PHOBIA

 

 

            It was August. Penny was fully recovered from the snakebite, and Fodder-wing had been dead for a month. A sullen Jody and a determined Penny went to visit the Forresters. It didn't take long for the Forresters to pick up on the boy's dark mood.

            Taking their realization as his cue, Penny said, "There's somethin' I got to tell you-all, but Jody don't want I should."

            The men's gazes traveled from father to son and back again.

            "Boy, I keep tellin' you, they got to know. It's for your own good."

            "Pa! Don't! They'll make fun o' me!"

            "Well, I hope not, but that ain't what's important."

            "I'm embarrassed! You're shamin' me, Pa!"

            "Now you know that ain't why I got to tell it!"

            Abruptly, Jody got up from his seat and stalked out of the Forrester cabin.

            Penny groaned and shook his head. "Well, maybe it's better iffen he don't have to hear it." He sighed.

            "Tell it, Penny," Buck urged, concern evident in his furrowed brows.

            Penny looked rueful. "It's about that...dratted fight we got into with you-all."

            All dark eyebrows rose.

            "Now please understand, fellers. I ain't blamin' you. Lem, 'specially, please don't take offense. I know this is all my own fault. But Jody shouldn'ta been in that fight. I shoulda found some way to keep him outen it. But everythin' happened too fast. And now I could jest...!"

            "What ails the boy?" Mill-wheel prompted.

            "Hit's two things. First, Jody cain't be hit like that without turrible danger."

            Lem observed Penny quizzically, but did not appear affronted.

            Penny said bluntly, "He was out cold for seven hours. We was feared he was gonna die."

            The Forresters exchanged startled looks, and there were a few exclamations of shock.

            "Oliver's ma and me, we was more fretted 'bout Jody than about Oliver; at least Oliver was awake. We had to wonder, would Jody ever wake up."

            "Gawd!" Gabby exclaimed, and turned to Lem. "How many times did you hit that young un?"

            "Once," Lem said succinctly.

            Now there were looks of frank astonishment amongst all of the dark men.

            Penny hastened, "Agin, I ain't blamin' you. Jody provoked you. So did I. But now we know. He's too young, too leetle, too...fragile. I ain't sayin' he's as delicate as your poor leetle Fodder-wing was, but.... And I reckon I shoulda expected Jody to be a mite frail, since all his brothers and sisters died as babies. Damnit, I shoulda knowed better! I was a fool to let him git into it with you-all!"

            Buck prompted gently, "Penny, you said there was two things wrong."

            Penny hesitated. "He...cain't git over it. He's...troubled. He keeps havin' nightmares about that blasted fight."

            Mill-wheel asked, "You mean, he keeps relivin' the fight whilst he's dreamin'?"

            Penny nodded. "Only worse. Most often, in his nightmares, me and Oliver's dead. Jest layin' there. And then you're gonna kill Jody, too."

            No one laughed. All of the big men just stared.

            "And you're surroundin' him, the three o' you, jest the way you done Oliver on that awful day: Lem in front o' him, Buck on his right, and Mill-wheel on his left."

            Mill-wheel blinked. "I ain't even remembered who was on what side."

            Penny went on, "And Jody cain't forgit. And he sees hisself there: in Oliver's place. Lem aims a fist at him. Jody backs away, and backs into Mill-wheel, who grabs him by the shoulders and won't leave him pull away. Jody turns his face away from Lem, toward Buck, and Buck grabs his chin and turns him, and makes him face Lem. Lem draws back that fist, and Jody screams. He screams for real, in the night, and I hear him, and go runnin' to wake him, and hold him, and leave him cry on me. And that's what happens over and over, night after night. Oftentimes, I jest keep holdin' him the rest o' the night, once he calms down enough to go back to sleep."

            Various shocked epithets issued from the Forresters.

            Penny continued. "So Jody thinks you-all'll make fun o' him and tease him 'bout this. Maybe you will and maybe you'll not, but that ain't what matters. What matters is: please don't never hit my young un that-a-way, never agin. He cain't take it. I doubt he'll ever rile you agin, leastways not o' purpose; for certain he'll not try to git into one o' your fights agin. But iffen he ever says somethin' wrong and it riles you, please settle for a slap, or turn him over your knee iffen you figger he deserves it, but please don't punch him."

 

            Jody had been sitting on a hay bale in the Forresters' barn. He rose, and his face turned deep red in humiliation when Buck, Mill-wheel, and Lem entered. They had assured Penny that they were the very three who could help reassure the child. Sure enough, they entered gently, and slowly, and went close to him in a most nonthreatening way.

            "Now young un," Buck said very kindly, "you got nothin' to be embarrassed about. Your pa told us 'cause he's worried 'bout you, and wants to keep you safe from harm."

            Jody whined, "I a'ready knowed I'd never be as big as you-all, but now, even when I git as big as Pa, you-all'll never see me as nothin' but a leetle young un, to be babied!"

            Mill-wheel said, "Well, ain't that a heap better'n takin' chances that might git you kilt? You're the only one your ma and pa got. They don't wanta lose you. Hit's good for us to know that we cain't git too rough with you, that we gotta be keerful."

            The small blond dug his toes into the straw. "But now you'll pick on me 'bout this! I'm so 'shamed!"

            Up to now, Jody had kept his gaze down at the floor, but Buck drew the boy's eyes up to his gentle smile, as he said, "We cain't promise we'll never tease you. But we kin promise we'll not make fun o' you."

            Tears shown in Jody's eyes. "What's the diff'rence?"

            Mill-wheel next drew his gaze, as he said soothingly, "Oh, there's a heap o' diff'rence. Teasin' is meant kind, nothin' mean about it. Makin' fun is meant nasty, and we'll not do that."

            "'Sides, Jody," Buck said meaningfully, "you're braver'n you thought."

            "How you mean?"

            "We three is surroundin' you jest like we done Oliver, and you ain't scairt."

            Jody's eyes grew wide as saucers as he realized the truth of what Buck had said. Mill-wheel stood to Jody's left. Buck was to his right. And Lem towered directly in front of him. He had been so involved in his shame that he hadn't even noticed what they had quietly done. He squealed in shock. Lem stepped forward toward him. Jody backed away hastily, and backed right into Mill-wheel, who took hold of the boy's shoulders and held him tightly. Jody turned his face away from Lem, with a bawling screech. Buck took the small pale face in his hand and turned it forward again, leaving the child directly facing Lem. Lem made a fist. Jody's resultant piercing scream was easily heard all the way to the Forrester cabin.

 

            "Oh lord!" exclaimed Penny. "Now what??" He scrambled out the door, followed closely by Arch, Pack, and Gabby.

            The four barreled into the barn, to see Buck holding Jody in his strong arms, consoling him, and insisting, "Now see? We goed through the motions o' your nightmare, and you didn't git hurted. That's the point. We ain't hurted you."

            "What?? What???" demanded Penny.

            Mill-wheel shrugged. "We relived his nightmare with him, but with one important diff'rence: we ain't hurted him. We changed the endin'. We don't figger he'll have that nightmare no more."