UTTER SURRENDER

Fodder-wing sat gloomily on the barn floor against the far wall, fretting mightily about whether or not his little friend Jody might be still alive. He couldn't imagine his brother Lem having punched Jody during that fight; Jody was as small as he was.

Lem chose that unfortunate moment to walk into the barn. He came halfway across the barn toward his youngest, smallest, crippled brother, and demanded, "You simmered down yit, or are you still poutin'?"

"Has somethin' changed??" the boy retorted. "Have we found out Jody's yit alive???"

"So, still fussin', are you? Still quarrelin' with me? You wanta feel what Jody felt? Stand up!" Lem's hand formed a fist at his side.

Fodder-wing eyed the fist, and then turned his face away from his bullying brother, his heart pounding, beginning to wonder if he'd said one thing too many. With his right cheek pressed against the rear wall, his left hand rose and touched the wall, wishing that he could disappear through it, and away from Lem. His hand trembled hard against the wood.

"Not so biggety now, eh?" Lem challenged smugly, taking a few steps closer to the boy.

"Lem, what're you doin'?!" Buck said from near the barn door.

Lem and Fodder-wing both turned to look, and saw Mill-wheel standing next to Buck. Lem looked disgusted, and Fodder-wing sagged in relief.

Defensively, Lem fumed, "You heered him smart-mouthin' me!"

Mill-wheel said, "Yeah, and we also heered you baitin' him."

Buck ordered, "Git outta here, Lem. We cain't settle him down with you tauntin' him."

"He was provokin' me!"

"Yeah, and you was provokin' him, and you're supposed to be the adult. Now git, or us two'll give you some o' what us three done gave Oliver."

Lem growled, but stalked out of the barn.

Buck and Mill-wheel approached Fodder-wing, who sat panting and leaning heavily on the wall.

The boy looked up at them. "He aims to hit me."

"I know," Buck admitted with a heavy sigh.

"I 'ppreciate you two stoppin' him jest now, and I'm right grateful you stopped him in the house when he looked ready to hit me, but you cain't guard me ever' minute. And you cain't watch him ever' minute, neither."

"We know that, too," acknowledged Mill-wheel. "Boy, you cain't keep sassin' him, no matter how you feel 'bout what he done to Jody."

Fodder-wing lowered his gaze. "I know," he said quietly. Then, he looked up at them plaintively. "Are you two riled at me for them things I said in the house?" he asked humbly, self-consciously.

"A mite," Buck said. "But not enough to beat on you."

"I'm afraid," Fodder-wing confessed with a shiver.

Mill-wheel nodded. "You should be. You don't b'long in our fights."

"No. None o' you-all never hit me like you-all hit each other, and I cain't imagine...."

"Be glad you cain't imagine," Buck warned him. "You ain't ready for sich as that."

Fodder-wing shuddered hard. "I know." He went on, "And I am sorry. I ain't meant to hurt your feelin's, you two, really. And I really ain't 'shamed o' you-all, honest. I'm most o' the time right proud o' you-all. And I know you ain't evil; I jest said that 'cause I was riled."

Buck shook his head. "Well, boy, ain't jest us two, plus Lem, you insulted. Arch, Pack, and Gabby wa'n't in our fight in Volusia, but they jest as good coulda been, iffen they'd goed with us to town. They woulda got in it, they said so, iffen they'd been there. So, them things you said was aimed at them, as much as at us."

Fodder-wing hung his head in genuine, sincere shame. His voice was almost too soft to hear. "They riled at me, too?"

Mill-wheel responded, "Well, they ain't happy with you."

The boy began to cry. "I'm 'fraid o' you! I'm 'fraid of all o' you! I don't wanta git hurted like that!"

Buck relented. "All right now." He went close, bent, and picked up the child in his arms.

Fodder-wing was limp in his grip. "Please!! Don't!!!"

"Now we done told you we'll not. Now calm down."

Mill-wheel suggested, "Now iffen you're smart, you'll offer that nice apology you jest gave us, to all the rest of our brothers. Might go 'long way to gittin' Arch, Pack, and Gabby to forgive you, too."

Fodder-wing blinked. "Do that mean you two forgive me?"

This time, Buck's tone was gentle. "Sure, young un, since you 'pologized so nice."

Fodder-wing hugged Buck in love and enthusiasm. Buck and Mill-wheel both laughed good-naturedly. But then doubt crossed the boy's face again, as he said, "Mebbe them three'll forgive me like you said, but that'll likely not be 'nough for Lem, will it?"

Both of his big brothers were once again somber. "Likely not," said Buck. "You know he takes things personal."

"Will you he'p me make up with him?" Fodder-wing requested hopefully.

Mill-wheel looked dubious. "We'll try. But are you sure you're ready to try to make up with him? You still sounded right riled at him, jest minutes ago."

Fodder-wing stammered, "I reckon I better be ready, right soon, iffen I don't wanta git hit that-a-way."

"That would be wise," Mill-wheel advised firmly.

Buck caressed his cheek. "We'll he'p, and we'll be right proud o' you iffen you stick to it, and not leave him rile you, 'cause you know he might try. You ready to handle it?"

"Yes sir," the boy murmured timidly.

"All right then; let's go face up to it now."

Buck continued to carry Fodder-wing into the house in his arms, which fact alone raised the eyebrows of every man there. He deposited the child onto his feet in front of them, but continued to stand behind him, supporting him by his hands on the thin shoulders. Fodder-wing repeated his tender, eloquent apology to his big brothers gathered there, clearly impressing Gabby, Pack, and Arch. Lem cocked his head skeptically, and regarded his littlest brother a bit dubiously.

Fodder-wing then asked, "Arch? Kin I set on your lap?"

"Sure, young un," Arch invited, reaching for him.

Buck and Mill-wheel exchanged a quick look. Fodder-wing's request was strategically clever, albeit a tad risky. Lem was seated next to Arch. Sure enough, Fodder-wing sat facing Lem.

The boy began, "I know what you're thinkin', Lem. You figger I'm sayin' all this jest 'cause I'm scared o' you, 'cause I know you wanta hit me. Well, you're half-right. I am scared. I don't want you should hit me. But I also mean my apology. I do b'lieve you, that Jody provoked you, and that you goed easy on him the first time, but that he provoked you agin, and only then did you let him have it for real. So, whilst he's my only friend, and I love him, and I am turrible fretted 'bout him, I do accept that he gave you good reason to do what you done. But Lem...." The boy reached and took Lem's huge hand with his own tiny fragile one. Buck and Mill-wheel exchanged a brief glance of apprehension over the fact that delicate Fodder-wing had trustingly placed his very breakable little hand in Lem's huge powerful paw. "In the barn, you asked me if I wanted to feel what Jody felt. No, Lem. I don't. I think you wanta hurt me. Please don't. I'm awful afraid o' you."

All five bearded Forresters were exceptionally impressed, judging by the looks that they exchanged. Buck's and Mill-wheel's mutual glance showed that they realized that the child hadn't even needed their help after all. Lem even appeared partially softened. But the next person who spoke was their mother.

"Lem," she said sternly. "I know I got no say over what you jaybirds do to the Baxters nor them accursed Huttos. But I got a heap to say about my boy. None o' you-all better never hurt my boy. And I don't keer what reason you think you got. You understand me??"

"Yeah, Ma," Lem acknowledged, with a long-suffering sigh. He even managed a placid, wry grin, which his bearded brothers echoed.

A few hours later, having fed all of his pets, Fodder-wing sat glumly in his corner of the barn again.

In the typical elegant timing that all of his big brothers seemed to possess, in sauntered Arch and Pack.

"Uh huh," Pack told Arch knowingly.

Arch agreed, "We figgered you'd be back out here broodin'."

"Oh no!" Fodder-wing turned away from them in embarrassed, outraged misery. "I jest knowed you two'd come up with this!"

"Well, why not?" queried Arch. "You told us."

"I'd never've done so, iffen you hadna got me drunk that time!"

"Loosened you up 'nough to let you tell us," remarked Pack.

"But you shouldn'ta got me drunk! Ma said so! She was riled at you that night!"

"But Pa said 'twas jest fine, we done so. He never agreed with her on that. Plus, it ain't made you sick, like it done the first time," Arch justified their "transgression."

"No, hit jest made me talk too much," Fodder-wing groaned.

"Look here, what you told us made sense. You're a Forrester, too, after all. Natur'ly you'd feel left out that you cain't git into our fights with us, and you'd wonder what hit's like."

"And this quarrel o' yourn with Lem gives you your first honest chance to try it."

"And yit you told Lem you don't wanta find out what hit's like, even after he asked you, straight out, iffen you did. You lied to him."

Fodder-wing eyed them, absolutely miserable. "Don't you see? When you got me drunk, I was jest ramblin', jest words. But this here with Lem makes it too real." He shuddered. "I'm scared for real!"

They watched him curiously, pondering his words.

With typically uncanny timing, Buck and Mill-wheel entered.

"What's this?" Buck asked.

"Oh no!" Fodder-wing repeated. "I don't wanta talk 'bout it!"

Arch told him plainly, "You tell 'em. Or we will."

Fodder-wing hesitated, anguished. But when Arch appeared ready to tell it, the boy hastily blurted, "Buck, Mill-wheel, remember not long ago when you two and Lem and Gabby goed off to Jacksonville together?"

"Sure."

"Well, whilst you-all was gone, Arch and Pack got me drunk one night."

Buck and Mill-wheel stared aghast at Arch and Pack. They clearly didn't know whether to be angry...or laugh.

Fodder-wing continued, "And they made me talk too much. And I didn't mean it!"

"You did mean it," Arch insisted flatly.

"Well, I don't mean it no more!" The child was beginning to cry.

Pack said, "Well, o' course you're nervous the first time! That's natural."

Mill-wheel was losing his patience. "What don't he mean? The first time for what??"

Arch answered, "The first time for him to git into a fight with us."

A pin could have dropped audibly. Then all four men stared at Fodder-wing as one.

"I cain't!" he whined. "Don't!!"

"Now let me git this straight," Buck said very slowly. "You told Arch and Pack that you want to git into one of our fights??"

"He wondered what it's like," Arch offered helpfully.

"And he felt left out," Pack added.

Mill-wheel stared at the boy. "Now this here's right int'restin'."

"What's int'restin'?" Lem asked, entering.

Fodder-wing was horrified. "No!!! You cain't tell him!!!" And then he screamed, "Ma!!!"

"Hey hey hey!" Buck put out a subduing hand. "Don't git Ma all upset!"

Mill-wheel readily agreed. "We'll work this out amongst us, but leave Ma and Pa outta this."

"But, young un, you admitted to us, this has been tormentin' you," Arch reminded him.

"What the devil...??" Lem finally demanded.

As the other four explained the situation to him, Lem stared unblinkingly at Fodder-wing, and Fodder-wing continuously shook his head slowly, looking back at him, with tears streaming, and silently mouthing, "I don't! No, don't! I don't! No, don't!"

When they'd concluded their explanation, Lem commented, "Int'restin' ain't quite the word." He was clearly fascinated.

As if on cue, in walked Gabby, who remarked, "The young un cryin' agin? Now what?"

Fodder-wing unleashed a wordless cry, and then blurted, "They aim to hit me!!"

"Who???"

"All of 'em!!!"

Gabby turned and stared at all of his brothers, but at Buck and Mill-wheel, in particular, as if they'd lost their minds.

Fodder-wing implored, "Stop 'em, Gabby! Stop 'em!!"

Then, Gabby turned and stared in equal disbelief at the boy. "You 'spect me to be able to stop all of 'em?? And what's all this about anyways?"

With a heavy collective sigh, the others provided their explanation yet again.

When Gabby had been filled in as well, he blinked at Fodder-wing, and blurted, "Well, I be dogged."

Fodder-wing recommenced sobbing. "I wish Ma and Pa'd come out here and protect me!!"

Buck stated firmly, "Now we ain't gonna pester Ma and Pa with this here. And do we look like we're threatenin' you?"

"You're all loomin' over me!" he wailed. "So big and tall! And I'm so leetle and helpless!"

"All right." Buck forced a soothing tone. "Let's all set down and talk 'bout this."

The six of them casually dropped to sit on the barn floor. Fodder-wing automatically cringed away from them.

Trying not to look wounded, Mill-wheel observed, "But you don't want nobody to set too close, uh?"

"Not right now," the boy said earnestly.

Buck ignored that. "All right, young un. Nobody's got you drunk now. So, talk to us."

"Sometimes," he began slowly, "hit bothers me a heap that I ain't big and strong and normal, like you-all."

Each of the six men greeted this news with varying degrees of sadness in their expressions.

"'Specially when you-all git into fights, or go off ridin' together on your horses, I...feel...left out."

Carefully, Buck said, "Well, now, young un, we've tried takin' you out ridin' with us, a coupla times, but you allus git upset iffen we do some huntin' whilst we gotcha."

Reluctantly, he admitted, "I know. I hate seein' you kill critters."

Lem insisted, "But, boy, a feller never knows when he's gonna git a good shot. He's got to take it when hit's there. And, you need meat as much as we do."

"I know," he admitted grudgingly, glumly, poking randomly at a piece of straw with one bare foot.

Mill-wheel put in, "So, we been leavin' you home, mostly, 'cause we don't wanta make you cry."

"I reckon. But when you all go off without me, I miss you."

"Aw, well now that's right sweet," Buck said with a broad smile.

"You-all have sich fun together. And I don't really b'long."

"Now that ain't true."

"Yes, 'tis, 'cause I'm too much younger, and too leetle and weak, ...and crippled."

"And yit you wonder 'bout fightin' with us."

He squirmed. "Yeah, well, I allus wonder what hit'd be like.... To be big and powerful, like you-all."

"Well, we cain't change you, boy."

He shrugged. "I know. I'm jest bein' silly."

Arch urged, "But now back to you wantin' to know what hit's like...." He paused meaningfully.

"I cain't. You'd kill me. Oh, not o' purpose, but...."

"No," Arch corrected patiently. "We know how to be keerful."

Fodder-wing looked up at him and swallowed hard.

Several of the others nodded in agreement, albeit some of them did so reluctantly, especially as they viewed their boy's fearful response.

But not surprisingly, Lem offered, "I was more'n willin' to jest forgive you when you made your sweet leetle apology, young un, but o' course, iffen you're wantin' to try it, I'd still be willin' to show you what it's like." His brows rose expectantly. His gaze held the boy's eyes as if hypnotizing him.

Fodder-wing murmured, almost in a trance, "Where'd you hit Jody?"

Accommodatingly, Lem reached out and gently caressed the child's jaw with his knuckles. When the young one didn't flinch away, Lem experimentally formed a fist.

Fodder-wing's voice quavered as he said, "I don't know as I'd have the courage to ever say, 'Go 'head'."

Arch said softly, "I don't know as we'd need for you to."

The boy looked puzzled. "What you mean?"

Instead of answering, Pack asked, "Young un, how long has this been tormentin' you?"

"Years."

Buck's and Mill-wheel's gazes met each other in horror at that revelation. Then, they exchanged meaningful looks with Arch and Pack. Wordlessly, Buck slid closer, and gathered their baby brother into his lap, supporting his crooked back against his massive protective chest. Lem's fist, never having vanished, rose slightly. Then, Fodder-wing understood.

"Oh...no...!" Little hands rose to cover his face.

Ever-so-gently, Buck took the boy's right hand in his left, and the boy's left hand in his right, and drew them down into his lap and out of the way. Lem promptly clipped the boy quite lightly, carefully withholding his full power. The boy sagged, insensate, in Buck's arms, but only momentarily.

A squeal of pain announced his reawakening, and he writhed in Buck's arms. Buck and Mill-wheel winced in sympathy for their little one. By contrast, Arch and Pack nodded to each other confidently. Lem looked satisfied. Gabby just appeared relieved that it was over and done.

Until the boy asked, "Lem? Is that how hard you hit Jody?"

Buck and Mill-wheel needn't've bothered to launch the strict and stricken looks that they did at Lem; even he looked thunderstruck at the possible implications.

Solemnly, he said, "No. Not even close. I let him have it full out. But I will never do that to you." Supposedly hard-hearted Lem actually gently caressed Fodder-wing's reddened jaw.

To the tremendous relief of all of the men, Fodder-wing sagged in relief of his own. "Good. I'd be way too scared to ever face that. This un hurts bad 'nough."

At that, his caring big brothers looked heartbroken at their little one's pain.

Then, Mill-wheel asked, "You feelin' a mite better 'bout all this now, young un?"

"Yes...." He thought for a moment, and then requested, "Next time you-all go out ridin' together, let me go with you. Don't leave me b'hind. I promise I'll not fuss, iffen you hunt."

Buck rewarded him with a huge grin. "Course we'll take you 'long, leetle brother. You'll ride right up b'hind me on my horse."

Fodder-wing's smile warmed their hearts.