LOSS

 

 

                In a parallel world in which Penny Baxter was killed during the fight in Volusia, Ory Baxter then fled back to her original family, knowing that she could not run their farm-in-the-wilderness and raise a child alone, especially never having been very fond of that particular child, after the deaths of so many previous babies. Jody remained in Volusia with Grandma Hutto and Oliver. When Twink Weatherby fled after the fight, neither Oliver Hutto nor Lem Forrester managed to find her, despite their best individual efforts, and an uneasy peace settled over the area.

            Living with the Huttos had been an innocent childhood joy the first time, when Penny had gone to fight in the war of northern aggression, because Jody had had a child's unjaded faith that his father would be returning. This time, however, much as he loved Grandma and Oliver, he could barely enjoy their company at all. He grieved for Penny, and for his home in the scrub, for his friendship with Fodder-wing, and even for his erstwhile friendship with the adult Forrester men. Indeed, without Penny to take him on visits to Forresters' Island, he did not even see them again until the Christmas doin's in Volusia.

            As Christmas approached, Jody was stricken with anxiety. He didn't even know if the Forresters would be attending the doin's. He didn't know if he could find the nerve to approach them, if they did attend. He only knew that he very much wanted to approach them. He needed his status in their hearts clarified, and his fear of their rejection resolved. Did they hate him? Would they even speak to him? Was there any chance at all for reconciliation? Would he ever see Fodder-wing again? As far as Jody was concerned, the Forresters were still his friends. But how would the huge brooding men regard him?

            Well, here he stood and there they were. Now what?

            Jody hovered acutely self-consciously a fair distance from the big men, glancing surreptitiously at them, and then quickly away again. His efforts at nonchalance only made him feel more ill at ease, and as if he were the focal point of the entire town. His rational self knew that the townsfolk were not all staring at him, but he could not convince his pounding heart, his fluttering stomach, or the tiny prickling hairs at the back of his neck. It didn't help that he was also uncomfortably aware that anyone whose attention might be on him, would surely wonder why he wished to associate with the dangerous men who had killed his father, anyway. Miserably, Jody glanced their way again, and thought that he caught Buck's eye for just an instant. But panicked, the boy turned quickly away again, and when he found the nerve to look back, Buck had turned away also. So now Jody was left with the agonizing worry over whether Buck had actually noticed him, what the big man might have made of the brief eye contact, and whether or not Buck had turned away from Jody deliberately.

            The small blond boy stood gazing helplessly at the floor. But he knew one thing for certain. If he missed this chance to make things right with the Forresters, he would have a very long time in which to chastise himself. What would Penny do? Why, he would march right over there to the men. So Jody did.

            Mill-wheel saw him first and regarded the boy noncommittally.

            "Hey," Jody said faintly.

            At that, Buck heard and turned toward him as well. "Hey, boy," he said evenly.

            "I've missed you," Jody blurted.

            Now all six of them regarded him in mild interest.

            The young blond shuffled his feet insecurely. But he forced himself to go on, "And I miss Fodder-wing turrible."

            Their expressions clouded. Lem said harshly, "Yeah, so do we."

            "I wish you'd brung him." Then, Lem's peculiar remark registered. "Huh?" Jody wondered in bewilderment.

            "He's dead," Buck explained flatly.

            "No," Jody murmured stupidly. "How? Why? When?"

            Mill-wheel told him, "He got sick and died. Jest a couple months after the fight."

            At the mention of the fight, Jody took an involuntary step backward. Tears formed in his eyes at the completely unexpected permanent loss of his friend. He blubbered.

            Touched by the child's genuine grief over the Forresters' own terrible loss, the six men's expressions softened, and Buck stepped close and put his big hairy arms around the child.

            Jody clung desperately to Buck and sobbed, for the loss of his friend and his father, and in bittersweet joy and relief that Buck would share at least this kind gesture with him. Jody did not want to let go, and Buck tolerated him.

            Neither of them saw or heard Oliver's hesitant approach.

            "Jody!" the former sailor bellowed from several feet away; he clearly did not wish to approach too closely to the Forresters, but he was determined to get Jody away from them.

            Buck and Jody released each other in startlement. All six Forresters drew themselves up challengingly toward the tall blond man. Jody whirled in resentment at the abrupt breaking of his precious hard-won moment with Buck.

            "What you think you're doin'?" Oliver demanded.

            Jody planted his hands on his hips in defiance. "I'm tryin' to mend a friendship, iffen they'll accept me!" He glanced behind him and saw the Forresters' brows rise in unison upon hearing his declaration of intention.

            Oliver was furious. "Have you forgot they kilt your pa?!"

            Now Jody's temper snapped. He stepped toward Oliver and screamed, "It's your fault! You started the fight!"

            Reflexively, Oliver hauled back and slapped Jody.

            "Ow!!" Jody staggered backward, toward the Forresters.

            Buck caught him reassuringly by the shoulders and steadied him. To Oliver, in low menacing tones, he declared, "You only git away with that once. You try that agin, and the six of us'll pick up where we left off last May."

            Oliver moved back a step, and extended his open hands in supplication, palms up and fingers spread. "I don't want to fight you-all agin. And I ain't meant to do that. I was jest shocked at what the boy said," he spoke more quietly. "I...never before knowed that Jody blamed me."

            Trembling in Buck's welcome grasp, Jody confirmed it. "You got Pa kilt, and all over that stupid gal! And now she's gone anyways; was it worth it?" Then he hesitated, realizing that that remark might not have been any wiser to say in front of Lem, than it was to say to Oliver. He didn't dare glance over his shoulder at Lem, but he watched Oliver lower his gaze and stare bitterly at the floor.

            Finally, Oliver's eyes rose, and he asked coldly, "Well, so now, what? You wanta go stay with them instead of us?"

            Equally coldly, Jody retorted, "I don't know as they'd have me, after what I done. And even iffen they would, I jest wish I could visit, like I usedta. But when I'm growed, I wanta go back to Baxter's Island where I b'long, iffen that's allowed." He deliberately looked up at the Forresters. "I know Pa bought that land offen you-all, long ago. I don't know whether hit's mine, since I'm still jest a young un, or whether it goes back to you-all now, 'cause you owned it first. I don't know how that works. But I do know I cain't never manage to go back home without your blessin', 'cause Pa once told me, no man couldn't live on Baxter's Island without the Forresters was his friends. So, kin I still be your friend? I know I shouldn'ta mixed into somethin' wa'n't none o' my business. I'm sorry I messed up."

            The Forrester men were duly impressed. They exchanged favorable looks.

            "Young uns got a right to make mistakes, and be forgiven," Buck spoke for them all. His brothers nodded.

            On impulse, Jody hugged him again, gratefully and enthusiastically. Buck chuckled and embraced him again.

            Experimentally, Mill-wheel offered, "Even older fellers got a right to make a mistake with us. Once," he added pointedly to Oliver. "So how 'bout it? You wanta make peace for the sake o' this here boy we all keer about?"

            Oliver hesitated only a moment before nodding meekly. But then he stammered, "But...Jody wants to visit you-all. I don't see how we'd.... I mean, I cain't...." He looked helpless.

            "Yes you kin," Buck responded evenly. "Long's you behave yourself."

            "But, I...I'm...."

            Buck nodded understandingly. "You're afeered of us now, I know. But nothin'll happen to you iffen you behave yourself."

            Oliver swallowed hard. "But...you-all don't want me to visit! So...should I jest...drop him off, now and agin, and go...." He didn't seem to know how to finish his sentence, seeing as the Forresters lived sixteen miles away, and absolutely in the middle of nowhere.

            By this time, Buck was becoming amused, as were his brothers, to varying degrees. "You kin visit, too. I reckon we kin find safe things to talk about."

            Oliver gave a nervous nod. "I s'pose. For Jody. And I'll behave," he assured them.

            "I figger you will." Buck grinned.

            Oliver steeled himself. "Jody? I'm sorry. And I reckon you're right; 'twas my fault. And I miss your pa, too."

            Jody looked up at Buck, turned, and transferred his hug to Oliver, with Buck's blessing.