REVERBERATIONS

 

 

            Jody was none too comfortable hunting with the Forresters without Penny, but he had no choice. His father was no longer up to it. Sooner or later, the still-a-child had to grow accustomed to socializing with the big men alone. He forced himself to go; it wouldn't do to isolate himself from the only neighbors for an extended time; that would only make reassimilation into their fold that much harder. Still, he was nervous, jumpy.

            Jody didn't mean to get in Lem's way, didn't even realize that he had. But when, without warning, the clean-shaven Forrester irritably barked at him from behind, "Boy! Move!", the small blond misjudged Lem's intent and completely overreacted. He cried out in startlement, leaped away exaggeratedly, continued to back away from the now-also-startled Lem, and futilely, desperately, worked to fight back tears of terror.

            "What the hell?" demanded Lem.

            Jody choked back a sniffle, turned his back on the dangerous man in order to avoid telegraphing to him any more of his emotional reaction than he already had, found himself facing a concerned Buck and a disconcerted Mill-wheel, and struggled mightily to squash his deeply-distressed expression.

            "Aw, Jody," Buck declared in consternation, and reached for the youngster. Now holding the boy in his arms, he could feel the almost-silently heaving chest and hear the whispered gasps. "Come on, let's set down." So saying, Buck planted himself on a nearby log and pulled the boy into his lap. Mill-wheel sat down beside them, so that he could see into Jody's face.

            "What the hell is wrong with him??" Lem demanded anew.

            Buck gently tilted up a small chin, looked into the tortured expression, and speculated quietly, "I figger he thought you was gonna hit him." To the boy, he added, "Am I right, Jody?"

            The little blond nodded spasmodically, still struggling to suppress panicky hiccups of fright.

            "Let it out, young un; stop tryin' to hold it in," Buck soothed, patting the small back.

            Jody gave up and obeyed, in a torrent of sobbing and choking.

            "Gawd!" said Gabby in amazement.

            Lem protested, "I wa'n't that riled! I jest wanted him to git outen my way!"

            Jody could barely manage to glance over at Lem, and when he did, Lem exclaimed at the degree of fright in the haunted eyes. Haltingly, Jody struggled to explain, "I...ain't...never...sure with you. Remember...when...you hit Pa without warnin', when you...thought he hunted a deer o' purpose that you had wanted??"

            "Yeah. I recollect that."

            "Well, ...I...feared...this...might be another...!" Jody broke off, panting.

            "Another time like that," Lem finished for him, with a rueful, crooked expression.

            "Uh huh!" Jody hid his face in Buck's beard.

            "Well, it wa'n't..., but even iffen had been, so what? You provoked me into hittin' you b'fore, when we was fightin' Oliver."

            "Dumbest thing I ever done," Jody muttered.

            "Oh really?" Lem was genuinely surprised. "When did you decide that?"

            "Same day."

            "Oh!" several Forresters said, more or less simultaneously, clearly perceiving that admission as an interesting revelation, and eyeing the boy significantly.

            Mill-wheel concluded, "Sounds like there's a heap more to this, things we don't know 'bout, goin' on here. Am I right, Jody?"

            Jody nodded, but wouldn't meet anyone's gaze. "I'm...so 'shamed."

            Buck recommenced rubbing his back. "Don't be, young un. But I figger you'll be better off iffen you tell us."

            Reluctantly, Jody admitted, "It's a couple o' things. First, I ain't tough like Pa. Likely, never will be."

            Arch suggested, "That may be so. All your brothers and sisters died as babies."

            Jody nodded. "And I a'most died the day I got into your fight."

            "What?" said Pack. "Lem, how many times did you hit the boy?"

            "Once," Lem answered succinctly.

            Several Forresters voiced "Huh??", as the appropriate response to that.

            Buck asked gently, "Why do you think you a'most died, Jody?"

            "They feared I wa'n't never gonna wake up."

            "They?" Mill-wheel prompted.

            "Pa and Oliver and Grandma."

            "Who's 'Grandma'?" wondered Gabby.

            "That's what you call Mis' Hutto, ain't it?" Buck asked.

            Jody nodded without looking up at them.

            "So you was knocked out a long time?"

            "When I waked up, I was starin' out the window, and the sun was settin', real bright, in my eyes."

            Mill-wheel frowned in near disbelief. "The fight was in the late mornin'!"

            "'Xactly."

            "Lord!" Buck realized. "That musta been...!"

            "Seven hours, Pa said."

            "Gawd!" Gabby commented admiringly, but also wistfully. "Arch! Pack! We sure missed a great one! I so wish we'd been in that fight!"

            Jody's resulting expression of horror aimed at Gabby was unintentionally comical to the Forresters, as he said, "Please! 'Twas bad 'nough as 'twas!"

            "We don't mean to laugh at you, young un," Buck reassured him. "But the shocked look o' horror on your face was...well...cute."

            "Sure," agreed Mill-wheel, suppressing a smile. "We kin sure see you're imaginin' goin' up agin six of us, 'stead o' three."

            Jody groaned and slumped in Buck's arms.

            "All right," Buck soothed. "You said 'twas two things we didn't know, that's weighin' on you. What's th'other?"

            "Nightmares."

            "'Bout the fight that day?"

            He nodded.

            "You keep dreamin' it, over and over agin?"

            He nodded again, but added, "Only worse."

            "Worse how?" prompted Mill-wheel.

            Jody looked uneasy, even at Buck and Mill-wheel, or perhaps, especially toward them. "Please don't git riled at me!"

            "We'll not, young un," Buck reassured him. "You cain't control your dreamin', and we'll not blame you. Jest tell us true, and it'll be all right."

            Jody looked resigned, took a deep breath, and blurted, "In the nightmares, you've kilt Pa and Oliver - they're layin' there dead - and now you're gonna kill me."

            Stunned silence was the only response.

            "And there's no way out. No amount o' beggin' 'll make you let me go. I keep beggin' and pleadin', and you three keep comin' at me, surroundin' me, laughin' at me, makin' fists at me, scarin' me o' purpose, closer and closer...!!"

            "Oh Jody!" Buck said softly, and enfolded him. He caressed the soft, teary cheek.

            "Hell, even I ain't that mean," Lem commented.

            "You cain't he'p what you dream," Mill-wheel soothed. "But you are dreamin' us meaner'n we kin be."

            "That's...why...I asked you not to be riled at me. I didn't want you should take my nightmares as an insult." Jody blinked. "But...are you sayin'...beggin' and pleadin' would allus make you leave me go??"

            "Course," Buck assured him sincerely.

            "Does...ever'body...agree??" As he gazed around the circle of men, all six reassured him convincingly that they would, even Lem. He sagged, this time, in relief.

            "Maybe now you kin stop havin' them nightmares," Mill-wheel suggested gently.

            "Maybe...I hope so...." Then a new thought clearly came to him. "Would...? No, ne' mind." He thought better of it.

            "What?" Buck urged him.

            Jody appeared uneasy.

            Mill-wheel said, "Look, young un, let's git all this out now, whilst we're talkin' 'bout it. Don't leave somethin' else simmerin' in you."

            "I'm...scairt you'll git riled...."

            "Agin?" said Arch. "I thought we had that all fixed. Look: right now, we'll not git riled no matter what. You kin talk 'bout anythin' you need to. All right?"

            Jody was sorely tempted. Slowly, he said, "I was jest wonderin'...iffen what you said 'bout leavin' off on somebody who was beggin' and pleadin'...would apply to anybody. Even...Oliver?" He pronounced the name in a small voice, as if fearful of even saying the name aloud in front of them.

            Their expressions bore not a trace of anger. To a man, they were flabbergasted. Lem was the one who voiced their common reaction. "Is he likely to beg and plead???"

            "I don't know," Jody confessed. "I ain't never asked him how he'd feel now, was he at your mercy. Ain't somethin' I kin ask; it'd be too awkward. But I've wondered."

            "What has you wonderin' that?" Buck prompted.

            "Well,...it's jest things like...he's been avoidin' you-all, steady, ever since the fight."

            "How you know that?" asked Mill-wheel.

            "Well,...he allus used to come visit us, whenever he got back from the sea, twice a year, every year, ...'til the fight. But then he'd not. A coupla months after it, Ma asked Pa why Oliver'd not come to see us, for the first time ever. Pa said he figgered Oliver'd had enough o' you-all for awhiles, and jest ain't travelin' this road."

            All six Forresters exchanged meaningful glances.

            "And then, in the fall, somethin' I heered Pa and Grandma sayin'...."

            "Go on," urged Pack.

            "Well, Grandma told Pa that she got so tired o' Oliver frettin' her, sneakin' 'round on the sly to see that gal...." He trailed off, looking quickly at Lem, suddenly timid once more.

            But once again, all six Forresters were exchanging looks, pondering the obvious significance of that exchange, fortunately not reacting to the awkward reference to Twink.

            "Plus, o' course, they runned off, all the way to Boston, to git clear o' you-all...."

            Buck concluded slowly, "Well, Jody, you may be right. Maybe Oliver would be...eager to git out of it next time."

            Mill-wheel took up the thought, "Don't mean he'd beg. But he might, 'specially iffen the whole blasted town wa'n't there watchin', this time."

            "That's what I was thinkin'."

            "Well, Jody," Buck speculated. "Iffen Oliver was beggin', I reckon we might jest leave him go." He looked up at Lem for confirmation.

            Lem gave it. "Yeah. I reckon."

            The others were nodding.

            "Wow!" Jody said in a hushed voice. His awe made Buck smile and pat his shoulder affectionately.

            "All right now, boy, you settled down now?" Mill-wheel's eyes sparkled kindly at the child.

            "I...think so.... Umm, so, I promise I'll never agin rile you-all o' purpose. But iffen I rile you accidental, and I don't know I done so, kin you say for sure you'll warn me, tell me to stop, tell me to 'pologize, tell me to fix it, whatever it is, and not jest...hit me???" He looked mostly at Lem.

            Lem...and everyone else...nodded and spoke affirmation.

            Jody's remaining tears were tears of relief, as he fervently thanked them.