy defended himself, "Well, I’m sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities. And you say that I’m sensitive?! But we don’t know how long we’ll be here…."

The landing party realized that it had better get to higher ground to be safe from the bulky, predatory creatures. From the desert far below, the men from the Enterprise could see a cave set into the cliff. Climbing it to reach the relative safety of the cave would be a great deal less risky than setting up camp where they were.

It was the sensible move, but McCoy protested mightily as their journey began, "I'm a doctor, not a human fly!"

"We will help you, Doctor. You will make it," Spock assured him. He and Spencek went ahead of McCoy, finding hand-holds for him, and placing his fingers into them. Spornak and Spivak boosted the human from below, guiding his feet into available toe-holds. Sarek scouted ahead for the best route.

McCoy panted, "Why can't...we just...get beamed up to the cave?" The last part came out in the burst of air following a deep breath. Then he coughed.

"You know the answer to that already." Spock pulled McCoy's left hand into the next indentation. "Our very reason for being here is based on reports of an advanced entity on this planet. We are here to try to contact it. We are not trying to draw undue attention to the ship. It is held in reserve. Indiscriminate beaming up and down would hardly fit that mission description."

"I ask a simple question...I get a lecture. We'll hardly...fulfill our mission...if we fall and...kill ourselves on the...first day."

Spencek urged McCoy's right hand upward. "We are not going to fall and kill ourselves."

Spivak pushed at his right foot. “A doctor should be aware that that is not good. You insist on giving us periodic physicals, work-outs, and tests in sickbay. You require it for everyone from the captain on down the line."

"RHIP…Rank Has Its Privileges…. The ship's doctor...makes everyone else do it…. He doesn't necessarily...do it himself."

“Wait…one…damn…minute…! I can’t…lift all…four limbs…at once! It’s a…physical impossibility…! You guys…have to…coordinate your…efforts better…!”

Spencek observed wryly, "Our apologies, Doctor. But we tried allowing you to take the initiative with your movements. And you remained in one place."

Spornak agreed, "If we do not push you, we will not reach the cave before dark."

"All right, all right...! I get it...! You know...when Jim told you...to pick on me...I don't think ...that he meant every single second!" He coughed.

"The human tendency to mumble. Communicating, without communicating. Troubling oneself to make sounds, knowing in advance that they will not be understood."

Spock spoke from his greater knowledge of humans, "He means that we would find the words offensive."

"Hey...! You're...doing it again...! If you...use your Vulcan strength to...forcibly lift both hands and both feet…all at the same time…you'll throw me...right off of this...mountain…!"

Spock seized the wrist and turned it to examine the palm. “Doctor, you have cut yourself.”

"Negative," Spivak responded. "I believe that four of us can manage to elevate the doctor that much farther."

"Really, Doctor," Spock admonished him. "That misunderstanding was your own fault. And I heard what you actually said. Most crude."

McCoy crawled onto the apron that jutted out from it, and sprawled flat in exhaustion and relief. "Don't anybody...ask me to move...so much as one meter!"

Sarek said, "We must get into the cave, start our campfire, and get settled for the night."

Spock agreed, "And treat the doctor's wound." With that, he bent and picked up the human.

"Doctor McCoy. I am going to carry you into the cave. You have two choices. You can be carried in peacefully. Or you can be carried in, unconscious." His eyes bored into the human's.

Satisfied, Spock proceeded inside, and the others followed. He set down his burden. While the others busied themselves with the fire, Spock offered, "Let me help you."

Spock remained patient. "On someone else, yes. But on yourself? Doctor, everyone knows that it is notoriously difficult to doctor oneself."

The latter calmly took the medication from him in one hand, and drew McCoy's open palm to him with the other.

Spivak had been watching them from where he helped the others with the fire. He went close and stared at McCoy's bloody hand. "May I see?" He reached out for it.

Spivak studied it with clinical interest. "I have never seen red human blood before this. I knew that they had red blood, of course. But this is my first encounter with it. It is such a bright red blood. Somehow, I expected it to be a duller shade."

McCoy said peevishly, "So yours is bright green. It isn't dull, either. So what?"

"Relax, Doctor," Spornak encouraged him from a few meters away, glancing over at him. "We all find your differences interesting."

The fire now efficiently prepared, all of the other Vulcans came over as well. Spivak gave the human hand back to Spock, who went back to working on it.

"Yes," Spencek followed up on the thought. "We find humans quite interesting. For example, how do you humans cope with your emotions?"

McCoy pointed out, "I think that what you Vulcans do is a lot harder. You pretend that you don't have any."

"All right," McCoy yielded. "You wanted a straight answer. Well, it's like constantly doing a balancing act. Trying not to lean too far either way."

"Yes," he admitted. "And some of us are a lot more stable than others. For instance, the most stable human that I know is Jim Kirk. He's rock-steady. At the other extreme are the manic-depressives. People who have higher highs and lower lows than anyone else. Their balancing act is a constant case of teetering."

McCoy smiled. "Well, I hope not. No, I don't think so. But I'm a lot farther along in that direction than our captain is. We all are."

Spencek speculated, "Then, some of your people, those manic-depressives of which you spoke, might be better off without emotion."

"No, I don't think so," McCoy said bluntly. "I don't see anything good about self-denial. Besides, if you have a beautiful sunny blue sky, and it happens to be marred with a single gray cloud, you don't call that day a failure. Or if you have a lovely pink rose, but one petal is flawed by brown on one edge, you don't throw away that flower. Emotion is not perfect, but it makes each day worth getting out of bed."

Spornak posed the next question. "What is it like not to be able to feel the thoughts of others?"

"Tranquil!" was the flip response, but then he thought about it. "Or maybe lonely. But I don't know, we're used to it. We don't know any differently. I guess that it's like the blind man who doesn't understand colors. Or the deaf man who can't imagine music. You can't miss what you've never known. Besides, if we were suddenly able to do that, just woke up one day with the ability to hear others’ thoughts, I think that most of us would be scared."

"Fear of invasion of privacy, I guess. We all have thoughts that we'd rather not share."

Spornak nodded. "In our culture, we guard private thoughts carefully with mental shielding."

"But we don't have that. And until we learned to develop it, if ever, life would be a peeping-tom's free-for-all!"

Spock had finished bandaging McCoy's hand. He released it and the human laid it gingerly in his lap.

It was Spivak's turn to interrogate the doctor. "Just how much strength do you have?"

McCoy was embarrassed. "Well, not nearly as much as you. Although, we never thought of ourselves as weaklings until we met you-all."

Spencek suggested, "I propose to test it as an experiment, using your human method of arm wrestling. With your good hand, of course," he hastened to add.

"I am sure that we are all well aware of that, after today's climb," Spencek reminded him.

"I'm hardly the right human for you to do this with. You'd get better results with almost anyone else."

Spock suggested, "Doctor, there is an appropriate human expression: be a good sport."

McCoy grumbled, "Oh all right! But don't break my hand! I don't need both of 'em beat up!"

They leaned toward each other and propped their elbows on flat ground. They clasped hands. Spock counted to three. On three, McCoy strained with all of his might, and his eyes squinted with effort. It was not enough to even delay Spencek. The Vulcan put the human down as immediately as if McCoy had not tried at all. Spencek stared in astonishment at McCoy over their flattened, still-clasped hands. The human's eyes met his in shame.

Into the awkward silence, Spornak said, "I was alarmed at how easy it was to accidentally injure Captain Kirk. I always knew that I could break a human's neck deliberately, but I never knew that I could do it by accident. You are so fragile.”

“My apologies, Doctor." Spencek was sincere. "We will change the subject. What is it like to be human?"

"Right now pretty embarrassing! But no, all right. Really, that's too general a question. I don't really know how to answer it. But you'd better try to learn to understand it somehow, if you intend to have a human wife. Eh, Sarek?"

"It'll come gradually. But it'll never be easy, and it'll never be dull. And every time that you think that you have her figured out, she'll surprise you."

Spock answered evenly, "Not if you make no objection to an all-vegetable dinner."

Sarek rose and went to the fire to retrieve the now-cooked greens that he had set out earlier.

Spornak asked, "If I may change the subject again, why did you humans think that you could play a ship-wide April Fool joke on us with impunity?"

McCoy winced in memory. He responded helplessly, "I don't know; I thought that it was a good idea at the time."

"Because you were all getting on our nerves." He stifled the urge to tell them about the pun. "You two insulted Sulu and Chekov, and scared Lisa." He indicated Spencek and Spornak with his eyes. "And you, Spock, offended me. And there were other incidents like that all over the ship. We just saw our practical joke as getting even. And then you got even with our ‘even.’ I might have guessed that we couldn't come out on top, even in practical jokes, which are supposed to be our specialty, not yours."

McCoy groaned. "Oh! That's right! You wouldn't know about that; you weren't on board then. Well, the others can tell you about it, but not now, please. I'm really tired." He yawned.

"Yes, it is late," Spock agreed, looking out of the cave at the diamond stars twinkling on black velvet. "But do not stretch out there," he told McCoy. "Go deeper into the cave."

McCoy obeyed, frowning. The five Vulcans strategically placed themselves between him and the cave entrance, their movements automatic and perfectly choreographed as if they were of one mind. And, given their telepathic skills, perhaps for that moment, they were.

He was going to argue further, and then thought better of it. "Goodnight Spock."

The Vulcans could protect McCoy from external dangers. But they could not protect him from his dreams. And in the middle of the night, he came under siege. His screaming nightmare brought five Vulcans instantly to his side.

McCoy opened his eyes, saw Spock, and screamed again, startling the Vulcans. Then he looked around and saw where he was and realized that it was only a bad dream.

"Evidently. And from your scream upon awakening, I would surmise that it may have been about me."

"And it was inspired by that damned beast that attacked us down there. The way that you killed it. I dreamed that all five of you were ganging up on me and doing that to me." He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

McCoy snapped sarcastically, "You're such a consolation. Is there any defense against tal-shaya, by the way?"

McCoy was aggravated. "You really know how to build up a guy's confidence. Well, I'll just make sure that I never earn it."

Spencek tried to reassure him, and it backfired. "In any case, Doctor, the method is nearly painless."

McCoy stared. "Nearly?? Oh, you've all been so very comforting." He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.

Sarek commented, "It is interesting that we had to resort to tal-shaya with the creature; the nerve pinch should have worked."

Spock nodded. "I concur. Therefore, the nervous structure of the creature must be entirely alien." Then he noticed that McCoy was pale and quiet. "Are you all right, Doctor?"

McCoy responded, "With all of this talk about 'nervous structure,' you're making me nervous!"

McCoy glared. "You've all gotten so good at teasing me!" But then he had an idea. "Wait! Maybe you've got something after all!"

"No, no! I don't mean destroy all of my emotions! Just specific ones! Spock, could you use your alien abilities to help me? Could you go in and erase just the memories of the close-up details of the killing of the creature? The morbid details? Make me forget! Then I won't dream about them anymore. And erase the nightmare that I just had, too."

"I can," Spock said slowly. "If you are sure that the process itself will not frighten you."

McCoy frowned. "Well, look at it this way. Once it's done, I won't be waking you up with any more screaming nightmares."

McCoy's eyes opened, and gradually went back into focus. He shook his head to clear it, and then looked around at the gathered audience.

"We...," Sarek began as he searched his mind for a harmless truth, "wanted to make certain that you were now settled in for a night's sleep."

McCoy said blankly, "That's very kind of you." Then he looked beyond the Vulcans, out at the night sky. "Gee, we did stay up late talking, didn't we?"

McCoy shrugged. "Well, if you're all waiting for me to bed down first, I guess I'll go ahead. I might as well stretch out right here where I am. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Doctor," various Vulcans responded as they returned to their former places.

All five Vulcans looked at each other. If they had been human, they would have laughed.

The alien entity came to them the following morning. It shimmered and sparkled in the air, hovering just outside of the cave entrance.

"I have watched you and listened to you until I had enough with which to judge you. You are not worthy of survival."

"Your cruelty. You brought weapons. I deactivated them. And still you managed to kill. You even caused your own companion to scream in the night."

"We killed because we were attacked. And our companion merely had a nightmare. We calmed him afterward."

"You are primitive. I judge advancement by emotional gentleness. You have none. You are cold and unfeeling."

McCoy stepped forward. "Well, I'm not cold! You certainly can't use that word to describe me!"

"No. That is true. You are different. I sense great gentleness and sensitivity in you. You will be spared."

Spock put up a hand to stop his objection. "Doctor, do not risk yourself for us. We…."

"Oh, you hush!" He ignored Spock’s elevated brows and turned back toward the entity. "Now listen here! These people are my friends!"

McCoy looked down at his bandaged hand. "It was an accident. And then one of them doctored it for me."

"Yes. And not only for me, but for others of my kind, too. One of them is married to a female of my species. And another one of them is about to be wed to another of my kind. And those two ladies are among the most tender-hearted beings that I know." McCoy took another step forward. "Please. We've chosen these people as our friends; there had to be a good reason."

McCoy knew that he would have to improvise quickly. He mentally crossed his fingers that the Vulcans would not be too proud to cooperate. He strode purposefully back to the nearest two. They happened to be Spornak and Spivak. He pushed between them, and put an arm around each one's waist. They regarded him in amazement. With lips nearly closed, he muttered softly, "Put your arms around me, you dummies!"

The three held the pose while McCoy stood with a forced smile on his lips, feeling foolishly as if the threesome were about to be holographed by an unseen holographer. Then he pulled free, to the Vulcans' evident relief, walked to Spencek, and extended his hand. "You remember how; we've done this before."

McCoy cast a look at Sarek. And decided not to press his luck; the latter was just too forbidding. He left the ambassador alone, and went to Spock. He knew that he must go for a grand finale, and he trusted Spock to let him.

"Come, Spock, let us be blood-brothers." With that, McCoy pulled a sharp implement from his medkit and pierced his own thumb, then reached for Spock's hand. Spock submitted it dubiously. McCoy nicked the alien thumb carefully, and pressed his own to it. Green intermingled with red. The human whispered, "Don't worry, Spock; it's harmless. Kids on Earth used to do this all the time. They weren't always of the same blood type, either." He clasped the Vulcan's hand to keep the thumbs together, and looked at the entity and waited.

“Very well, then I release you. And you will be welcome to return to this place.” It vanished.

McCoy let out a tremendous sigh of relief, and began mopping at the two bloody thumbs.

But Spock was not looking at the thumb; he was looking at the human. “Doctor, you have saved all of our lives.”

Spivak offered, “You have strength of a different type, that I had not considered.”

McCoy's eyes traveled to each of them. “As a matter of fact, there is a way.” He said faintly, “Don't make me climb back down that mountain.”

Spock was patiently bemused. “We will be beamed out from here.” He withdrew his communicator.

But before Spock could call for beam-up, Spencek wanted to know, “Were you telling the truth? Do you truly like it when we tease you?”

"What do you mean, Captain Kirk's in his quarters?!" McCoy bellowed into the transporter room intercom.

"I let him spend a short time there restfully, but I told him that he must report back shortly, and that he can't go on duty," came M'Benga's apologetic voice.

"All right! I admit it! I'm sorry, Dr. McCoy. But he promised that he'd take it easy, and he really does want to see all of you in his quarters, now that you're back aboard ship."

McCoy entered first, with his tricorder already running, the Vulcans trooping in behind him.

"I've been resting." Kirk smiled placatingly. "I've kept my promise to M'Benga." He eagerly changed the subject. "How'd it go down on the planet?"

Kirk was surprised. "Why, Bones! I thought that I'd have to soothe and console you after your ordeal of being marooned with all of those Vulcans. I thought that you’d be frantic.”

Spock answered him, "After a rather undistinguished beginning, the doctor emerged as the hero of the expedition."

McCoy bounced happily on his toes. "There was an entity down there that judged whether or not we were worthy of survival by measuring our emotional gentleness."

Kirk was obviously struggling not to burst out laughing, and was not entirely successful. His relative lack of success caused the Vulcans to regard him disparagingly.

McCoy went on, "I had the happy privilege of teaching our unemotional friends here how to be human."

McCoy was enjoying his role in center stage. "After all of their jokes about disemotionalizing me, I got to antidisemotionalize them!"

McCoy was unruffled. “Oh, but you did it so well! Enough to fool our alien entity! The one with the good taste to know how valuable human emotions are!"

Kirk pointed out, "Pity that we can't tell that to the Vulcans of the parallel universe, where they're turning humans into Vulcans."

McCoy speculated, "Think what'll happen when those Vulcans find that planet in their own universe."

The two humans ignored them. Instead, McCoy observed, "It serves them right. I don't feel a bit sorry for them."

Spock wondered, "Do you say then, Doctor, that it would have served us right as well?"

"After all," Spivak put in, "we would have been destroyed had you not been with us."

"I can," Spock responded. "He is saying that it would have been...'poetic justice'."

McCoy grinned widely. "Well, Spock, you threw poetic justice at me after Jim and I got back from the parallel universe."

Spock acknowledged, "Yes I did, Doctor. After which, as I recall, you threw a pillow at me."

Kirk took that as his cue and edged to the door. "I'd better report back to M'Benga; see you later, Bones."

Kirk slipped through the door just as McCoy was hit from behind by the pillow barrage. His yelp followed Kirk out of the door.

The next ship's "day," McCoy emerged from sickbay and chanced to encounter Spock, Sarek, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak on their way down the corridor.

Spencek observed, "Of course, most humans lie down on top of pillows, not under them."

"I'm going to regret admitting that, aren't I? On the other hand, I was sorely tempted to use the opportunity to tease you back, as I lay on the floor under all of those pillows: pretend that I was injured. Pretend that my neck was broken, like Jim's."

Spornak speculated, "In which case, we would have had no choice but to flog you once again with the pillows."

"Hm." McCoy considered. "But then the joke might've been on you: you'd've kept that up and feathers would've been all over the room." He added to himself in a mutter, "That is, if they still make pillows the right way anymore, and they probably don’t."

Spivak queried, "Yesterday, you and Captain Kirk indicated that fur would fly under certain circumstances, and now it is feathers that would do so?"

McCoy stared at him penetratingly. "Are you absolutely sure that you Vulcans have no sense of humor?"

McCoy waxed poetic. "And that puts me in mind of something else that flies: time. And that reminds me: Spencek, when are you going to turn that little fiancée of yours into a bride?"

"Interesting that you ask me that, Doctor; I plan to discuss the subject with her today. We should set a date."

Spornak warned him, "If indeed, Spencek, you are truly reconciled to the idea of having a wife who experiences – what did you call them, Ambassador – nightmares?”

McCoy was puzzled. "Nightmares? That's just one tiny detail of human existence. Whatever made you think of that?"

Spock said hastily, "Nothing that you need to be concerned about, Doctor McCoy. If you will excuse us, we must be on about our duties."

McCoy mumbled to himself, "Well, they certainly got tired of me in a hurry. Hmmm."

Spencek rang for entry at Lisa Hollister's quarters and was admitted. She smiled shyly, nervously, at him. Spencek extended the first two fingers of his right hand to her, and Lisa mirrored the gesture, went to him, and crossed his fingers with her own.

Her eyes dropped from his. "I...I had a feeling that you were soon going to say that."

"No." She smiled hesitantly. "It's not that bad. I just...was wondering the details."

"Oh!" She was pleased. She'd been sure that he would insist on Vulcan tradition only, in which case she would not have felt truly married.

"I'd love it! And does Ambassador Sarek have the authority to marry us in the Vulcan custom?"

"No, he does not. However, we are, at present, on our way to Vulcan, to drop off the ambassador and his wife. We could beam down with them."

"That's an understatement, isn't it? Spencek, that leads me to something else that has been worrying me."

Spencek tilted her face up and looked her in the eye. "I must return to Vulcan."

"I was afraid that you would say that, too. Spencek, I'm not like the Lady Amanda. She is one brave lady. She's adaptable, courageous, flexible, worldly. I admire her a great deal, but I'm not like that. I belong on Earth, in my own culture."

"Do you know how much I miss the ocean? I haven't been there in...well, years, too many of them. Vulcan doesn't even have any ocean."

He nodded. “Hot climate, for Earth. Not as hot as Vulcan, but you would be at least partially acclimated.”

She shook her head. “I’ve heard about Vulcan’s climate. Dry heat. Ugh! Do you know what that would do to my complexion? And my sinuses? And I'll bet that even my nails would get brittle and break off, and my hair would be limp and lifeless. Florida is lush, tropical. With palm trees, and flowers, and rivers…. And I love blue sky, Spencek. I love to lie in the shade and just look up at it, and watch the ever-changing cloud formations – skyscapes, I call them! or skysculpture! – slide by. But red sky! I don't know."

Lisa tried to relax, and teased him, "Are you going to swim in the ocean with me, Spencek? That I would like to see!"

She grinned and gently mimicked him, "And I will endeavor to teach you to surf. Ride the waves."

Lisa sobered again. "But it's more than just the environment. It's your people, too, Spencek. I'm frightened of them. They make me uneasy."

"Oh, ...I'm used to them I guess. They scared me at first, but I'm used to them now. That reminds me, are you still going to let them tease me? After we're married?"

"Yeah." She grinned sheepishly. "I kind of like it. It breaks up the monotony of our work."

"Then I will permit it. But I was making a point, Lisa. At first they scared you. And now you are used to them. Can it not be so with the rest of my people as well?"

Spencek pursued his advantage, "Give them a chance, Lisa. Isn't that what you said that the Lady Amanda told you about me?"

Lisa Hollister needed to check on her experiment in progress. She let herself into the small lab just off of the main science section. And found herself alone with T'Rethe. The Vulcan woman's eyes lit, and she stepped toward the human.

Lisa looked away from her. "Oh, I forgot something," she murmured, and turned back to the door. She found her way blocked.

"You announced that you feared Vulcans, in front of all. Yet now you intend to marry one. That is a trifle inconsistent."

"You know what they say. Women have a right to change their minds," Lisa mumbled.

"Perhaps then you have changed your mind about other things as well. Such as meeting me in combat."

T'Rethe closed the distance between them. "Do not be concerned. You will not be killed. I will see to it that you are no more severely injured than…." She crooked a brow. "…Than Captain Kirk was when he engaged Spornak."

The door slid aside and admitted a concerned Spivak behind T'Rethe. Lisa ran around her, to his side.

She was unruffled. "Not precisely. I challenged her. And I told her how badly she would not be injured."

Meanwhile, Lisa's best friend and fellow science department human, Tony Hardesty, stood outside of the ship's gym, working up his nerve to enter. He knew that Spencek and Spornak were inside, engaged in their daily off-duty ritual of Vulcan practice-combat. The human took a deep breath and went in, and stood watching the two Vulcans with hands on hips. They noticed and turned to him.

"Sir," Tony said stiffly. "I know that you outrank me, but we're off-duty now, and in informal surroundings, to say the least. May I speak honestly?"

"Lisa and I have been best friends since we were kids. And I've always liked her. And I've always assumed...well...that is…."

"Well, ...confound it, yes! If you must put it in such mundane, ordinary terms! She's a human! And she belongs with a human! And...and I want to marry her!"

"And yet, you have had more than ample time in which to do so. You have known her for many more years than I have."

"Now look here! You can't possibly love her! You Vulcans don't even know the meaning of the word!"

Spencek's face was stern. "Our feelings, one way or the other, are not subject to discussion."

Tony was slightly deflated, but retorted bravely, "I thought that you said that I could speak honestly."

"Well. Would it offend you if I said that I wanted to fight for her? Your people fight over women, don't they?"

"At times." He straightened in readiness, and looked Tony over appraisingly. "I am willing. But it is not a wise course for you."

Tony was frustrated. "No! I don't know how! And I don't intend to end up like Captain Kirk!" He shot a rough glance at Spornak. "Can't we just fight? Man to man?" He raised one fist in demonstration. "Or is that beneath you Vulcans?" he accused derisively.

"It will be acceptable," Spencek commented quietly. "Vulcans are not unacquainted with the human way. We find it crude and inadequate."

"Right." Tony snorted. "You prefer a fight to the death, with that thing." He pointed at the sling.

Lisa Hollister fled down the corridor, headed for Spencek's quarters. She had to tell him about T'Rethe. She desperately wanted protection from the Vulcan barracuda.

Doctor McCoy was coming from the opposite direction and intercepted her. "Whoa, whoa, Lisa, hold on there!" He seized her upper arms.

"No doubt." McCoy misunderstood her reason. "But you'd better talk to me first."

McCoy was confused. He'd thought that he'd known the reason for Lisa's haste. "Why, prepare you to see Tony, of course."

"What?!" Lisa shrieked, pulled free, changed direction, and ran for sickbay, with McCoy at her heels, yelling after her, "I thought that you knew!"

Tony lay on a diagnostic table, his arm in a stasis field, his face in varying shades of pink, red, and purple.

“Oh, Tony!" Lisa arrived at his bedside and took his good hand. "Spencek did this to you???"

McCoy reminded him emphatically, "After your arm was already broken. So that you wouldn't feel the pain until I got there. You obviously weren't going to do any more fighting in that condition."

"Oh come on! You told Spencek that you didn't want a fight to the death, remember? Well you very nearly got one, and the death would've been your own."

"Hardly. As soon as you were down with that arm, Spencek mercifully rendered you unconscious while Spornak called me. Then both of them stayed with you until I got there. If you had stopped breathing, I have no doubt that they would have acted at once and saved you."

Tony was unrepentant. "Well, why'd he break my arm, anyway? I didn't think that it was arms that Vulcans liked to break," he sneered.

"No!" he bellowed fiercely. "You can't be given to one of them! Don't you remember how uncomfortable we've always felt, working in their department? H and H? Hardesty and Hollister? Human and Human? How are you going to feel, living in their society?"

At that, Lisa saw T'Rethe's face in her mind, looked at Tony's injuries, and realized how close she'd come to suffering the same treatment.

Lisa Hollister hurried automatically to the Lady Amanda's guest quarters. She rang and was acknowledged. She ran inside, but stopped cold at the sight of the intimidating visages of Sarek and Spock.

Sarek visibly suppressed a sigh, and turned to Spock. "And humans believe that Vulcans are mysterious."

Lisa blurted, "Spencek beat up Tony! And T'Rethe almost beat up me! Oh, I can't go through with this! I've made a terrible mistake!!"

Amanda put her arms around the younger girl. "Now, I think that you'd better slow down and tell me all about it. First of all, who is Tony?" She drew Lisa to sit down at her side on the bed.

Lisa sniffled. "Tony's my best friend. We grew up together. I always thought of him as a brother. But now he tells me that he loves me. He wants to marry me. He's in the science department with me, you know," she clarified. "He's the only other human who is."

"And you say that Spencek...beat him up? The human way?" Amanda’s astonishment was evident.

"Well….” Lisa explained, "Tony started it. The method must have been his choice. If I know him, he never would've agreed to fight the Vulcan way."

"And he doesn't like being in their department, or being outranked by most of them. I didn't, at first, either. But it was always different for me. I always secretly enjoyed being the object of their teasing. Even though it felt like I was flirting with danger. Or maybe that made it more exciting. But Tony never got teased. And he wouldn't have liked it, anyway."

"And, by contrast, you've been enjoying your relationship with the Vulcans whom you work with."

"Secretly. While pretending that I wasn't. It's been like a grand adventure. I look at them, and I feel all shivery-scary inside. And I want them to notice me, and tease me, and even pretend…. But I don't want them to hurt me for real." She shuddered.

"And how did you feel when you found out that one of them, Spencek, was taking an interest in you in return?"

"Thrilled! Scared. Flattered. Incredulous. Proud. Overwhelmed. Awed. Terrified."

Amanda smiled. "In other words, you certainly weren't indifferent to it. Or resentful of it."

Amanda nodded. "And I've already explained why I think that Spencek is drawn to you. So it sounds as if you two are well-suited to have a very interesting life together. And if you were really listening to what you were saying about Tony earlier, you and Tony would be destined for a very dull, uneventful life."

"Tony would take me home. To Florida. After we leave the Enterprise. We were neighbors; we grew up there, near Orlando. But Spencek would make me....”

"Well that should be very exciting. If a department full of Vulcans intrigues you, think what a whole planet full of them would do."

"Oh, but that's different! That's too scary! I'd be trapped and isolated! And even the environment wouldn't be right! I'm not brave like you! I could never get used to all of that!"

"Now Lisa, listen to me." Amanda took her by the shoulders. "You're marrying a man, not a place. You cannot choose a husband on the basis of who will take you home."

"You must select on the basis of which man makes your heart throb. And we both know which one does."

"And besides, I'm sure that he'll take you home for a visit now and then. Sarek takes me."

"I'm afraid! T'Rethe threatened me! I think that she intends to force combat with me! I can't! She'll kill me! Do you suppose that she wants Spencek? Could that be the problem? What am I going to do?!"

Amanda shook her head. "I doubt if that's it. She challenged you for the first time before Spencek declared his intentions toward you. But now, just don't you worry. You let me get to the bottom of whatever T'Rethe's problem is."

Amanda grinned. "Yes, she's gone. Sarek, Lisa and I need your help in this matter of her and Spencek."

"Hmmm, that sounds like splitting hairs. Anyway, Sarek, Spock, there is a young Vulcan female, T'Rethe, who seems determined to hurt Lisa, and Lisa is just as determined that she must not. Would you two please talk to this T'Rethe and find out what her problem is?"

Sarek looked at her. "You do not wish to conduct this investigation yourself, my wife?"

Amanda refused to take the bait, and answered the question as stated, "No, I think that this one would go much better coming from you. She's a Vulcan. And if her problem is what I think that it is, I won't be able to get anywhere with her. Because I'm human."

Amanda shrugged. "One good turn deserves another. I owe you. It's your turn to have a private conference. Besides, as I said, if it's what I think that it is, my presence will hinder. Expecially when I lose my temper."

Amanda gave it a good half-hour before she returned. Even then, she only peered cautiously inside. "Is the coast clear?"

Spock regarded her quizzically. "If by that you mean, has T'Rethe departed, the answer is yes."

"Good." Amanda let herself fully into the room. "Let me guess: she hates humans."

Sarek explained, "She simply believes that the science department of this ship should be exclusively Vulcan."

Spock tried, "She suspects that it would be more logical to have all Vulcan scientists."

"I was right," Amanda insisted. "She's prejudiced. And I was right to leave. I would have lost my temper."

Sarek nodded. "I informed her that combat with an unwilling opponent was unseemly."

"So!" Amanda stood in the doorway. "This is what a human looks like who's been beaten up by a Vulcan. Nice. I can't say that I'm surprised…."

"Let's speak honestly." She returned the rudeness accordingly. "You couldn't possibly have any respect for me, because I'm married to one of them. You don't have any respect for yourself, because, ...well, look at you! But most important of all, you don't have any respect for Lisa. You wait until she's happy with someone else, and then you pull this. You don't really want Lisa for yourself, and you know it. You just don't want a Vulcan to have her. You're prejudiced."

"Well, then I'd say that you’d better get over it, because most of the Vulcans on board, including my son, are your superior officers."

Amanda left, but not so fast that she missed hearing Kirk say, "Well, that was a damned stupid stunt, Ensign," and the boy's answering sigh. She smiled to herself.

"No, ...I guess not. I did at first. But the Lady Amanda and Dr. McCoy helped me to see that it was Tony's fault."

"Yes, I know. You...put him to sleep after he broke his arm, so that he wouldn't suffer."

"I know that, too. But Spock said that he and Sarek had a talk with her. There should be no further trouble."

"I appreciate that. But I must know how you feel. Do you want me to fight her? Are you ashamed of me?"

"No. I do not want you hurt. We will not risk it. If T'Rethe bothers you again, I will handle her."

Lisa was relieved. "Thank you! I don't want to fight her! I just thought that I should ask you! I'm a coward, Spencek!"

Spencek went close and tilted her chin up with one finger. "You are not. You have a right to fear her. I will protect you." He kissed her. "And now, my Lisa, my wife-to-be, may we set a date? In two days, we will be in orbit around my planet. Should we have the shipboard ceremony first? Shall I speak to Captain Kirk?"

Sarek, Amanda, Spock, Spornak, Spivak, Kirk, McCoy, and several others, Vulcans and humans, attended both weddings.

Spencek and Lisa were very indulgent of each other's customs. Spencek did not flinch when Kirk, officiating at the human-style ceremony, asked him if he would promise to love Lisa. He merely, appropriately, answered, "I do." Lisa did not bat an eye when the Vulcan matriarch, at the planet-side ceremony, asked her if she would yield to Spencek's logic. She simply replied, "I so vow," as was proper.

After the second wedding, the Enterprise group bade farewell to Sarek and Amanda.

Lisa hugged her older friend. "Oh, I'll miss you! What'll I do now when I need your advice?"

Amanda smiled and assured her, "You'll have a husband now for that." She added meaningfully, "And whenever Spencek brings you here, I'll expect you to come and visit me."

Lisa smiled gratefully. She wouldn't be a completely unknown stranger when forced to come here to stay.

Six weeks later, Spencek and Lisa prepared for their first mission together since their marriage. Lisa was quite pleased. Ship’s routine was becoming a trifle boring, and a planet-side assignment would give the newlyweds new vistas to share and a belated honeymoon. Not that they would have much time alone. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Spornak, and Spivak would be accompanying. But that gave Lisa that much more reason to want to go along: she did not want to be on the Enterprise, with Spencek and Spock off-ship and T'Rethe on it.

Kirk, for his part, was clearly feeling frisky as well, and eager to be on his first real mission since recovering from his broken neck.

The transporter set the party down on Simberlaine, with a large concealing hill between them and the settlement that sensors had registered.

"Well," McCoy observed acidly, "do we prefer a long hike around to the left, or a long hike around to the right? Some choice!"

McCoy misunderstood. "Aw no!" He looked at the four Vulcans. "Don't you dare to suggest that we climb up and over it! I absolutely refuse!"

"A cave opening, ten point five three meters in that direction, leads into several tunnels, one of which is a passageway extending the entire diameter of the base of the hill, and will let us out on the opposite side."

Spock led the way. Kirk was delighted. He'd loved exploring caves as a boy. He pointed to an especially inviting side-passage. "Where does this one lead, Spock?"

The first officer consulted his tricorder. "It opens out into another cavern farther along. However, it does not join up anywhere else with the main branch."

"I'll catch up with you. I'll only be a few minutes." He disappeared down the path.

Nonplussed, Spock regarded the place where Kirk had vanished, and then turned to lead the expedition onward upon the correct course.

The enormous pit came on the group abruptly. Spock went close and peered down into it. The bottom seemed terribly far away, but not so far that he could not see what lay below them. Snake-like things. By the hundreds. Writhing over each other in tangled piles. Their skins were a whitish-orange, like a fungus, but they otherwise bore every resemblance to limbless, Earthly serpents.

But the travelers needed to go on, and the only evident way across was a long, two-centimeter-wide plank extending from their side to the other. Had the natives of this world seriously used it as a bridge? The Vulcans would be able to navigate it safely, but would the humans?

Spock frowned as he withdrew from the edge of the pit and turned back to face the others. They all crowded close to him, to peer into its depths. Lisa made a little sound, and pulled back away from it. McCoy made a face and joined her.

Lisa reached nervously to clutch McCoy's hand. For his own part, the doctor appeared only too happy to have a hand to hold in return.

Spivak made the crossing without difficulty, and Spornak promptly followed. The remaining two Vulcans turned to look at the two humans.

"The snake-like things cannot harm you," Spock assured her. "If you were to fall that great a distance, the impact would kill you instantly. You could not possibly live long enough to suffer any fate that the snake-creatures could inflict."

Lisa looked back to the Vulcans. "Don't you understand? I can't not fall! I'd never be able to walk across there!"

"Yes, and then I'd look down and panic! And maybe cause my carrier to lose his balance!"

Spencek quickly nerve-pinched her, and bent to catch her limp body over his shoulder as she fell forward, lifting her in a fireman's-carry. Without hesitation, he carried her across the plank.

"Uh.…" McCoy was distracted, his eyes shifting rapidly between Spencek and his burden, and Spock. Spencek reached his destination, thus releasing McCoy's attention. The latter met Spock's eyes. "I...I don’t think that I can walk across, either.”

“And…well….” He shrugged helplessly. “I hate to admit it, but…I guess that I’d better not be carried conscious either. Much as it pains me," he punned, glancing at Spock's fingers.

McCoy's eyes followed the threatening fingers on their course. At the last moment, his eyes widened and switched to Spock's face. “Oh god."

Spock pinched, and let McCoy fall onto his shoulder. He proceeded across the plank. Upon arrival, Spock gently lay McCoy down next to where Spencek had laid Lisa.

Kirk picked that moment to arrive on the other side, and said simply, “Oh, you're over there. Okay, I'll be right over." He confidently approached the narrow bridge.

"Whoa!" Kirk looked down, but did not withdraw his foot. "Snakes, huh? Great. And uh, narrow, isn't it? Oh well." He clearly resigned himself to try.

"Captain, I mean no offense, but no human has the balance and control of a Vulcan."

In response, Spock started out onto the plank. Right away, Kirk knew that he'd been had. He couldn't dare to start across now; he would endanger both of their lives. The two would come face-to-face in the center of the plank. He gave in to the inevitable and awaited Spock’s arrival.

“Okay, fine,” Kirk said. “Now how is this going to help? Now we’re both over here. What are you going to do, hold my hand?"

Spock was unruffled. "Captain, I call your attention to the fact that we successfully got Doctor McCoy and Ensign Hollister over there."

"Yes, I can see that they're over there, but they look rather…. Unconscious?? Aw, no!" He backed up a step. "You didn't?! You wouldn't?! You're not going to smash my dignity that badly, are you?! You nerve-pinched and carried them?! Don't you dare do that to me! I am perfectly capable...!"

Spock shut off Kirk's proud, brave tirade, gathered him over his shoulder, and carried him to the others, laying him out on the other side of McCoy.

Spornak asked Spencek conversationally, "Why did you apologize to Lisa before you rendered her unconscious?”

Spencek added, “And it had never been done to her before. Further, I doubt that she expected it to happen to her this soon."

Spock clarified, "McCoy has had it done to him before. However, the prior experience does not seem to have helped to relax him in regard to the procedure."

Spivak pointed out, "But Captain Kirk resisted, also. And that was not his reason."

"No," Spock agreed. "By contrast, the captain is too courageous for his own good."

"Me, too," McCoy admitted, and then noticed Kirk on the other side of him. "Him, too." He pointed.

Lisa giggled, and then winced. She sat up, rubbing her shoulder and glaring at Spencek.

"I wish only to comfort you." Spencek knelt down and caressed the sore place on her shoulder.

Lisa smiled slightly, and then, noticing Spornak and Spivak watching, she fussed, "It's rude to stare!"

Spencek wore an appreciative expression. "At least you have not lost your spunk."

McCoy shrugged and then grimaced at the sharp pain that that brought, and went on rubbing.

Kirk groaned and struggled into a sitting position. He favored Spock with a sour look, and then turned to McCoy. "Well, here we are again." He massaged his own shoulder as he spoke.

McCoy nodded. "At least we're not in the brig this time. And at the mercy of a ship full of crazy Vulcans."

Kirk glanced unforgivingly at their green-blooded companions. “That's a matter of opinion."

Spock tried, "Captain, it really did seem the safest way to expedite matters…."

"Yes, Spock, all right. But have you thought about the possibility that we may have to re-cross that bridge when the mission's over?"

"Do not be alarmed, Lisa," he attempted to console her. "I shall use the other shoulder next time."

"Mm. Wonderful." Kirk went on rebelliously, "Well, I'm not sure that I'll wait for you to come back and get me, next time. I think that I'll just start across without you."

"That will not be a problem, Captain," Spornak informed him. "I shall carry you while Mr. Spock carries the doctor. And, do not be concerned. This time, I shall place you across my shoulder, not pitch you over it."

Kirk frowned at the reminder of his broken neck, and said irritably to McCoy, "You just had to get them started teasing us."

"Hey, don't blame me!" the latter retorted. "When I left for that expedition that you couldn't go on, it was you who told them to torment me! Is it my fault that they liked it?”

It was planetary dusk when the party reached the cave entrance on the opposite side of the hill. They could see the lights from the nearby Simberlinian town, but judged that night would not be the best time in which to approach. The evening air was fresh and mild, and the darkening sky an appealing deep purple. The visitors settled down contentedly to sleep in the sheltering cavern.

Sometime during the night, the entire group awakened to the sound of Lisa's scream. Everyone rushed to where she lay alongside her husband, but no danger was readily apparent. Instead, Spencek was seen holding his shivering, wide-eyed wife.

He announced, "I believe that I have just endured my first close-up, human nightmare. Will you tell us what it was about, Lisa?" he requested, with clinical interest.

"All of you Vulcans! It was about what you did to us! To me, to Doctor McCoy, to Captain Kirk!"

"Yes! This nightmare is your fault! I dreamed that all four of you were ganging up on me and doing that to me!"

At her words, McCoy's expression went peculiar, as if there were something that he was trying to remember. Only Kirk, standing next to McCoy, noticed.

"You're such a consolation," McCoy blurted automatically, and then shook his head as a half-memory tormented him.

Spock noticed this time, and frowned in concern, realizing that the parallel situation was jarring a memory in McCoy that was to have remained closed.

"I can erase the memory of this nightmare with a mind meld, and suppress the tendency to have any more of them on this subject."

Kirk opened his mouth to question Spock, but the latter raised a hand requesting silence, and Kirk subsided.

Spock's hand proceeded upward to McCoy's temple. The touch was so gentle, and Spock's entry so prompt, that the human did not have time to exclaim. His face relaxed instantly.

Bewildered, Kirk watched the two Vulcan-human mind probes, and then turned questioning eyes to Spornak and Spivak.

Spornak offered softly, "McCoy has had nightmare-erasure before. Lisa's experience forced him to tap his own unpleasant, buried memories. Spock must repeat the erasure."

Spock and Spencek finished at nearly the same moment, and released their subjects.

"Okay." He shrugged. "I can't argue with success." He lay down as well. "Goodnight!"

About an hour later, Lisa screamed again. Reality can be nightmarish, too. Lisa had been seized by a pale, white-haired humanoid, whose appearance by contrast darkened even Lisa's fair skin.

Spencek leaped immediately to his feet, and the other three Vulcans instantly sat up, …and froze in place. Kirk jumped up and did a double-take at the four green-skinned statues. He charged at the alien, expecting at any moment to find himself stopped in mid-stride. McCoy rose and followed suit. The two had almost reached their goal of attacking the anemic invader clutching the squirming, squealing Lisa, when four more intruders appeared from among the bushes. Two grabbed Kirk and two restrained McCoy, and since the two humans went on struggling madly, all six went down to the ground in a double crash. Each human found himself seized by two powerful hands, one on each side of his waist, and squeezed agonizingly. Both humans bent double and lay in momentary blinding pain. By the time that Kirk and McCoy had recovered well enough to sit up, the five kidnappers were gone. And so was Lisa. The four Vulcans regained the power of motion simultaneously. They stood and regarded each other and the two suffering humans in deep, almost emotional shame.

"Aww!" Kirk grunted. "McCoy! You had to go and wish for a different part of the body to be victimized instead of the shoulder, that time in the brig, remember? Damn you for that!"

McCoy eyed the four in their company. "And don't you guys get any ideas! Don't try this one on us!"

Spock was stricken with guilt. "Gentlemen. I am deeply sorry that we failed you. I can only assure you that movement was suddenly impossible."

"We could see that, Spock," Kirk panted. "And we don't blame you." He struggled ineffectually to rise. Spock hurried to help him.

"Lisa." Spencek's face was a study in Vulcan control effort. "I could not save her." He forced himself to regain his composure, and helped McCoy to his feet.

"Well." Kirk sighed. "It's fairly evident what happened to us. Spock, any theories on what happened to you?" He certainly knew that if he focused the Vulcans' intellect on the technical details of their ordeal, it would help them to deal with what they perceived as their disgrace.

Spock answered, "Captain, I would surmise that the aliens have some sort of 'feedback' power which can immobilize all telepathic beings. That would explain why Vulcans are affected while humans are not."

McCoy observed, "So they had to subdue us by physical force. And brother, were they good at that! For once, I wish that I were telepathic; it would have been easier."

Spornak admitted, "This is most deflating. Not long ago, we encountered a creature on whom the nerve pinch did not function; and now we meet beings in whose presence we do not function."

McCoy couldn't resist a certain smugness. "Yes, well, I seem to remember a time recently when you put me in a spot in which I had to admit that being human was pretty embarrassing. I guess that the shoe is on the other foot now, isn't it? We couldn't defeat them but at least we could fight them."

"True, Doctor," Spivak conceded. "And I dislike letting humans fight my battles for me."

Spock nodded reluctantly. "We cannot perform the nerve pinch or tal-shaya on someone whom we cannot touch."

"I tried." He went on, "And I was nearest the creature. Without physical contact the mind probe is difficult, but not generally impossible. However in this case, it was impossible. I contacted nothing."

"Well." Spock brought them back to the immediate issue. "We must now determine a method for rescue of the ensign."

"Spock." Kirk was reluctant. "We'll have to tread carefully. We're here to make contact with these people, not to fight with them."

"Captain." Spencek was determined. "I do not know the alien's intention toward her, but you cannot allow her to be violated. She belongs to me. And further, she may be pregnant."

Spock pointed out, "It does happen, Captain, Doctor. Contrary to debasing rumor, I was neither hatched out of a bottle, nor genetically engineered; I was conceived normally. My parents were indeed mutually fertile."

Spock went on, "Those rumors were invented by humans who do not understand Vulcan ‘mysteries.’ But instead of asking questions, they invent stories. I find the practice most offensive."

Kirk said, "Yes, well. I find the capture of my ensign most offensive, too. But the question is, how to peacefully liberate her."

But McCoy was not through with Spencek. "She may be pregnant?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"All right, all right!" Kirk broke in, "The only possible course of action is that McCoy and I must go after her."

"Gentlemen." Kirk shook his head. "I sympathize with your reactions in this matter. But we're dealing with creatures who can immobilize you at a glance."

"They have to touch us first. We'll try to stay out of their hands." He turned to McCoy. "The only practical plan is stealth."

"Spock, when we were still on the ship, didn't you report that the alien town was honeycombed with ventilation ducts?"

"Can you give us the coordinates of the entrance nearest to our present position?"

"Affirmative, Captain." Spock called up the readings on the tricorder and presented them to Kirk, but continued to glance at McCoy.

Kirk shrugged impatiently. "This reminds him of when we had to crawl through ventilation ducts on the Intrepid of the parallel universe. I got him in there by warning him that he'd be nerve-pinched if he waited outside."

"No! And if you try to do to me what I saw your men do to Kirk and McCoy, I'll kick...!"

"No," he begged. "You do not understand. Even when I grabbed you, I did not do that to you. I need you. You do not have to fear me."

"Share your feelings. Do not back away from me. Let me go closer to you. Open your heart to me. I feel nothing."

The ventilator grill crashed noisily to the floor behind Margaf, an arm shot out of the opening, and phaser fire lanced across the room. Margaf was down instantly.

Lisa bolted for the opening. Kirk seized her and pulled her in after him, then ordered in a hoarse whisper, "McCoy! Move it! Back the way we came!"

McCoy commenced crawling, but whispered back, "How am I supposed to remember which way that was?! We should've taken time to have gotten out and exchanged places!"

"That would've been foolish! Keep going! I'll guide you! Now there! Take the fork to the left!"

"You couldn't even find engineering on the Intrepid! How did you find that room where Lisa was?!"

"I would've found engineering! We got caught, remember? Now turn right. Ensign, are you still back there?"

Vulcans do not pace. They do not fidget. They stand, or sit, and suffer silently, privately. Four of them were doing that, and wondering how long they could wait before they would be forced to take some kind of action, when three humans burst through the greenery in front of them.

Spencek was instantly on his feet, and taking Lisa by the upper arms. "Did they hurt you?"

Kirk could have sworn that there was a dangerous look in the Vulcan's eyes. He had the distinct feeling that if the answer were yes, Spencek would be more than all of the rest of them together could hold back from his revenge.

"We're not sure that there is a baby, remember? But if there is, he's all right."

"She," McCoy corrected, and held up his tricorder to prove it. "It's a she, and she's fine."

Spencek laid a gentle hand on Lisa's abdomen. He concentrated and then shook his head. "There is no mind yet. It is too soon."

But Spock answered, "That is normal, Ensign. Vulcan parents always contact the mind of their unborn child, to reassure it. My father contacted me."

As he spoke, Lisa progressed from skeptical and amused to awed and reverent. “Oh, that's sweet!" She smiled at Spencek. "Now I'm sorry that I can't."

"Let me put it this way: as if we didn't already know from looking at Spock, Vulcan genes are definitely dominate, and human genes are completely recessive." He looked her in the eye. "So you'd better prepare for a pointed-eared, green-blooded baby."

"And now, Ensign." Kirk at last felt safe to intrude. "Can you tell us about these aliens who abducted you? All that we heard through the grill was that the one who stole you wanted to get close to you." Kirk glanced at Spencek's face, and was immediately sorry that he'd put it that way.

"Androids. They wish that they could be biological and emotional entities like their creator, and like us. Their creator, Roran, is long dead, or just long gone; I don't know which. Anyway, he was human. The Ruler, Margaf, took me because I'm human, too. He hoped that he would be able to feel my feelings, if he got close enough. I don't know, I guess that he thought that being with me could make him human by association."

"Well, well, well!" McCoy was delighted. "Another alien who values human emotion, eh?"

"Wait'll those disemotionalizing Vulcans get a load of this planet, right Jim? The androids may not destroy those Vulcans, but they'll just...shut 'em off, freeze 'em!"

"I see that you are enjoying this, gentlemen," said Spock. "But we have a serious matter with which to concern ourselves: do we proceed with contact, or not?"

Kirk automatically sobered. "Oh. I'd say not. At least until we check with Starfleet. I'm sure that our superiors did not count on these people being androids. They may not wish to pursue this."

"I concur." Spock went on, "And now I have a further suggestion. An android society must be highly technological. And it will be imitative of other technology that it observes. On the chance that Starfleet may not prefer contact, we had better not demonstrate any of our technology that we can avoid revealing. Such as the transporter." He waited for the implication to sink in on the humans. It did.

Kirk sighed. "We must go back through the cave. And across the pit." He eyed Spornak uncomfortably.

Spock feigned harshness. “Yes, Doctor. And do not expect any pity after the way that you were just taunting us again.”

“Ow!” His hand went to his shoulder in anticipation. “It hurts already, just thinking about it!”

Lisa regarded Spencek uncertainly. "I...believe that you promised to...use the other shoulder?"

McCoy sidled cautiously away from them. "I'll just go the long way around the hill. I'll meet you on the other side."

The three humans looked at each other resignedly, and shrugged while it was still not painful to do so.

Tony Hardesty, who was on hand in the transporter room when the landing party beamed back up, stood wondering why the three humans in the group materialized with hands on their shoulders. Then he decided that he could probably guess why, although he still did not know the provocation behind the reason.

He tried to swallow his own nervousness, and stepped forward. "Captain?" He addressed Kirk first. "I wish to apologize for the...stupid stunt. Sir."

Then, with greater reluctance, he gingerly approached Spencek. "It's...going to be awkward working together now, isn't it, sir?"

"Well, uh, thanks for staying with me and not letting me die or something, both of you." Tony included Spornak with his eyes.

"It's my own fault. I should've known better than to fight a Vulcan." He turned to Lisa. "Lise? Still my friend?"

Lisa squeezed him in return. "Tony, I love you like a brother. The same way that I love my cousin, Oliver."

Tony was genuinely pleased. "Well, then I'm flattered, because Oliver's a great guy!" He released her.

McCoy couldn't resist putting one friendly hand on Tony's back, and one on Spencek's. "Now I'm glad to see you two behaving yourselves. And next time, just have a pillow fight."

McCoy nodded. "Sure, my boy, you'll live longer. Either way, the human loses, but my way, he loses less drastically. And then when you get tired of fighting, just take a nap on the weapons. Or under them."

Lisa said wistfully, "I wish that I could convince T'Rethe to just settle for a pillow fight. She's such an ominous threat hanging over me. I know that you and Mr. Spock would protect me if you were there, Spencek, but…."

"You need concern yourself no further over her," Spencek guaranteed. "She will not touch you."

"The danger will be at an end the moment that T'Rethe learns that you are carrying a Vulcan child."

"And even after your daughter is born," Spock agreed, "there will be no risk. You will be the mother of a Vulcan child, and therefore vital and inviolable."

Moments later, Kirk stepped into the gym and joined Spock and McCoy in watching Spencek instructing Tony Hardesty in the use of the ahn-woon.

Tony noticed the growing audience and smiled. "This is so that I'll be better prepared in the future." His eyes twinkled at McCoy. "I just don't think that pillows are quite for me." Then he looked back at Spencek. "But I guess that fists aren't either."

Then Kirk became aware of the other observers in the room, Spornak and Spivak off to the right, and to his left, Lisa and T'Rethe standing together.

Kirk nudged McCoy and whispered, "I guess that Spock and Spencek were right that it would make a big difference."

From where he stood idle, Spornak looked over to tease Kirk. "Care for a rematch, Captain?"

Kirk did so. "No, I...think that I'll sit this one out." But then he loudly requested of McCoy, "Bones? What's our next April Fool joke against these characters?"

Spivak queried, "Mr. Spock? Did you not suggest that the next human to pretend to be disemotionalized truly shall be?"

McCoy protested, "Now Spock, you wouldn't do that to your blood brother, would you?"

"Are you kidding? It saved our necks!" And then McCoy mumbled, "And they say that bloodletting never saved a life."

"You mean about disemotionalizing me? You'll be bored if you remove my quarrelsome emotions," McCoy suggested.

"Interesting," commented Spock. "That is just about what my mother said. Perhaps we should settle for punishing you by carrying you across a snake pit."

Kirk offered, "You could just make Bones crawl through the ship's ventilation ducts."

Spock went on, "Or on the other hand, we might punish you by enforced mountain climbing."

"I've got a right," McCoy declared. "You know, come to think of it, I really have been through a lot lately: disemotionalization threats, crawling through ventilation shafts, mountain climbing, snake pits!"

"True, Doctor," Spock concurred. "And we are not without sympathy. In fact, Spencek, Spornak, Spivak, and I will help you to get a good night's sleep tonight."

Spock explained, "We will provide you with a large comforting pile of pillows...on top of you."

Ten months later, Spencek and Spornak had just wrapped up another ahn-woon practice session, with an approving Spivak as audience.

"Shall we proceed to the sickbay?" Spornak suggested. "I feel the need to also hone our human-teasing skills today. And McCoy is frequently, in that regard, a worthy opponent."

"I will join you presently," Spencek provisionally concurred. "But first, I must check in with Lisa in our quarters, to see whether she or T'Lora might be in need of me."

"A new baby is always in need." Spornak nodded. "And a human mother would certainly benefit from Vulcan assistance."

Upon Spencek's entry of his quarters, the accuracy of Spornak's statement was immediately apparent. He was met by a frustrated wife and a crying baby, and it was evident that both conditions had prevailed for quite some time.

"Neither!" Lisa shoved an exhausted hand through her hair, having clearly been down both avenues thoroughly.

Calmly, Spencek reached a careful hand to the baby's head for a gentle mind touch. T'Lora instantly quieted.

Lisa watched with unconcealed envy. "It drives me crazy that I can't do that!" she fussed tiredly.

"Very soon, it will be less necessary," Spencek reassured her. "She will cry much less often. I am already beginning to impart an element of emotional control to her. I strengthen it each time that I soothe her."

Instead of appreciation, Lisa's eyes filled with doubt. "Spencek, please don't force that too soon. She may not be ready…."

"I am following the standard infantile schedule," he assured her. "A baby must begin to learn this while very young."

Spencek was unoffended. "She looks Vulcan. If she does not also act Vulcan, she will not be accepted by either side."

With tender eyes, Spencek reached out his next mind touch to her, and communicated through it the love that he would never express aloud, and concluded with the voiceless promise, "T'Lora will feel the same." He withdrew his mind.

Lisa smiled at him gratefully, and then observed truthfully, "I should be completely thankful for your mind control techniques; I really should. I was certainly glad that you controlled my mind during the birth."

Spencek reminded her, "McCoy would have given you a shot if I had not been there to hypnotize you."

Lisa nodded, and then remarked, "Can you imagine, they used to let women just lie there and suffer? Barbarians!"

"Oh no! I'm referring to that in-between time, when they had developed medication to help, but didn't use it! They wanted to be 'natural'!" Lisa made a face. "Translation: miserable! It was a fad for a while on Earth; I read about it in a history text."

Lisa decided to tease, "I had no doubt that you'd agree with me on that; Vulcans don't go in for 'natural'; there's nothing natural about emotional suppression!"

Spencek declined to take the bait, causing Lisa to momentarily wonder why, until he said, "Lisa, as I am sure that you are aware, we will not be allowed to keep T'Lora on the Enterprise with us. As her emotional control strengthens, the time rapidly approaches when we shall be required to send her planetside to be raised. My parents have volunteered to bring her up on Vulcan."

Lisa listened motionlessly as tears stung her eyes. She whispered, "I knew that that was coming. I hoped, not this soon."

Spencek tilted her face up to his. "I know that we will miss her. We will visit often."

"Perhaps someday crewmen will be permitted to keep their children on board ship with them, but not at present."

Lisa leaned against Spencek's chest and let the tears run. She found herself wishing, if the timing of the separation depended upon the rate of development of T'Lora's emotional control, that the baby might manage to cry more, rather than less, often.

Possibly the tiny telepath responded to her mother's feelings. For, at that moment, she cried.

After having comforted both wife and daughter with a therapeutic mind meld, and then left them to rest, Spencek proceeded to sickbay to rejoin his comrades, where he found the tormenting of McCoy in full swing. The human was already red-faced and livid. Spencek was not totally in a teasing frame of mind, but upon hearing McCoy's "Oh no! Not another one!" upon his entry, he found participation irresistible. By the time that the three Vulcans left the flustered human in peace, Spencek realized that the session had been properly therapeutic for him in turn.

Meanwhile, a fairly well-recovered Lisa, now on shift, had reported to the science department to recommence work. Soon after, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak entered together.

Partly to reassure her husband, and partly from a genuine desire for fun, Lisa smiled at them. "I know that look: you've been picking on Dr. McCoy again, haven't you?"

The Vulcans observed her with a predatory regard, which, in Spencek, was combined with a faint hint of pleasure at her evidently improved mental state.

Captain James T. Kirk gathered McCoy, Scott, Sulu, and Chekov in the briefing room to discuss their next assignment.

McCoy wondered, "Shouldn't Spock be here? And Lieutenant Spencek, and Lieutenant Spornak?"

"No, I don't think so, Bones." Kirk looked uncomfortable. "We have a problem. An awkward one." He pressed a button. "Computer. On screen."

An image appeared on the viewscreen of an unsmiling human male, with longish blond hair combed straight forward in the Vulcan style.

Kirk announced, "Name, Illya Solo. Founder of a movement advocating logic and non-emotion for humans. A great admirer of Vulcans. Sees himself in the role of a modern-day Surak; calls himself 'Solo' only, using an S-name as a Vulcan would. Preaches that Earth could have prevented its world wars, including the eugenics war, if it had simply adopted non-emotion long ago. Has quite a few followers, and their numbers are growing. Got permission to colonize planet Vandress before the Federation got wind of their real purpose. Now Starfleet has become uncomfortable with the use to which Solo's putting the planet, and the Enterprise is being sent to investigate."

Kirk paused long enough to note that each of his human companions was either frowning or shifting unconsciously in his seat. The Captain nodded. "I protested that the assignment was too sensitive for a mixed Vulcan-human ship, but Starfleet disregarded that and sent us anyway. I have no doubt that Solo will try to convert our humans and enlist our Vulcans to assist him."

McCoy shook his head once. "I can see why you wanted to talk to us separately first, Jim, but you're going to have to tell them."

"I know." Kirk sighed. "I'm not going to enjoy it. For one thing, it's embarrassing. After all, one of our own kind...." He rubbed his forehead.

"And for another thing," Kirk went on, "in a situation such as this, just how far do we trust our own Vulcans?"

McCoy regarded him solemnly. "I guess this will be the ultimate test, won't it? And you get to tell the Vulcans. I don't envy you."

After his human officers had departed, Kirk called Spock, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak to the briefing room, and faced them reluctantly.

Kirk cleared his throat and continued, "There's a renegade human who's...causing some trouble. He has quite a few followers. They...feel that we humans should all...follow your Vulcan example of non-emotion and logic," he finished suddenly in a rush. Then he looked up and faced them.

Kirk went on bravely, "His name is Illya Solo, but he goes by just plain 'Solo': he sees himself as a latter-day Surak."

Kirk nodded. "I feel...awkward about this. I admire your people very much, but I have no desire to emulate you; my emotions mean a great deal to me."

Spock observed, "However, our way does give us a solution to an age-old problem."

Kirk countered, "Yes, but I like to think that we've found our own solution: not to go around declaring war and committing violence right and left. Our solution is...moderation."

Spencek ventured, "Captain, do you feel awkward because you doubt our performance on this mission?"

Kirk hastened, "No one's accusing you of disloyalty. But…." He spread his hands helplessly. "I guess that I don't see how you can possibly side against him."

Kirk insisted, "I'm positive. But I knew that one of you would ask that. You see? You are sympathetic to him. You can't help but be. And I don't blame you for that, but I just don't want to see us become a divided ship, that's all."

Spivak said, "Yet you admit that this issue automatically divides us: our humans cannot possibly join him, and our Vulcans certainly cannot disagree with him."

Spornak observed astutely, "And you yourself divided the briefings: one for humans, and one for Vulcans."

"I admit that," Kirk conceded. "The humans would have been uncomfortable in your presence during the initial revelation of the situation."

Spivak theorized, "Is it possible that your discomfort arises from the fact that you yourself wonder if Solo could be right?"

Spornak picked it up, "And that while you personally find the choice of non-emotion distasteful, you cannot escape the possibility that future human generations might benefit if your people made such a sacrifice now. "

Spencek surmised, "And then you experience guilt at what you interpret as your own selfish refusal to consider their best interests above your arbitrary preference."

Kirk studied his fingers instead of meeting their eyes. "Are you probing my mind right now? Is that where you're getting all of this?"

Spock reassured him, "No, Jim, we are not violating your privacy with a mind probe. It was just a logical conclusion in response to your uneasiness."

Spivak suggested, "But if you genuinely experience such self-doubts, Captain, don't you owe it to your species to consider all possibilities?"

"And," Spornak extended the thought one step farther, "perhaps we have now uncovered the true reason for your disquiet in regard to the parallel universe in which Vulcans are disemotionalizing humans. Perhaps you have been wondering all along whether those humans might, in the long run, derive benefits from their enforced adherence to the Vulcan way."

"And now," Spivak concluded, "you humans here have the option of joining us voluntarily. Perhaps you should consider it."

"Captain's log, Star Date 7111.7. We have assumed standard orbit around Vandress as ordered. I am sending down a landing party, as instructed, but not without a degree of uneasiness."

Throughout his charismatic speech, Solo's gray eyes flashed hypnotically. He could strike either fear or inspiration in the hearts of his human listeners while displaying no emotion of his own. He could elicit approval in the minds of his Vulcan listeners with a dazzling demonstration of effortless logic.

Spornak and Spivak were impressed. Sulu and Chekov were angered. Spencek was torn. He was undeniably impressed with Solo's skills and logic; that was inevitable. But his own divided loyalty, his own divided family, confused, for him, the issue. He said little when Solo approached the Enterprise landing party at the conclusion of the presentation.

Solo addressed the Vulcans first, "I am honored that you could attend. It is my hope that I did you proper credit."

"You may indeed succeed in convincing your people, where we have failed to do so," Spivak conjectured.

Spencek was not surprised at his companions' statements. Any Vulcans who already had a tendency to believe that the Vulcan way would also be the future course of human evolution, could not fail to be swayed by Solo's commanding presence. He would be seen as the catalyst for humanity's next evolutionary step.

"You will not convince me!" Chekov blurted, too furious to care whether or not he offended his Vulcan shipmates and ahn-woon instructors. "You are a traitor to the human race, and what's more, a betrayer of our common Russian heritage! With a name like Illya, you are certain to have some Russian ancestry, but you are a disgrace to the name and no kin of mine!"

Solo refused to be baited, and merely tilted a brow in the Vulcan fashion. "I do not use that name; in fact. I answer only to Solo."

More in control than Chekov, but obviously realizing the practical strategy in trying to get the unflappable human to take offense and reveal anger, Sulu joined in, "And I am ashamed of the similarity in our two names. One only has to change one vowel twice to get from your name to mine, and I don't like it. And I don't like what you're trying to do to our species. We're Earth: love it or leave it!"

"I have left it," Solo reminded him, unruffled. "And there will be other humans among your shipmates who will be more responsive to me."

Once back aboard the Enterprise, Spencek returned to his quarters to find an obviously uncomfortable Lisa.

"Spencek, ...I've been wondering if.... Well, do you want me to change? To become...uh...logical? Especially for the sake of the baby?"

Spencek took her by the upper arms and peered intently into her face. "I want you to be whatever you want to be."

It wasn't quite teasing anymore. From the moment that Lisa reported for work in the science department, Spornak and Spivak made unsettling suggestions to her.

"Yes, I know," Lisa replied tiredly. "I'm told that Solo's quite the effective speaker."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lisa muttered under her breath. Human ears would not have caught the mumbled utterance, but Vulcan ears, to her dismay, did.

“For the sake of your husband and your baby, you must give our way a chance,” Spornak insisted.

Lisa lost her temper. “Do you think that I haven’t thought of that?! But I asked Spencek, and he told me to be what I want to be!"

"And what would T'Lora say? It is a pity that she cannot as yet express an opinion," Spivak ventured.

"In any case," Spornak went on, "I hardly think that Spencek would quarrel with you if you wished to convert. Listen to Solo. Give consideration to both sides.”

Ensign Lisa Hollister waited for the transporter beam to take her. She realized that she was as nervous to meet Solo as she had previously been when meeting the Vulcans in her department for the very first time. Spornak and Spivak were beaming down with her; they flanked her on either side. She wished that she could find their familiar presence a comfort, but she did not. She wondered whether she should have informed Spencek that she was going, although it would have been difficult to do so. He was temporarily unavailable. He and Spock were engaged in a scientific research project of their own. At times, Spornak and Spivak also disappeared to work on it with them. Lisa was not disturbed; she knew that she could not expect to be let in on everything in the department; she was only an ensign. At least her two Vulcan companions had requested and received Captain Kirk's permission to beam down again; she'd made certain of that.

The ship's transporter deposited the three in Vandress' main gathering hall, just as it had with the previous landing party. This time, Solo was not making a major speech to a multitude, but giving a small talk to a more intimate group of followers. He eyed the newcomers, but did not interrupt himself. His famed charisma was instantly apparent to Lisa, and she squirmed uncomfortably between two strict Vulcans as she listened to an eloquent human extol the virtues of the Vulcanian way. Despite Solo's blond hair, despite his gray eyes, despite his gently curving brows, and despite his rounded ears, the human still somehow managed to appear Vulcanoid. It could only be his aloof stoicism, she realized. That ephemeral quality seemed to twist his human features into sharper, harsher angles. And his unsmiling somber nature somehow darkened his visage to the necessary degree to compensate for his natural pale coloration.

Solo finished what he was saying, and walked unhurriedly over to Lisa Hollister, Spornak, and Spivak. "Have you brought me a recruit?" he inquired seriously.

"She should consider your way, as we have told her," Spornak corrected. "She has married a Vulcan, and she has borne a Vulcan. Her husband is Spencek, who accompanied us earlier."

Lisa shifted in distress. "Isn't it possible that Spencek likes my strong human feelings? After all, he chose me."

Spivak replied, "I doubt that those are the qualities for which he selected you."

One of Solo's followers approached the group then, and Lisa had to look twice to convince herself that the female was not actually Vulcan, but human. Her jet black hair was pulled severely back; she had shaped and darkened her brows in the Vulcan fashion; and her expression was cold. But her ears were rounded. Lisa found herself wondering if the woman wouldn't eventually find a way to solve that inconvenience, too.

"T'Mara," the female introduced herself. At Lisa's startled look, she explained ruefully, "I was given the name Mara at birth. I have chosen to call myself T'Mara, in the Vulcan way. In fact, it is a prophetically appropriate name, because our way is the way of 'tomorrow'," she stressed.

Solo offered to the two Vulcan visitors, "We are learning your ways, perhaps better than you realize." With that, he carefully positioned his fingers on T'Mara's shoulder and nerve-pinched her, by way of demonstration.

Solo remarked, "Possibly our one remaining human emotional failing, is that we are proud of such accomplishments. The nerve pinch is especially practical. I liken it to a karate chop: it is performed on the same location on the body, but it is less violent, and more civilized, like all of Vulcan. Shall I show you?" He looked at Lisa.

"No!" She backed away hastily. "It has already been done to me before, twice, by my husband. I don't need to be shown what it's like."

Spornak regarded her lack of enthusiasm disparagingly. "I am impressed by your achievement, Solo," he assured the blond.

Upon returning to their science department aboard ship, Spornak and Spivak found it immediately apparent that they had incurred Spencek's wrath.

In cold, calculatedly dispassionate tones, he informed them that upon completion of a stage of the private project with Spock, Spencek had emerged to discover that Spornak and Spivak were missing, and with them, his wife. Upon inquiry to Captain Kirk, he had uncovered their whereabouts. He was most displeased. Their motives were obvious to him. They had overstepped their bounds.

"Maybe you're right," Chekov was saying to Sulu on their way to the ship's gym. "But I was angry with Solo."

"So was I," Sulu admitted. "But I think that that's just because we felt threatened by him and his movement."

"I suppose so," Chekov confessed reluctantly. "And you're probably right that we became too hostile. Do you really think that we offended Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak?"

The gym doors parted, and they entered...to see Spencek and Spornak already engaged in ahn-woon combat without them. It only took seconds for Sulu and Chekov to realize that they were not seeing ordinary ahn-woon "fun and games," but actual combat. Spencek and Spornak were truly at odds for the very first time.

The two humans stared aghast. Then Sulu hit the intercom. "Security to ship's gym, on the double!"

Kirk, hearing the call, raced to the gym and entered with the two security men: all three with phasers drawn and set on stun.

Spornak observed their weapons dispassionately, and remarked, "It would seem that humans cannot dare to confront Vulcans without a well-aimed phaser."

Kirk's jaw tensed, but then he challenged, "Is this your perfect solution? Fighting between yourselves like emotional beings?"

That touched a nerve. Spornak's head rose slightly in proud Vulcan defiance, and Spencek's lowered in humble acknowledgement.

Chekov whispered to Sulu, "What was it that you said about it being hard to offend a Vulcan?"

Meanwhile, Nurse Christine Chapel had self-consciously sought out Mr. Spock. "Sir? I don't know how best to say this, so maybe I'd better just come right out with it."

Chapel tried not to grow impatient. "You know how I feel about you, Mr. Spock. Would it help you to want me if I became...logical?"

Spock's head pulled back as if struck. He replied tersely, "If you became logical, you would stop pursuing me. I have told you that I am not interested. Your behavior is once again inappropriate." He wheeled and walked away from her.

A sullen Kirk, a reticent Spock, and a concerned McCoy met in the briefing room to discuss the Solo-induced deterioration among the crew.

"I knew that this would happen!" Kirk flared irritably. "I told Starfleet that it should send an all-human ship, but no, the brass wouldn’t listen! It was sure that we could handle this; it has so much faith in us. Maybe there's such a thing as having too good a reputation. And now here we go already! But even I didn't expect to find Spencek and Spornak fighting between themselves, and in physical combat yet!"

McCoy commented, "Fortunately, neither one had serious injuries. It's just a lucky thing that Sulu and Chekov happened upon them when they did."

Kirk came back at him, "Yes, well those two humans thought that they were on their way to have a lesson in the use of that damned Vulcan weapon when they entered the gym. Can you imagine what we would've found if Spencek had been in combat like that with Sulu, and Spornak with Chekov, instead of the two Vulcans together? So much for Vulcanian nonviolence!"

McCoy nodded. "Chekov has thought of that. He told me that he and Sulu had wondered whether they'd offended Spencek and Spornak, and for that matter, Spivak, down on Vandress when they’d quarreled with Solo in front of our Vulcans. Chekov feels that he and Sulu got off lightly."

"It's not over yet, Doctor!" Kirk snapped. "We don't know what'll happen yet before this thing's over! And I still don't even know what we're looking for. Our orders are to...'nose around'...snoop. I have a feeling that Starfleet would like it if I'd find an excuse to shut Solo down, disband the colony. He makes our human officials very uneasy. But what is there to find?!"

McCoy shrugged, and then said, "You've been very quiet, Spock. Don't you have anything to contribute?"

Spock stated stiffly, "It would seem that this new controversy has driven at least one of our human crewmen to new heights of emotional unprofessionalism."

"She suggested that she might join Solo's movement as an attempt to garner my...romantic approval." He stared straight ahead and looked at neither human.

It was just as well. McCoy struggled hard not to laugh, and even Kirk lightened up a little.

Spock proceeded firmly, "She is vivid proof of the irrationality of emotionalism."

Kirk tried, "Well now, Spock, one thing that you've got to give her credit for is inventiveness."

Spock was not impressed. He continued, "Although I do not want her, non-emotion would be a distinct improvement in her character, because it would make her stop her shameless pursuit of me. Therefore, in retrospect, perhaps I should have encouraged her."

Kirk's more relaxed face faded once more to grim. McCoy frowned slightly with him. They exchanged a significant look. Spock was taking this aspect of it far too seriously. For him to suggest that any human, for any reason, should convert…. Must they now begin to wonder even about him?

Having parted from Spock, Kirk and McCoy continued on down the corridor together somberly, discussing the fact that, if Solo's attempt to convert the crew had actually touched Spock, even in a small way, it might be time to call in the next nearest starship to render assistance, just as a precaution.

They proceeded to Kirk's quarters to privately put in the call to Starfleet Command Headquarters, to request aid. Their request was approved. Unfortunately. The next nearest starship was the U.S.S. Intrepid. Ambassador Sarek was even currently aboard. Starfleet would divert the ship immediately.

They were not the only ones sending a communication. Nurse Chapel was also doing so from her private quarters. She sent a message to the planet Vandress, on visual. She talked to Solo himself, and stated her wish to join the movement. But Solo questioned her motives, because while conversing with him, she smiled and showed her feelings. In response to his challenge, she confessed her love for Spock. Solo promptly rejected her petition.

Furious and humiliated, Chapel charged out of her quarters and to the medical lab, chancing to pass Spock on the way. Reddening dramatically, she gave him a wide berth, raging privately that it was bad enough to be rejected by a Vulcan, but that she couldn't even be accepted by a human with Vulcan tendencies.

Spock was certainly not displeased by her avoidance, although he undoubtedly assumed that it was simply due to her quite appropriate shame at having thrown herself at him again.

The Intrepid arrived promptly. To Kirk's chagrin. Ambassador Sarek was beamed over to discuss the matter with Kirk.

"I offer my ambassadorial services. I am the ideal choice to talk with Solo," Sarek offered.

Kirk pulled back as if stung. "What do you mean...'either'," he asked self-consciously.

Sarek stated flatly, "I already know that you no longer trust my son. He has told me."

Kirk could not let their impression stand. He could not allow Spock and Sarek to go on thinking that he did not trust them. He had to do something that would make a dramatic statement to the effect that he did, in fact, have faith in them.

That was why he summoned Sarek, Spock, and McCoy to the briefing room, and informed them that he was sending Spock and McCoy to Vandress together on a reconnaissance mission to spy on Solo and his people.

The two Vulcans were noticeably impressed; Kirk was, in effect, entrusting McCoy to Spock.

McCoy, however, flashed Kirk a lingering look that Kirk tried hard not to interpret correctly.

Once again, McCoy's doubt was obvious to Spock. And Spock was disappointed in him.

McCoy's reluctance to go on the planetside mission was reflected in his hesitant sluggish pace through the corridors of the large building built for and claimed by Illya Solo and his followers.

McCoy irritably blurted without thinking, "Will you be patient; I'm only human!"

Spock nodded, but was still amused. He sobered again quickly, however, as he heard an extensive number of voices coming from a room just ahead of them. Aware that a human could not travel as soundlessly as a Vulcan, and that there might be some danger involved in eavesdropping on potential adversaries about which there was still too little data, Spock addressed McCoy, "Stay here."

McCoy was not alone for long when a blond, stoic, commanding presence appeared noiselessly from a side corridor. McCoy recognized him at once as the leader, Illya Solo, from the viewscreen image in the initial briefing.

"Dr. Leonard McCoy," the more-human human responded, trying to decide whether to offer his hand or the Vulcan salute, assuming that he could even manage to present the latter.

Solo went closer to McCoy and reached, but not to shake hands. To McCoy's evident astonishment and dismay, Solo nerve-pinched him.

When McCoy painfully awoke in a dimly-lit room sometime later, his first coherent thought was to wonder how the renegade blond had found him that fast unless he’d been tipped off by Spock. His second was to wonder why he seemed to be hearing Kirk's voice. He roused himself with difficulty and struggled to listen.

"... And I will continue to hold McCoy until you accede to my demands," came Solo's nearby voice. He was clearly in the same room with the doctor.

"But why a ship?!" Kirk's voice bellowed in frustration from the speaker. "Where do you need to go?"

"That is not your concern. Deliver it to me, one large enough to transport all of my people, and I will release your medical officer." Solo signed off and left the room.

Kirk sat staring at the now silent communicator panel. One thought would not stop echoing in his mind: when McCoy was abducted, where was Spock? Where was Spock???

Spock was well-positioned to hear every word that the roomful of followers said.

"It has to be well before the spaceflight capability was even reached," said one.

"That will not even be sufficient," answered another. "I would recommend going back several thousand years."

"I agree," spoke a third. "The earlier non-emotion is introduced in our people, the better it will have become engrained by this century."

"I concur," voiced a fourth. "Since the Guardian can send us indiscriminately to any era, we should take maximum advantage of the opportunity to eradicate as many Earthly wars as possible, by extinguishing emotion at a very early date."

"Yes," said someone else. "Surak transformed his people five thousand years ago. Perhaps Solo should deliberately aim for the same period on our planet."

"It would be fitting," another agreed. "It would be yet another appropriate tribute to the great Surak. And an honor to know that we would be living out our lives at the same time as he, albeit on a different world."

Spock withdrew from his concealment. He had heard enough. The Vulcan slipped quietly back to the place where he had left McCoy. And discovered the doctor missing. Spock was perplexed and tempted to search for the human, but he knew that it was of paramount importance that he return his new-found vital information to Kirk immediately. Spock signaled the ship for beam-up.

At Spock's request, Kirk allowed the first officer to make his presentation to a large assembly which included Sarek, Spencek, Spornak, Spivak, and the captain in the briefing room.

Spock revealed Solo's secretive intentions as regarded the Guardian of Forever, and concluded, "This is completely unacceptable. Solo must not be allowed to tamper with time. We have seen the extreme hazards involved in even the slightest alteration of events. Solo proposes to alter the planet Earth unrecognizably. The potential repercussions of that, not only to all of Earth itself, but even to the entirety of the Federation, are inexcusable. Solo must be stopped.”

Kirk nodded, also, and wanted to smile. He was convinced, too. He was convinced of Spock’s sincerity.

Spock, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak, now united against the movement, beamed down together and methodically searched room after room in the general area in which McCoy had been lost.

On numerous occasions, they nerve-pinched individuals or whole groups of Solo’s followers, leaving an impressive trail of unconscious human bodies in their wake. No doubt some of their victims, before blacking out, wondered fleetingly why such potential allies were turning against them.

Presently, they located a room containing a tied-up McCoy. Spornak and Spivak stood watch at the door while Spock and Spencek worked at McCoy’s bonds.

McCoy informed them ruefully, "Solo nerve-pinched me! And it hurt worse than when you guys do it!"

Spock commented, "His technique is undoubtedly still crude. Unconsciousness did not come as rapidly as it should have."

"I’ll never go along with what Solo wants: this non-emotion business; and now I know too much: I heard them talking about Earth history and the Guardian. Solo will probably kill me." McCoy speculated ruefully, "By now, he's probably learned to do tal-shaya, and his technique is probably crude on that, too."

Just as the human was getting stiffly to his feet, Spornak's acute Vulcan ears heard a group of Solo's people passing by the door of their room. He put up a hand to warn his companions to be silent, but McCoy did not see, and started to speak.

Thinking quickly, Spock seized McCoy's upper left arm from behind, and put his own right hand over McCoy's mouth to silence him.

All occupants of the room remained very still, until Spornak motioned that the danger was past.

"That's all right." McCoy was free of resentment. "Thank you for not pinching me."

Without further incident, the group beamed back aboard, to be greeted by a very relieved, also beaming, Kirk.

Ostensibly to negotiate with Solo over the needed ship, and over the as-yet-undiscovered-released McCoy, Sarek beamed down to Vandress. With Solo's attention thoroughly occupied by the honor of a visit from the prestigious ambassador, it was easy for Spock, having beamed into a nearby chamber, to silently make his way to Sarek and Solo, coming in behind the latter and pinching him a great deal more efficiently than the human had pinched McCoy.

The two Vulcans and the unconscious human leader were transported back aboard the Enterprise.

Illya Solo sat quiescently in the briefing room, refraining even now from any display of emotion. However, he made one last appeal to the several Vulcans surrounding him at the table. "You should be on my side."

Spock explained, "While human emotions can be annoying and discordant, the humans should not be forced to change. You were going to take the decision away from them."

"Only by convincing their ancestors just as your ancestors were convinced back then," Solo countered smoothly.

Spock reminded him, "But our ancestors were persuaded by their contemporaries, not by interfering invaders from their future."

"Now, as to your disposition." Spock went on, "Starfleet's proscribed penalty would be incarceration. However, I have requested and received permission to offer you an appropriate Vulcan alternative."

"The five of us," Spock said as he indicated the other four Vulcans in the room, "can perform a rehabilitation by mind probe, as is occasionally done with criminals on our planet. Your tendencies to tamper with Earth's development, past or present, will be removed. You may retain your respect for our culture if you like. But your inclination to lead revolutions will be eliminated."

The five Vulcans proceeded at once. A short while later, Spock called Kirk on the bridge to inform him that the procedure had been successful.

Solo surprised Kirk by asking to see him. And then surprised him again by requesting permanent assignment to the science department of the Enterprise. Kirk was slightly uneasy at the thought, but Spock assured him that Solo truly was reformed, and that he was a brilliant scientist in his own right. Kirk granted the posting.

Ensign Lisa Hollister was considerably more uneasy at the prospect of working with him, but rapidly, Solo learned from the Vulcans around him to tease her.

The rest of Solo's people were necessarily dispersed. The most complicated one to relocate was T'Mara. She felt that she could no longer live among her own kind, and asked permission to live on Vulcan. It was granted.

Kirk, McCoy, Lisa Hollister, Sarek, and Illya Solo were invited to a demonstration of the invention secretly worked on and perfected by Spock, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak. The audience entered the lab and waited expectantly for the inventors' presentation.

"The device is interdimensional," Spock explained. "It allows parallel universes to be viewed without being visited. You had wondered, Doctor, how many more parallel universes awaited us. With this mechanism, we can look in on them."

Spock offered the first choice to Kirk. "I can dial in whichever alternate reality you would care to see, Captain. Do you have a preference?"

"Yes." Kirk nodded enthusiastically. "I'm eager to know whether the bearded Spock of the 'Mirror' universe took my advice, and replaced his Kirk, so that he could work toward a more benevolent government as the new captain of the Enterprise."

The haziness of the device's screen cleared, and an image appeared of the formidable bearded Spock sitting in the captain's seat, and in front of him, at helm and navigation, Sulu and Chekov. As they watched, Spock rose, barked a terse order to Sulu, and exited the bridge.

Chekov took the opportunity to address Sulu, "Mr. Spock is so peculiar now. He was ruthless to Kirk, not that I minded seeing that tin god with his neck broken, after he'd sentenced me to the agony booth! But now, Spock is being so lenient with dissenting planets. It does not make sense! I would like to buck Spock myself, but I think that I do not want my own neck broken."

Sulu shook his head. "You can fight him if you want to. Not me! Some time ago, he reminded me rather uh...pointedly...that his operatives would avenge his death, and that some of them are Vulcans. That was enough for me! And I don't think that I have to remind you that tal-shaya is only one of various means of retribution that Vulcans employ."

The watchers in their own universe exchanged looks as the clean-shaven Spock switched off the screen.

Kirk's hand went to his neck self-consciously. "Well." He cleared his throat. "Spock took over, like I...wanted."

McCoy observed ruefully, "And the very belligerent and rambunctious Sulu and Chekov are thoroughly under Spock's thumb."

Spivak quipped, "It would seem that we strike terror in the hearts of humans everywhere."

"Very funny." McCoy was sarcastic. Then he asked, "Spock, I have a request. I'd like to look in on the universe that Jim and I most recently visited, where Vulcans are busy disemotionalizing humans. I'd like to see if our people are turning the tables on them."

McCoy lay in his assigned bedroom in Sarek's house. It had now been many months since Spock had disemotionalized and enslaved him and Kirk. McCoy stared blindly at the lightless ceiling and tried to remember how he'd felt when Spock had taken away his emotions. Intellectually, he was aware that he had regarded the experience as nightmarish, but try as he might, he couldn’t even recall how the fear had felt. Inside, he was empty.

McCoy wondered if calling up the exact images of the moment might reawaken the emotions that he'd had. In his mind's eye, he made himself see once again Spock's face vividly approaching his, the cold, unyielding Vulcan eyes penetrating his, as the long alien fingers pressed against his temple. He glanced to the left and saw clearly Sarek's formidable, merciless face, dispassionately studying the proceedings, there to enforce Spock's control of the human if necessary. McCoy heard himself scream in anguish, as his mind was ungently invaded, and his tender human emotions were dissolved like bubbles being washed down a drain by a relentless torrent of frigid water. It had indeed been traumatic for McCoy. But now he felt nothing. He knew now that his disemotionalization would be the last trauma that he would ever face. And the last feeling of any kind. Unless….

Did he dare? McCoy reached into his pajama-pocket and gingerly felt the forbidden device that a rebel human had slipped to him that morning. He had been hearing rumors of such gadgets. Available on the black market. Re-emotionalizers. Their possession carried stiff penalties if discovered by the Vulcan masters. But McCoy was not afraid. How could he be? His fear was dead.

McCoy pulled out the compact machine and pressed it to his forehead. He threw the switch. Vivid fear flooded into his mind like a dam breaking: fear of Spock, fear of Sarek, fear of all Vulcan masters. His heart rate soared; his palms soaked; he barely suppressed a gasp.

As he struggled for calm, McCoy's first reaction was doubt: was he glad that he'd done this, or sorry? Terror was darned unpleasant. His second reaction was elation: he'd regained not only fear, but the entire spectrum of emotions; joy and love were his once again, too. His third reaction was determination: he must share this achievement with others. His fourth reaction was fear again: he must not get caught. He suddenly remembered the punishment for use of the gadget: the specific master of the offender, in his case either Spock or Sarek, must fear-torture the hapless, helpless human by assuming the tal-shaya position and retaining it for a lengthy period, exerting minimum pressure numerous times, speaking cruelly and sadistically for the entire prolonged interval, and keeping the human terrified all the while, stopping only when the victim reached emotional exhaustion. Then relieving him by renewed disemotionalization.

McCoy went cold all over, but this time it was not the cold of emotional numbness; it was the cold sweat of terror. He did not want to feel a Vulcan hand on the tender place on his neck. He did not want to see dark merciless eyes stare into his in the frigid Vulcan version of anger. He did not want to hear pitiless threats spoken in relentless Vulcan monotone. And he did not want to suffer disemotionalization violation again.

McCoy forced the possibilities from his mind. This would get him nowhere. Maybe the Vulcans were right: maybe emotions immobilized humans and rendered them inefficient, he told himself angrily. It was time to act.

McCoy slipped cautiously from his bed, and stole across the hall to Kirk's room. He tiptoed inside and shook his friend and fellow-slave gently.

"This does!" McCoy pulled it out and showed it, as if he held a trophy of which he were particularly proud.

"Bones." Kirk sat up and reminded him sternly, "They will torture you without mercy or pity. And it will matter to you now that you're emotional. They will take advantage of the very feelings that you've resurrected, in order to make you suffer: a very ironic punishment indeed."

"Are you enjoying this?! I know all of these facts!" McCoy sat down beside Kirk on the bed, shoulder-to-shoulder. "I'm offering you the chance to join me." He held out the device to his friend and former captain.

"Does this thing bring insanity with it? Because you are crazy. Or perhaps it triggers suicidal impulses. Because you're displaying them. Or murderous tendencies. Because you're trying to get me killed, too. Maybe the Vulcans are right: maybe emotion is a form of insanity. Bones, this just isn't logical."

"Oh, will you knock it off?! This is our salvation! A chance to return to our own heritage!"

McCoy shuddered in spite of his resolution. Suddenly cold, he stuck his feet under Kirk's covers. "Would you just listen?!"

Spock stood silhouetted in the light from the hall, looking even taller than usual, because the humans were seated.

"We were just talking," Kirk answered calmly, sparing McCoy the necessity of speaking, perhaps knowing instinctively that McCoy now could not do so calmly. Or, maybe he just saw the wild look in his eyes.

"I see," Spock acknowledged blandly. "However, it is late. Whatever your topic, I would say that it can wait until morning. Leonard, return to your room."

McCoy nodded obediently, still not daring to speak, rising a bit unsteadily to his feet, and wondering in his panicky, frantic mind if he were broadcasting his fear for Spock to hear in his telepathic brain.

Wishing to appear as cooperative as possible, Kirk slid back down to lie under his covers. In so doing, he banged his knuckles, with a slight metallic ring, on the object that he did not know was still there. McCoy had left his re-emotionalizer under Kirk's covers.

Spock's sharp ears detected the sound. He stepped forward and yanked away the covers.

Spock took it. His dark eyes shot needles into Kirk. "You know what I have to do." It was not a question.

"No," Spock observed meaningfully. "You are not." He turned to stare penetratingly at McCoy, who stood in the doorway. "But you are. Terrified, in fact. It is obvious to whom the device belongs." He advanced on McCoy.

"Oh no, please don't!" McCoy supported himself on the doorframe. He looked near collapse.

Sarek observed the emotive human with obvious distaste. "Spock, will you administer the correction?"

"I tried to warn you, Bones. And then I tried to cover for you. You should have let me; the punishment would have been meaningless to me in my emotionless state. Now, I can do nothing."

"Protect me!!! No, Spock!!!" McCoy felt himself grabbed and propelled effortlessly and irresistibly by two Vulcans. He was dragged, screaming, to his room, and placed in his bed.

"This is what you are defending? The right to feel this miserable? Very well. Then I will assist you in feeling the full extent of your misery." The Vulcan fingers touched the neck and found the fragile place on the back of the neck-bone. Spock pressed slightly.

Spock eased off his pressure and stared. "How long until I apply pressure again? You will never know until it comes."

McCoy tilted his head backward and arched his back in an unsuccessful attempt to relieve the pressure, and the pain. He wailed at his failure.

"Fear. Emotion. I want you to see how dreadful it is." Spock repeated the torture.

McCoy gritted his teeth and tried not to yell. That effort, too, failed. He yelled hopelessly.

"I want you to scream," Spock informed him. "I will not release, each time, until you do."

"No. That is too merciful." Spock elicited McCoy's next scream. And the next. And the next. Soon, the human was crying constantly.

In his bed, Kirk tossed and turned, knowing that he would get no sleep with McCoy screaming hysterically literally half of the night.

At breakfast the next morning, a newly re-disemotionalized McCoy looked mildly across the table at Kirk, and said, "I apologize for disturbing your rest, and for trying to involve you in something foolish and illogical."

Horribly self-conscious, the watching McCoy studiously avoided the eyes of Spock and Sarek, as Spock switched off that universe's settings.

Kirk looked up at Spock. "There's an old saying, 'There but for the grace of god, go I'."

Spock spoke intensely, "Jim, it was not we who did that." He indicated his fellow Vulcans.

Kirk forced cheerfulness, and a half-smile. "Oh well, if I ever must be a slave, I'd rather be yours than anyone else's."

Spock's eyes softened in at least partial reassurance. Then he suggested, "While we were perfecting our invention, we happened upon still another parallel universe with an intriguing difference from our own. Shall I perform the necessary settings?"

As Spock made the adjustments, he explained, "Now this is a universe in which Vulcan and Earth have had a war, but not a takeover. Neither side governs the other. In fact, no contact, no 'fraternizing,' between the two is allowed. Relations have been entirely severed…."

Kirk couldn't believe his own reaction. He was actually nervous about calling that frequency. He'd been so sure that he would never do so again. Yet here he was, contacting the communications frequency that would put him in touch with the home of Sarek and Spock on Vulcan. Ever since the cruelty of the permanent separation had been brought home to him by his brutally funereal mission of transporting a crying Amanda back to live on Earth, he had been convinced that his friendship with Spock had been forever dashed.

But now, here he was programming that special private frequency. He had to; he just had to do so. Spock would understand. Wouldn't he?

“I can see that. The video reception is quite clear. And you are in violation….”

“I know that, Spock, I know. But it’s an emergency. Believe me, if it weren't, I wouldn't dare…."

"Thank you! A shuttlecraft of ours has crashed on your planet. There were two humans aboard. One is still alive. He's lost, somewhere in the L-Langon Mountains. We're not allowed to beam down…."

"I know. I'm hoping that you'll ask a few trusted friends to help you: Spencek, Spornak, Spivak, maybe your father…."

"We would be traitors. We could be executed for such a breach. If we spared this human."

When Spock, Sarek, Spencek, Spornak, and Spivak finally located the fragile blue-eyed human, he was lying helpless and vulnerable, terribly weakened and badly dehydrated, but with still enough energy to scream desperately upon sight of them.

Spock elbowed the others aside, and knelt beside his fallen friend, taking McCoy's face gently between his hands, trying to force recognition from the confused, disoriented human eyes.

Half-delirious, knowing only that it was a Vulcan who had seized him, and realizing what that meant, McCoy mistakenly misinterpreted the powerful hands around his head, as going for the back of his neck. His screaming increased.

Realizing the nature of McCoy's misunderstanding, Spock slid his fingers up to the temples, to communicate directly.

"Spock," Sarek addressed him. He removed a listening device from one ear. "Our difficulties have increased. The shuttlecraft wreckage has been discovered, with one human body inside of it. There are clear footprints leading from it, in our direction. The search party will soon arrive here."

"No, no, you don't understand! I know that you'll do the best that you can, but I mean, if I'm found, don't let it happen that way! Anything else! Shoot me! Do you have a phaser?"

Spock understood then. "Oh. I see. But, Doctor, tal-shaya is merciful and quick."

"We shall see. Meanwhile, we must carry you away from here." Spock bent and lifted McCoy in his arms.

The human's head rolled weakly off of the support of Spock's shoulder. McCoy groaned.

Spencek reacted quickly, and caught the back of McCoy's neck in his hand, to boost his head upward and support it.

"Doctor, try to control yourself," Spock admonished mildly. "If Spencek had intended to severe the neck-bone, it would have been done before you could protest."

Sarek produced a blanket in which to wrap the human, to conceal tell-tale rounded ears, dainty pink skin, and shockingly blue eyes. As Sarek unfolded it, Spock looked into McCoy's face.

"Leonard, the blanket will only disguise you physically; it cannot camouflage you mentally."

"You humans have never developed the technique of shielding your emotions. And you are projecting fear at a prodigious rate."

"Perhaps not, but your loud emotional broadcasts will give us away to anyone within meters."

"It is true," said Spencek, from a few meters away from the two of them. "Your emanations are extremely clear and appallingly human. You might just as well be dribbling red blood all along our path."

Spock shook his head. "Impractical. We are entering the city of ShiKahr. There is only one way of safely smuggling a human in a Vulcan crowd."

Only once, during their journey through the city, did McCoy begin to moan and stir. This time, Spivak was nearest. He reached into the blanket and pinched before McCoy could truly regain consciousness. The moaning stopped.

Once inside Sarek's house, the Vulcans allowed McCoy to awaken. He irritably rubbed his left shoulder. "Did you both have to pinch the same one? I'm awfully sore!"

"Your right shoulder was against Spock, and out of reach," Spivak informed him, unruffled.

Spencek offered, "If we need to pinch you again, we will be sure to use your right side."

Spock decided, "Now let us see if we can unburden ourselves of our contraband human." He attempted and achieved contact with the Enterprise on the household viewscreen.

At sight of Kirk's face on the screen, McCoy felt tears well in his eyes. He ran to the monitor and reached out to it, as if he could touch his human friend through it. Kirk was almost as emotionally moved himself, upon sight of McCoy. The Vulcans watched the display curiously. Kirk thanked them profoundly. So did McCoy.

Just before beam-up, McCoy surprised Spock, and himself as well. He hugged him. Spock was startled, but did not push him away, and even looked down at the human tolerantly.

In the observers' universe, McCoy said, "Well, Spock, at least you redeemed yourself."

Spock reminded him, "Doctor, I did not do either of those things: the bad or the good. They were done by my counterparts." Inwardly, however, Spock was pleased that McCoy's noncommunicative phase had passed.

Kirk was visibly pleased, in turn, by a universe with a more benevolent Spock, although understandably disquieted at the thought of still another serious Vulcan-human rift, and obviously wondering what had been the cause of this most recent universe's war. Aloud, he commented to the Vulcans, "That's quite an invention that you have there, but I think that I've seen enough."

Spock turned off the machine and addressed the others, "We have experienced an interesting series of events recently: whether it is parallel universes, or incorporeal alien entities, or androids, or renegade humans: we seem to be constantly faced with various aspects of the Vulcanization of humans…."

All of the Vulcans greeted McCoy's half of the conclusion with obvious distaste, which prompted McCoy to quip, "Maybe I should gene-splice Vulcan fetuses to remove the cold unfeeling elements and make them more human."

Spencek countered, "At the risk of humanizing us even worse: I believe, Doctor, that it is time for another pillow fight."

Spivak put in, "Although it is never correct for a Vulcan to use the word 'enjoy,' I am almost tempted to say that I 'enjoyed' seeing my alternate self and that of Spornak finally nerve-pinch you, Doctor. For so long, we have teased that we would do so, but we have never gotten around to it."

Spornak agreed, "And likewise, I would have – dare I say – 'enjoyed' seeing the doctor pinched by one of his own kind." He glanced at Illya Solo.

As if only just remembering that Solo could do that, Lisa Hollister shuddered slightly and moved away from the rather well-Vulcanized human.

Seeing that, Solo could not resist commenting, "Yes, Lisa, do not forget, I have not lost the ability to nerve-pinch you, although I missed my opportunity on Vandress."

McCoy turned to Lisa. "At least you got Spencek to switch shoulders on you, when we crossed that narrow bridge, which is more consideration than my counterpart received, in the third parallel universe."

Spencek pointed out, "And it was my counterpart in that third universe who offered to switch sides for you, Doctor. I am outstandingly indulgent to humans, wouldn't you say?"

Spock shook his head. "As aggravating as you are, Doctor, and much as I hesitate to admit it, you and my mother are right: I would not want you disemotionalized."

McCoy was unexpectedly touched by Spock's admission, so he said, “But a partial disemotionalization can be a good thing; I realize now that you performed a minor one on me, to cure my nightmares; I figured it out gradually.”

Lisa added, "And I now know that you did the same for me, Spencek, and thank you. But I thank you more for something else that you did more recently. I thank you for petitioning Starfleet for permission to keep T'Lora with us on the ship."

Kirk regarded Spock and Spencek appreciatively. "That was very...human of you...both of you."

Illya Solo commented, "At the risk of...humanizing myself as well, I will admit that I found the second parallel universe, with the Vulcans disemotionalizing their humans, to be offensive. I wanted our people to choose it, not to be forced. I can sympathize, Doctor McCoy, with both you and your counterpart."

Perhaps the conversation was becoming too sentimental for Spornak. He quipped, "I, on the other hand, found that second universe entertaining."

In the now lighter vein, Sarek observed, "In both the second and third universes, I seem to have a habit of keeping in my home, either humans who are forced to be there, or humans who are forbidden to be there. No offense, gentlemen." He nodded to Kirk and McCoy. "But I prefer my own universe, with just Amanda. A human wife is...challenge enough."

"Indeed," Spencek agreed, which earned him a dig in the ribs from Lisa. Unperturbed, Spencek addressed Spock, "And in the first parallel universe, you had a beard. I had not been, until now, aware of that."

"It made him look like a pirate," Kirk said. "It helped him to fit in to that 'no holds barred' first universe."

Spivak sneaked up behind McCoy. "And I know what we should do with this character." He poised his fingers on McCoy's shoulder, and felt him stiffen. Spivak held the pose for a moment, and then released. "April Fool, Doctor."

Chapter:	Synopsis:
One	Humans’ latest gaffes.
Two	Devious human plans backfire.
Three	McCoy’s nightmares.
Four	Unpleasant discoveries.
Five	What’s more horrible than bucking Vulcans?
Six	In the tight tunnel.
Seven	A heartbreaking sight.
Eight	The diabolical plans of an apparition from the past.
Nine	Can we find a way out of this?
Ten	Are we actually home?
Eleven	Amanda’s intuition and empathy.
Twelve	New discomforts.
Thirteen	Ways to shock Ensign Lisa Hollister.
Fourteen	Kirk’s machismo gets him into serious trouble.
Fifteen	A frustrated Kirk and a startled McCoy.
Sixteen	An awkward ascent.
Seventeen	Soothing McCoy.
Eighteen	McCoy to the rescue.
Nineteen	Playful revenge.
Twenty	Human squirminess.

Chapter:	Synopsis:
Twenty-One	Amanda to the rescue.
Twenty-Two	Human squeamishness.
Twenty-Three	Nightmares abound.
Twenty-Four	Multiple discomforts.
Twenty-Five	Multiple reconciliations.
Twenty-Six	What about the baby?
Twenty-Seven	The most awkward assignment yet.
Twenty-Eight	The Vulcans make it worse.
Twenty-Nine	Impressive Solo.
Thirty	Sarek makes it worse.
Thirty-One	McCoy’s doubts.
Thirty-Two	A solution for Illya Solo.
Thirty-Three	Alternate possibilities.
Thirty-Four	Everything works out now.

"VULCANIZATION"